The Atom #9

This is Nightly News at 9, the only news you'll ever need! Tonight, we have a special report. Children across America are gathering to... THIS JUST IN! The Atom.... the Atom? The Atom, has just burned down a building. Yes, that's right people. The Atom has burnt down a building. The police say it was due to playing with an uncontrollable penguin holding coffee. Really? Wow.

 

Somewhere across town...

"I swear to Moses I'm innocent!" screamed the Atom.

"Tell it to the judge." said the cop who did important stuff.

"But, I'm a super hero?"

"Yeah. You're on of those freaks."

"AM NOT!"

"You just burnt a building down with a penguin."

"Yeah, I'll get in the car."

Atom looked to see his sidekick, Atomic Boy (even though he wasn't a boy, and was just some guy he met in the supermarket) being forced into a cop car.

This wasn't how today was supposed to go. I had dinner reservations. Sorry, right, narration.

 

Earlier that day... who comes up with these phrases, they suck.

"Atomic Boy.."

"Bill."

"Atomic Boy, what I'm about to show you, is pure magic."

"What's with the parka hood?"

"I just got back from Antarctica. Got myself a penguin."

"A penguin?"

"The one and only.... ATOMIC FLIPPERS!"

"What?"

"I call him Sparky."

"But.. Atomic Flipppers?"

"Oh, that was Seinfeld's idea."

"Who?"

"Wow, you really aren't caught up."

"I'm so confused..."

"You're in an Atom story, what did you expect?"

Just then a very cute penguin waddled into the the room.

"Sparky!"

"Atomic Flippers?" Atomic Boy was very confused.

The penguin had a backpack on. With it was a little arm attached... holding a cup of coffee. It was drinking it too.

"Atomic Boy, meet Atomic Flippers, aka Sparky."

"Hello, I is Sparky." the penguin announced.

"You got that in Antarctica?"

"Hell yeah I got it in Antarctica!"

"And it... TALKS?"

"Well, I wouldn't go as far as saying literary, but yeah!"

"This, is nice window, have thee." Sparky replied.

"Sparky, make me a latte, and fast." Ray ordered.

"Latte, cooking. Beep. Beep. Beep...."

"Isn't he great!"

"Uh, I could have made you a latte..." Atomic Boy (I mean Bill) said.

"Shut up Atomic Boy. This is the beginning of a great friendship."

"Latte, ready."

"Well, bring it over, I'm not coming to get it."

The penguin waddled around trying to get to Ray. However, he tripped on one of the cables coming from the T.V.

(Please, imagine the next 3 lines are in slow motion)

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Ray screamed.

"HE FELL RIGHT NEAR THE CABLES THERE COULD BE A FIRE!" Atomic Boy yelled.

"Oh, nooooooooo, hey everybodies, look a seinfeld."

The whipped coffee reached the floor. Miraculously, it didn't hit the cables.

"That was close." said Atomic Boy.

"Nah, I would've gotten us out of here safely if anything happened..." Ray answered.

Just then, the coffee burst into flames.

"WHAT THE S*#%?"

"RAY YOU F*&%^$# IDIOT!"

"I is a penguno."

Fire trucks could be heard coming down the street.

"THIS IS BAD RAY!"

"YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT?"

"I DON'T KNOW YOU ARE A VERY QUESTIONABLE PERSON!!!"

"SAYS THE GUY AT THE SUPERMARKET WHO JUST HAPPENED TO FALL INTO MY WHITE VAN!"

"YOU PUSHED ME IN THAT VAN!"

"kidnapping and getting in are one in the same...."

Just then the room burst into flames.

"Quick out the window!" Atomic Boy yelled.

"WAIT! My complete collection of Seinfeld shows!"

"GET IT LATER!"

Is he mad?

"IM GETTING IT NOW!"

"RAY YOU'LL DIE!"

"WHY DO YOU CARRREEEE!"

"GET THE DISCS AND LETS GO!"

"actually they're on VHS..."

"RAY!"

"ugh. fine. coming... stupid sidekick... getting in my business.."

They jumped out the window, all the while Atomic Boy held Sparky, and Ray held his collection of VHS tapes. Cops surrounded them.

"You have the right to remain silent!"

"Well... this should be interesting" Ray said.

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Thank you Levi for the idea of a newscaster in my story.. I saw yours on Deadpool and thought it would be a fun way to introduce the story.

 

 

Done