249/365 - thinking more positively
I write this with truth and vulnerabilty....
Yesterday I turned 50. Leading up to the big day I began to feel anxious, and not in a good way. I don't know what it was but something about it just really bothered me but I didn't know why. Lots of other people turn 50 with grace but I was having trouble with it. There was just something that made me feel anxious about it, like an impending doom was waiting for me right around the corner. I am an overthinker and I have lived with anxiety as long as I can remember. As a kid, my stomach would hurt (alot!) and it wasn't until my adult years that I put two and two together. When I am stressed, my stomach aches, so much that I can hardly eat. Sometimes it is days before it settles again. Tension also builds in my neck to the point where it causes headaches and sometimes migraines.
The day came and went without an issue. I took the day off work and went out for the day (see my previous photo about that) and I enjoyed myself very much and afterwards my nerves settled back down. Today I reflected on it and I kind of laugh about it now. I look back on the last 50 years and wonder where the heck did the time go and wished I had done some things differently and how I missed out on certain opportunities because I lacked confidence in myself. For example, I wished I had chosen a different career path, one that is rewarding and pays well enough to do the little extras in life that otherwise cost money, like travelling. I would love to travel more but the cost of living has skyrocketed so much, I have no idea where I will ever get the money to do that. But even still, all of that isn't really important. What is really most important to me and what I am most proud of is my family. ❤
So for this side of 50 I promise to go easier on myself and practice more self acceptance and try not to worry about the things I have no control over. It doesn't help worrying anyways. Also I know fully well that aging can't be stopped. I am not high maintenance and can't be bothered to go to spas. I use Ivory soap and moisturizer on my face and wear very little makeup. I am a less-is-more kind of person and always will be. I want to accept that aging is truly a gift, one that is denied to many. I really just want to be a better person than I was yesterday.
Thanks for listening...I hope everyone is doing well. :) xo
249/365 - thinking more positively
I write this with truth and vulnerabilty....
Yesterday I turned 50. Leading up to the big day I began to feel anxious, and not in a good way. I don't know what it was but something about it just really bothered me but I didn't know why. Lots of other people turn 50 with grace but I was having trouble with it. There was just something that made me feel anxious about it, like an impending doom was waiting for me right around the corner. I am an overthinker and I have lived with anxiety as long as I can remember. As a kid, my stomach would hurt (alot!) and it wasn't until my adult years that I put two and two together. When I am stressed, my stomach aches, so much that I can hardly eat. Sometimes it is days before it settles again. Tension also builds in my neck to the point where it causes headaches and sometimes migraines.
The day came and went without an issue. I took the day off work and went out for the day (see my previous photo about that) and I enjoyed myself very much and afterwards my nerves settled back down. Today I reflected on it and I kind of laugh about it now. I look back on the last 50 years and wonder where the heck did the time go and wished I had done some things differently and how I missed out on certain opportunities because I lacked confidence in myself. For example, I wished I had chosen a different career path, one that is rewarding and pays well enough to do the little extras in life that otherwise cost money, like travelling. I would love to travel more but the cost of living has skyrocketed so much, I have no idea where I will ever get the money to do that. But even still, all of that isn't really important. What is really most important to me and what I am most proud of is my family. ❤
So for this side of 50 I promise to go easier on myself and practice more self acceptance and try not to worry about the things I have no control over. It doesn't help worrying anyways. Also I know fully well that aging can't be stopped. I am not high maintenance and can't be bothered to go to spas. I use Ivory soap and moisturizer on my face and wear very little makeup. I am a less-is-more kind of person and always will be. I want to accept that aging is truly a gift, one that is denied to many. I really just want to be a better person than I was yesterday.
Thanks for listening...I hope everyone is doing well. :) xo