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Fatherhood Necessities

As some of you might know, my wife and I are expecting our first child at Thanksgiving.

 

Recently my wife had a baby shower and received many great gifts (which means there's less money I'll have to spend). I mean, thanks for the presents.

 

Anyway, some of our neighbors couldn't make it to the baby shower and decided to hold one in our neighborhood...and it was for couples. I figured we'd get more presents for the baby, but it turns out one couple decided I needed something to prepare me for fatherhood.

 

The basket contains many useful items, such as:

 

eye mask - as if I'll be the one who gets to sleep since I'm not the one carrying the baby for 9 months

 

rubber gloves - major necessity for changing crappy diapers

 

condoms - actually a little late for these, but quite useful for when my wife decides she wants to try for another

 

tongs - I'll use these in conjunction with the gloves when changing the diapers. They won't be recycled to the kitchen when diaper duties are done.

 

sleeping pills - might have to fight my wife for these when the baby's crying all night

 

ear plugs - what's that? the baby's crying? I don't hear anything.

 

hand sanitizer - just in case the gloves rip while changing the crappy diapers

 

stress ball - the neighbors actually wanted to get me a breast implant

 

energy drink - need that for keeping up with the baby. Or maybe I'll give the baby a few swigs when my wife is home alone with him or her.

 

assorted cleaners and air sprays

 

aspirin - I already have a headache trying to put together all of the things that we received with a million parts each. Plus, apparently there was ONE night my wife didn't have a headache...or I wouldn't have received this basket.

 

The only thing missing from the basket was nose plugs, but since there are 4 ear plugs I can just stick 2 of those up my nose.

 

The only thing I need now is the baby. Bring it on!!!

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Uploaded on October 16, 2008
Taken on October 16, 2008