element 119

my boy, I've made another breakthrough!

what, another one, herr doktor?

indeed! and it's huge! I've discovered a new element! I'm naming it after me, so I'll forever be in the periodic table of elements!

gee, that's exciting, herr doktor. can I see it?

see it? well, actually, no. it exists only as a computer model. not in the, you know, actual world.

oh. so maybe you should call it unrealium. know what I mean?

yes. that name is kind of. . . catchy, isn't it? ok! I'm going to contact the periodic table committee right away!

didn't they expel you for fraud last year?

oh that was nothing! a mere clerical error!

for including in your book a bunch of pop-ups of animal penises?

I told them, that was totally the publisher fault!

I think yours was in there too, wasn't it?

for comparative purposes only! my dedication to science knows no bounds!

or shame, right?

right! I mean, what?

Done