THE 12TH AGE OF ULTRON - THE TWELFTH AGE

THE TWELVE AGES OF ULTRON - THE TWELFTH AGE (PART ONE)

 

HULKBUSTERS SMASH TINY ULTRON!

 

In the twelfth Age Of UItron

Joss Whedon gave to me

Twelve ‘Busters busting

Eleven wipers wiping

Ten broads a leaping

Nine blasters blasting

Eight ladies chilling

Seven spiders spinning

Six gaussed a-laying

Five Mandarins

Four brawling nerds

Three drenched men

Two mortal foes

And a Rocket in a Groot tree

———————————————

 

Right-o, for the penultimate (!) shot in this series, I wanted to play with the idea of Ultron and his drone army pitted against the Stark/Banner Hulkbuster armour, A.K.A, Veronica. Or to be precise, an even dozen of the big bruisers comprehensively kicking Ultron’s adamantium (and/or vibranium, depending on whether you favour the comics or the movie) shiny metal arse.

 

What IS the collective noun for a Stark load of Hulkbusters? Given that Veronica is named after the character in “The Archies” comics (Joss Whedon’s logic is invincible, if Bruce Banner’s best girl is Betty Ross, then…) perhaps a Riverdale of Veronicas wouldn’t be out of line?

 

Okay, so it’s not JUST about the HBs going all metal evil on Ulty and his terrible Tinions. It’s generally not enough to pummel the killer chrome robot’s body, as he is traditionally able to transmit his cybernetic intelligence the-silicon-hell-outta a smashed body and into a factory fresh one.

 

I saw Tony Stark use an empty, remote piloted Model 52 Veronica-like suit against the horrific Hank Pym/Ultron cyborg in the Marvel comic book, The Uncanny Avengers (Issues # 11, and 12, 2016). The tactic he employed was nicknamed “Project Icarus” and involved popping open the super tuff suit unexpectedly in battle, capturing and confining Ultron within it, and then booping the suit into the Sun!

 

Somewhat similar, come to think of it, of the tactic Stark used against the Extremis enhanced Aldrich Killian in the Ironman 3 movie, where he self destructed the suit to exploderate his foe. (Didn’t quite work that time either, oh well.)

 

Anyway, how cool was it in Avengers: Age Of Ultron when Tony in the Hulkbuster actually fought the Other Guy to a standstill, which is highly unusual (practically unique!) in the long history of HB vs Hulk stoushes. Hulkbuster actually smashed Hulk! Of course, all due credit to the fact that Bruce Banner helped design Veronica…which makes entirely good, practical sense! Tony Stark’s an (THE!) engineer and he doesn’t care where an idea comes from, so long as it works. Same same with Bruce, apparently, as I think he may end up wearing the Hulkbuster suit in Avengers: Infinity Wars. Tony's not the only one who is Irony Man, apparently. How very meta!

 

Oh, and there’s Joss Whedon off to the left there lining up, ‘The Shot’! Yay, Joss! Thankyouthankyouthankyou for giving us a movie with a Hulkbuster in it! That’s the Joss Whedon figurine that was packaged with DVDs of Morgan Spurlock’s geek-culture documentary Comic-Con Episode IV: A Fan’s Hope.

 

And ta also to filmmaker Simon Imberger, who loaned me the wee ornamental metal camera a very long time ago! (Just as well I didn’t rent it from a gear store…the fee by now would be $tarkrageous!

 

I dithered around with the backdrop for this shot.

 

The first attempt was against a green screen. (That’s green screen, not ‘ol Greenskin!) but I found that the red of the massed Hulkbusters against it looked rather predictably hideous.

 

There’s some other ideas that didn’t pan out, so in the end I went for something entirely neutral, so it wouldn’t detract from the ‘characters’. 'Ironically', I still went with a green, gridded cutting board as a floor, but that's not too bad, especially since mostly it's the Ultrons and other 'bots that are shown against it.

 

Okay, to the cast!

 

THE 'BUSTERS

 

Twelve good mecha men and true. Truly!

 

Unlike a lot of tech, Ultron can’t hack these suits, they’re specifically shielded against cyber-subversive hacking. You’d think that wouldn't be something a Hulkbuster suit would need (“Hulk smash puny keyboard!”) but perhaps they wanted to guard against Banner himself going rogue, rather than “The Other Guy”.

 

I'm going to list these blokes from front row to back row, left to right. (The viewer's left.)

 

These are the five smallest, in the front rank, left to right.

 

-The first one riffs off the original comic book design for the Hulkbulkster suit, which was an add on package to the so-called Modular Armour, or Model 13 suit. The MCU suits tend to vary across "Mark" numbers, whereas the comic book major variations are listed as "Models".

 

It first appeared in Iron Man Volume 1, # 304, in May, 1994, which, even though it has the Thor-like villain, Thunderstrike, featured on the cover, ends up with Tony confronting Banner/Hulk in an old Stane International plant that was manufacturing Gamma Bombs. Stark fights the Hulk when he shows up, but after the obligatory battle, the two Avengers end up working together to destroy the facility, having 'Ironed out' their differences....this time.

 

Anyway! The figure is 11 cm (4 1/2 inches) tall, with 16 points of articulation and was released by Hasbro, spinning off the Iron Man 2 movie, pre-dating, of course, the H.B's movie screen debut in The Avengers film. This is a quite well detailed figure, and I like the 'cranberry' red colour scheme, even if you can't move the helmet much on those mighty shoulders!

 

-7cm (2 3/4 inches) 2008 Hasbro Super Hero Squad Hulkbuster from The Genius Of Tony Stark four figure boxset. This one only has three points of articulation, but I think it’s the only World War Hulk story arc Hulkbuster toy available so far. The suit was destroyed by Hulk when he collapsed Avengers Tower onto it. If this looks odd in this cute toy, trust me, it looked weirder in the comic books! One of a long line of expensive suits that Hulk SMASHED! (I'm sure Tony gets to write them off on his tax. The paperwork must be apocalyptic reading!) it's not the smallest one there is, when it comes to Hulkbuster toys, of course, because there are the wee Heroclix ones that have obviously been subjected to Pym Particles.

 

-I had to get a LEGO Hulkbuster piece in here. This is the 13 cm (5 inch) one from the 2015 LEGO Hulkbuster Smash # 76031 playset. It's got about nine basic points of artic. Hard to tell with LEGO, but there are additional ones 'cos the whole front can hinge open, and the helmet pivots back to reveal a LEGO Iron Man figure wearing a Mark XLIII suit. Oh, and all the four fingers can move on the mitts! I quite like this wee bloke, especially its ability to launch a couple of projectiles from the right gauntlet, using a simple mechanism. Madly, the LEGO Marvel Avengers Game features a playable Squirrel Girl, 'Squirrelbuster', variant of this suit, complete with a big LEGO foofy squirrel tail, nutty expression on the visor, and S.G mini-fig piloting the rig. Even more madness! There's also a Stan Lee, 'Stanbuster' variant in the game! ('Nuff said!) The playset also includes Hulk, Ultron, and Black Widow figures, along with a Hulk trap and amusing little 'launchers' to catapult some characters acrobatically through the air.

 

-The next cool figure is the 2015 10 cm (4 inches) Disney Infinity 3.0 Edition Hulkbuster toy. It’s not articulated, and I cut the interface stand off it so I could use the figure in isolation. It’s one of the biggest characters in the Infinity game series, very powerful, and voiced in the game by Adrian Pasdar. Pasdar also voices Iron Man in Marvel Anime, Ultimate Spider-Man and Avengers Assemble. He’s also played Hawkeye and Captain America in other animated productions. You may know him in person on the live action screen as Nathan Petrelli in Heroes, or as Glenn Talbot in Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. I think I first saw him in the cool ‘80s vampire movie, Near Dark. Anyhoo! The figure is based on the Veronica Hulkbuster, as shown in Joss Whedon’s Avengers: Age Of Ultron.

 

-Again, this 'SHINY' older 13 cm (5 inch) figure represents the original Iron Man Volume 1, # 304 - May, 1994 comic book Hulkbuster. It's the 1995 Toy Biz H.B, Series 3 in the toy line created to back the 1994 to 1996 Iron Man animated series, that, along with a Fantastic Four show, formed the Marvel Action Hour on television. It ran for two series, for a total of 26 episodes. The first season was pretty awful, but a production house change saw the second season ramp up considerably to deliver some quite decent stories. Actor Robert Hays (who also played the title role in the Starman television series) provided the voice for Iron Man/Tony Stark across several mid-'90s Marvel animated shows.

 

Anyway, the toys were, and are, terrific, and contained lots of armour variants based on existing canon but also many ones simply made up for the line. They are semi-modular, in that the high gloss metallic armour 'accessories' plug into the base plastic figures. Theoretically, they can be mixed and matched between figures, though you had to be careful doing that, both back in the day, and now, as the pins on the pieces can break off. The Toy Biz Hulkbuster captures the heavy metal presence of this iconic design and has nine articulations.

 

The second rank is a bit uneven as the two middle figures are staggered. Again, from left to right....

 

-The winged bloke holding the flank is the 2015 Super Hero Masher Hulkbuster from the 2015 Hasbro Iron Man Vs Hulk two-pack. At 26cm (8 inches) tall, with about eleven articulations, the oddest thing about him is that he's standing on an extra pair of platform boots, oh, and has wings! Because...well, just because! The Mashers are a popular line of multi-franchise toys which also include D.C, Star Wars, Transformers and a number of other properties. They all break down into pieces that can be easily reconfigured, which means that yes, you could create your own combo of Hulkbuster/Superman Buster for Batman to brood around in! Or you could maybe jigger the bits onto a Tony Starch Mr Potato Head toy, to create the Sensational Spudbuster...

 

Good luck with the wings, matey! I suppose it would provide a distraction while Hulk is pulling them off...before he beats you to scrap with them.

 

-Next is a particular fave. It's the Hasbro 2014 Playskool Heroes, Marvel Superhero Adventures Hulkbuster from the Stark Tech Armor two-pack.

 

17 cm (6 three quarter inches) tall, this one has a lot of neat features, in spite of only having six articulations. One of THOSE is the amusing, spinning left arm, whose fingers are spring loaded and can hold the Hulk figure that comes with the set. The Hulk is also spring loaded, and can jump up to headbutt the Buster! ("Hulk's skull thickest one there is!") The whole front of the torso hinges down to reveal a small, helmetless Iron Man figure, in scale with others in the range, who virtually catapults out when the panel is pressed, all feisty for fightin'.

 

-Taking a step back, behind the Playskool piece, is the 2015 Hasbro Marvel Legends Build-A-Figure Hulkbuster, another stand-out BAF in the range. This is...a beast of a figure! Standing 23 cm (9 inches) tall, weighing in at a very hefty 888 grams (1 pound, 15 ounces) this big bloke has 14 articulations, though you can't do much with his mitts, as their movement is restricted by the humungous forearm guards. This figure has been released twice as a BAF, with the following individuals in each case, which of course each had one component of the Buster included in their packaging. The colours between the two different BAF Hulkbusters released were also noticably different, with the second issue being a deeper, more 'hot rod red' screen accurate colour plastic than the first, which the punters thought looked a bit too 'toylike'.

 

BAF Hulkbuster Release 1 - The first somewhat eclectic set features Doctor Strange/Valkyrie/Blizzard/Vision/War Machine/Thundra and black and gold armoured Marvel NOW! Iron Man.

 

BAF Hulkbuster Release 2 - The actual Age Of Ultron set is naturally Avengers heavy and includes Hulk/War Machine/Iron Man/Captain America/War Machine/Black Widow/Hawkeye/Loki and Thor.

 

The third and final row...

 

-On the left, the Hasbro 2015 Titan Hulkbuster, regular sized figure. This is the 'bog standard' Titan Hulkbuster, which is reduced in size so it's not actually in proper scale with the regular line, but is around the same size as them. It has seven points of articulation and stands 29 cm (11 inches) tall.

 

-Dominating the middle is the Biggest Bloke there is! Well, very nearly. 45 cm (17 1/2 inches) of the 2015 Hasbro Titan Hulkbuster. Which held the record as the largest Hulkbuster toy until the Hot Toys version hits the pavement at a colossal 55 cm (21 inches). The Titan weighs in at 1.039 kilos (2.29 pounds) and has even less than the usual Titan series limited articulation, with only two points of articulation beyond the shoulder swivelling beefy arms. But those two points are pretty swish! A large section of the front rachets upwards on hinges, allowing you to place a regular Hasbro Titan Iron Man figure inside of the beastie, which is the main feature that has delayed the Hot Toys 'Buster's production so long, achieved here with elegant simplicity. The helmet pivots open 'n all, which allows you to see the other figure inside. It's a neat trick, which perfectly represents the prudent habit that Stark has of wearing the Hulkbuster armour over one of his less invincible suits. Always a good idea, as the most common fate of many, but not all, of his 'Buster wardrobe is that they get busted by Hulk, often being literally punched off him by old Greenskin's SMASHING fists! So, he kinda needs a regular suit to boost him the heck out of his tax write off! Anyway, he's more or less the right size to also trap the Titan Ultron inside; more of which, anon.

 

-On the right end of the line is the 2015 Hasbro Titan Electronic Hulkbuster. At 34 cm (13 inches) tall, this is a chunkier version of the regular Titan, with five articulations, one of which is a wicked cool 'Iron Man SMASH!" 'jackhammer' action on the right arm, bringing to toy pummeling life one of the key features of the on-screen 'Veronica' suit. It activates suitable punching sound FX, though lacks the appropriate humourous dialogue, "GOTOSLEEPGOTOSLEEPGOTOSLEEP!"

 

There's some other sound FX: heavy metal walking, flight, plus some battle winning banter:

 

"Cap, we have to stop Ultron!"

"Oh yeah, this is power!"

"Whoa, big guy!"

"Rerouting power to ARC reactor."

"Hulkbuster, powering up!"

"Repulsor blast!" (BIG PEW!!)

"Thor, lightning strike, NOW!"

"Cap, cover the perimeter!"

"Ultron, you're just a cheap copy!"

"Avengers! Assemble!"

"Bruce, it's time to calm down."

"Mk 43, hit Ultron, Now!"

 

It can also interact, vocally, with other electronic Titans, which is a hoot 'n a holler.

 

"Let's armour up!"

 

Next, the dishonourable opposition.

 

All of the robots, cyborgs and other metallic bods that Ultron either manufactured or has ‘turned’ and which the Hulkbusters have subsequently quelled.

 

These are scattered all over the battlefield..literally in the case of the broken ‘bitzers’, so it’s rather difficult for me to pinpoint them. No worries, you have fun ‘bot spotting!

 

The Ultrons.

 

-Well then the biggest bloke (does my bot look big in this?) is the 2015 30 cm (12 inch) Hasbro Avengers: Age Of Ultron Titan electronic Ultron. This is the same one that the ladies knocked about in The Tenth Age Of Ultron. All stashed safely in a bloody great Hulkbuster and bound for sunnier climes in…the Sun! (So, nah, not Aussie! A bit cooler.) Ooroo, maniacal metal matey…NOT!!

 

-17 cm (7 inch) 2012 Hasbro Marvel Legends Comic Book-ish Ultron. This was part of the Iron Man 3 movie tie-in Build-A-Figure wave that gave you all the components to put together a large, blue, Iron Monger figure. The body’s essentially a re-purposed Titanium Man, only cast in silvery plastic, but still has a pretty good look to it, with a fair range of articulation.

 

-2015 4 cm (1 inch) Wizkids/NECA Heroclix Ultron made from Iron Legion parts. I’ve never actually played the game that these wee folks are from, but I like them ‘cos they’re teeny tiny and intricate.

 

-3 x Avengers Iron Legion Stark Industries drones re-purposed by Ultron, who got to them before Tony tumbled to Ultron’s ability to control hardware. These 7cm (2 3/4 inch) figures are part of the 2015 Hasbro Avengers: Age Of Ultron tie-in wave. The Ultron came with two untainted Iron Legionnaires to fight. These lil blokes only have five points of articulation. I thought it would be cool if the three of them were falling over in a kind of stop motion sequence after being punched…

 

-The big mix ’n match Hasbro Marvel Super Hero Mashers have tiny micro figure versions. This 6 cm (2 and change inch) 2016 one came from the Iron Man Vs Ultron battle pack. These figures, interestingly, are made in Vietnam, instead of China. It only has three points of articulation, which of course are also where the parts can be swapped with others in the line.

 

-Hasbro also has a line of Playskool Marvel Super Hero Adventures. Again, this 2014 6 cm (2 and a bit inch) comic book inspired Ultron came in a battle pack with Iron Man.

 

-The 2005 Toy Biz Hasbro Series 8 Modern Armour Iron Man figure, sculpted by Dave Cortez, came with an elaborate base that depicts a wall that Stark has (presumably) blasted through, with a pile of comprehensively broken Ultron drone parts. Avengers Disassemble! The parts are strewn around the set.

 

-The 18 cm (7 inch) Hasbro Marvel Select Black Widow figure, came with a base littered with smashed robot parts. Way to go Widow! Some of the metals limbs are being used as clubs by the Hulkbusters…that's Irony, Man!

 

-Weirdest of all is the tottering “Ultimate Ultron” build-a-figure that looks like a big mess made from multi coloured gelatine. That creepy composite drone is made from assorted components included in the 7cm (2 3/4 inch) 2015 Hasbro Avengers: Age Of Ultron tie-in wave. The semi-transparent gel colours, along with the not too well engineered peg and socket joints let down what might have been a cool toy. Longer pegs and deeper sockets would help, and I am very tempted to fix that, and repaint the whole thing silver.

 

It doesn’t hold together well when assembled and there’s a bit of guesswork involved there too, as the pictures on the back of the carded packs are so small that it’s a little hard to follow. Well, okay then, there’s some small fun to be had plugging in additional bits beyond the design, so there’s that in its favour. I recall this toy caused a little stir when it can out before the movie, as fan punters guessed it might reveal a plot point where Ultron creates a ginormous robot from all his drones…thankfully, Joss Whedon didn’t go where so many other robot based movies have gone before. It doesn't look like much but a jumble of parts, unless filmed in isolation.

 

-4 cm (2 inch) LEGO Ultron Mini-Fig that belongs to the 2015 LEGO Hulkbuster Smash playset, #76031. This naughty little spud can be attached to the pivoting flying rig arm in the playset, or you can use him as a target for the projectiles from the Hulk Buster suit. You can rotate the head to give two ranges of evil electronic emotions….

 

The Rest Of The Robots

 

Literally a mixed bag straight from the robots and cyborgs toy box….Ultron preaching to the subverted, there. Essentially I selected them on the basis of them being grey, black or silverish in colour.

 

-There's a quick New Battlestar Galactica Cylon knocked out in Super Sculpey that I needed for a Chrissy themed shoot, where I had its toasty torso peeking out evilly from behind a blood smeared bauble.

 

-One of the larger Hulkbusters is clutching some of the tentacles from a bootleg Doctor Octopus figure. I don’t know what happened to poor Octavius himself!

 

-A disembodied mecha arm belongs to a 1989 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Krang ‘Walker Exoframe’. I seem to recall legendary Star Trek fan, Bjo Trimble, gifting that to me at a convention back in the ‘90s.

 

-Speaking of TMNT, there are two shark jawed Baxter Stockman Mouser robots trying to bite through Hulkbuster armour. They came with the 2003 Playmates April O’Neil figure and are wickedly cool, with their big, spring loaded chompy jaws!

 

-Upended in the aftermath is a 10 cm (3.75 inch) Davros, Doctor Who villain supreme, in his distinctive Dalek travel machine. It’s actually a 2014 Christmas ornament…how remarkably festive!

 

-16 cms (6.25 inches) from his footpads to the tip of his antenna, lies a 2000 robot Bender, from Futurama. I’m not sure if he got caught up in the battle or whether he happened to be merely passed out there before the stoush. Neat figure, by the way, as he’s very…well, bendy, and his torso door opens to reveal either stacks of cash or intoxicating cans of motor oil. It came with a nifty Suicide Booth stand ’n all.

 

-Marvel build-a-figure waves will often leave you with extra bits n’ bobs if you don’t collect all the figures. Somewhere in the ruination is the double gatling gun arm from a Mandroid Build-A-Figure wave..

 

-2014 Captain America:Winter Soldier. Poor, brainwashed Bucky! Twice subverted!

 

-Some genuine Iron Man enemies here. 2009 5.5 cm (2 inch) Super Hero Squad Hasbro Iron Man 2 movie tie-in Hammeroids…er, Hammerdroids! The green drone comes from the Final Battle 3-Pack, and the silver and grey drone is from the Hi-Tech Showdown set. They didn’t fare well against Iron Man and War Machine in the film, so I wouldn’t give them a rat’s against a dozen Hulkbusters.

 

-Another Whovian reference, this time a 2006 15 cm (6 inch) New Doctor Who Cyberman. "Delete THIS!"

 

-There’s a 3 cm (1 inch) LEGO Ultron figure being held by the Lego Hulkbuster. Both do come from the 2015 LEGO Marvel Super Heroes Hulk Buster Smash set.

 

-A 10 cm (4 inch) Iron Giant figure spun off from the 1999 animated movie based on Ted Hughe's 1968 novel, The Iron Man. This one was a giveaway with the VHS video tape release.

 

-2008 Hasbro 15 cm (6 inch) Titanium Man. Again, an actual traditional Iron Man enemy, though this is a tie-in with the original Iron Man movie, albeit of a character who never appeared in it. Really an aftermarket ‘target-of-opportunity’ piece.

 

-Star Trek time, with a 12 cm (5 inch), 1992 Playmates Borg drone. “Assimilate THIS!!”

 

-More Iron Mongery. There’s a wee 2008 Hasbro Super Hero Squad Iron Monger, inexplicably painted in Iron Man gold, which vaguely echoes Tony Stark’s original comic book first armour being that colour after his initial outings in the grey Model I suit. This one came from the Iron Monger Attacks battle pack.

 

-Some cyborg action in the form of a 12 cm (5 inch) Robocop 1988 Kenner movie tie-in figure. I’d forgotten this little fella has a cap firing mechanism built into his back! (That's 'cap, not 'Cap'! No worries Mr Rogers.)

 

-Okay, there’s a certain resemblance between Skynet and Ultron (Marvel got there way first, of course) so it made sense to throw in a Terminator endoskeleton or two. The 10 cm (4 inch) ( flesh-free one comes from 2009, so I’m sure it’s a tie-in for the Terminator: Salvation movie. Quite impressively detailed for something so small, actually.

 

-Doctor Who again. 2014 Character Options Wave 4 Skovox Blitzer….isn’t that a great name! It’s a four legged alien war robot that the 12th Doctor, played by Peter Capaldi, encountered and defeated in the Doctor Who episode, The Caretaker.

 

-I threw in another Terminator, this ‘time’ (see what I did there?) a 2009 13 cm (6 inch) Playmate, with a bit more synthetic skin on it. Again, another movie tie-in.

 

-One last Marvel toy. A 2011 13 cm (6 inch) Hasbro Destroyer, fresh from Asgard and the first Thor movie. A red L.E.D lights up its chest when you press its tummy. As you would.

 

-Finally, I included a Kenner 1998 10 cm (4 inch) Darth Vader. Ancient religious sorcerer's ways vs Starktech, lightsaber vs repulsor ray. Stark Wars for the win.

 

LOL. All this and it’s “Part One”? Sure! See, I set out a long time ago to do this photo-folksong with the idea that I’d be incorporating Hot Toy’s invincible Hulkbuster toy, which was announced in 2014. Several years later, I’m still waiting for what will undoubtedly be the greatest action figure ever made…when it’s shipped! (First quarter of 2018, reportedly!) Meanwhile, here’s “Part One”. There's an upgraded Veronica in Avengers: Infinity War. Hot Toys, don't you DARE to delay just to retool to add variant components to the Hulkbuster!

 

Doubtless, wee Whedon will learn much from this dress rehearsal, and will incorporate fresh insights into the eventual re-shoot!

 

 

 

 

 

Done