‘Surviving The Storm’
I already said goodbye.
Two weeks ago my Father passed away from dementia, today was his funeral, I chose to not attend, as we have been estranged for 32 years. Myself and my siblings had a very traumatic childhood because of this man, he was abusive to us all, including my Mum, and we were shown very little love from both parents due to the way he had conditioned her. We spent a large part of our childhood visiting my Mum in a mental hospital, and my older brother pretty much brought us up. I walked away from my Father when my Mum finally divorced him when I was 18. Trying to be a part of his life was too painful, he didn’t seem to care about us. To others he was a wonderful man and would do anything for anyone, but never his own family, a wife and 5 children. I grew up being told I was thick, which did nothing for my self esteem and affected my adult life hugely.
I have been in two minds as to whether to post about this on here for the last two weeks, I am not grieving him, I am grieving for my lost childhood. I have set this to disable the comments, as I am just putting this here so I have a record of it on my blog, and need to move on from this after today, and I don’t want anyone to feel sorry as I am ok, just a very surreal time, and the end of an era, after losing my Mum to cancer in November 2020.
Today we went to Butterfly world as a distraction, and also because it was too cold and wet to shoot outdoors. We had a lovely day.
The crocuses were taken in our garden a few days ago during the cold snap. They survived the storm, and they continue to bloom. ❤️
Much love to you all, dear Flickr friends.
‘Surviving The Storm’
I already said goodbye.
Two weeks ago my Father passed away from dementia, today was his funeral, I chose to not attend, as we have been estranged for 32 years. Myself and my siblings had a very traumatic childhood because of this man, he was abusive to us all, including my Mum, and we were shown very little love from both parents due to the way he had conditioned her. We spent a large part of our childhood visiting my Mum in a mental hospital, and my older brother pretty much brought us up. I walked away from my Father when my Mum finally divorced him when I was 18. Trying to be a part of his life was too painful, he didn’t seem to care about us. To others he was a wonderful man and would do anything for anyone, but never his own family, a wife and 5 children. I grew up being told I was thick, which did nothing for my self esteem and affected my adult life hugely.
I have been in two minds as to whether to post about this on here for the last two weeks, I am not grieving him, I am grieving for my lost childhood. I have set this to disable the comments, as I am just putting this here so I have a record of it on my blog, and need to move on from this after today, and I don’t want anyone to feel sorry as I am ok, just a very surreal time, and the end of an era, after losing my Mum to cancer in November 2020.
Today we went to Butterfly world as a distraction, and also because it was too cold and wet to shoot outdoors. We had a lovely day.
The crocuses were taken in our garden a few days ago during the cold snap. They survived the storm, and they continue to bloom. ❤️
Much love to you all, dear Flickr friends.