(k) The 55 movies I saw for the first time in 2020 :)

21-Feb-2020: 1. The crow

 

7-Mar-2020: 2. The last forever woman

Short film.

 

21-Mar-2020: 3. Mission: Impossible - Fallout

I quickly lost track of the plot (in which everyone tricks each other all the fucking time), but I was really only watching the movie for the Pulpit Rock scene anyway. :B I'VE BEEN THERE!

 

22-Mar-2020: 4. The odyssey (a.k.a. L'odyssée)

 

27-Mar-2020: 5. The Wolf of Wall Street

Jordan: "… I also gamble like a degenerate, I drink like a fish, I fuck hookers maybe 5-6 times a week. I have three different federal agencies looking to indict me. Oh yeah, and I love drugs. Yup, on a daily basis I consume enough drugs to sedate Manhattan, Long Island, and Queens for a month. I take Quaaludes 10-15 times a day for my 'back pain', Adderall to stay focused, Xanax to take the edge off, pot to mellow me out, cocaine to wake me back up again, and morphine, well, because it's awesome. But of all the drugs under God's blue heaven, there is one that is my absolute favorite. See, enough of this shit will make you invincible. Able to conquer the world and eviscerate your enemies." *snorts coke* "And I'm not talking about this... I'm talking about this." *holds up $100*

 

Jordan: "People say shit... I mean like, you married your cousin or some stupid shit. No?"

Donnie: "Yeah, my wife, yeah. My wife is my cousin or whatever, but it's not, like, what you think."

Jordan: "Is she, like, a first cousin, or is she…?"

Donnie: "Her… her father is the brother of my mom. Like, we grew up together, and she grew up hot, you know, she fucking grew up hot. And all my friends are trying to fuck her, you know, and I'm not gonna let one of these assholes fuck my cousin. So I used the cousin thing, as, like, an in with her. I'm not, like, gonna let someone else fuck my cousin, you know? If anyone's gonna fuck my cousin, it's gonna be me. Out of respect, you know."

 

28-Mar-2020: 6. Contagion

Apparently this became hugely popular because of corona... :B But I had actually eyed the DVD in a sales bin years earlier. *mumble* becausejudelaw. *mumble* In other news, I spent the entire movie assuming that Matt Damon was Mark Wahlberg. o_O

 

3-Apr-2020: 7. Bridesmaids

The food poisoning in the bridal gown shop was one of the funniest scenes. And convos such as:

 

Teenage customer in jewelry shop: "You're weird."

Annie: "I'm not weird. OK?"

Customer: "Yes, you are."

Annie: "No, I'm not! And you started it."

Customer: "No, you started it! Did you forget to take your Xanax this morning?"

Annie: "Oh, I feel bad for your parents."

Customer: "I feel bad for your face."

Annie: "OK... Well, call me when your boobs come in."

Customer: "You call me when yours come in."

Annie: "What do you have, four boyfriends?"

Customer: "Exactly."

Annie: "OK... Yeah, have fun having a baby at your prom."

Customer: "You look like an old mop."

Annie: "You know, you're not as popular as you think you are."

Customer: "I am very popular."

Annie: "Oh, I'm sure you are... very... popular." *mimics fellatio*

Customer: "Well, you're an old, single loser who's never going to have any friends."

Annie: "YOU'RE A LITTLE CUNT!"

Entire shop: *turns and stares*

 

Lillian: "You have managed to ruin every event in my wedding, thank you very much!"

Annie: "OK, well, thank YOU very much! It's all her fault, it is not mine! And you would know that if you got your beautiful-haired head out of your asshole. In fact, out of HER asshole, which I'm sure is perfectly bleached!"

Lillian: "You know what? It is! And you know how I know? Because I went to the fucking salon with her, and I got my asshole bleached, too! AND I LOVE MY NEW ASSHOLE!"

 

(And the love interest ate the cake after the raccoons had been at it so now he may have rabies and he kisses the heroine and infects her too)

 

4-Apr-2020: 8. Angus, thongs and perfect snogging

 

6-Apr-2020: 9. The emperor's new groove

 

10-Apr-2020: 10. Aniara

Lifehack: When you barf up your booze, barf in a plastic crate so that you can dip your glass into it and re-use the booze

 

11-Apr-2020: 11. Mortal engines

 

16-Apr-2020: 12. Coco

 

17-Apr-2020: 13. Fantastic beasts: The crimes of Grindelwald

 

25-Apr-2020: 14. Abortion: Stories women tell

Fave! Docu. A fucking IUD costs $800 in the US?! Mine cost €110, insertion included... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. And one of the abortions in the docu cost $525. AFAIK, it would be about €20 here. I wish I'd had one. Then I would namedrop it constantly and be shamefree, to support people getting abortions and to annoy anti-abortionists. WELL, I suppose the next best thing I can do is get one of those "ABORTION SENDS BABIES TO GOD FASTER" shirts. :D

 

26-Apr-2020: 15. Outside the bubble: On the road with Alexandra Pelosi

Docu.

 

27-Apr-2020: 16. Alternate endings: Six new ways to die in America

Fave! Docu. The 6 ways described are memorial reefs, living wakes, green burials, space burials, medical aid in dying (YES PLEASE), and celebrations of life.

 

30-Apr-2020: 17. Still Alice

 

1-May-2020: 18. Stuart: A life backwards

 

2-May-2020: 19. You don't know Jack

Biopic about Dr. Jack Kevorkian, who helped people euthanize themselves. :)

 

Jack: "It's emotionalism. You know, when heart transplants first started... there was the same prevalent feeling, I mean, even among doctors... that it was wrong, it was contrary to God's will, contrary to nature. Isn't it ghoulish to rip a person's chest open and take out a heart? Or a bypass operation? Ether is the same thing. You have ether, been around for centuries, it wasn't used. Not till 1846. It was discovered in 1543... and before that, everybody was being operated on while they were awake. Surgeons were cutting them open while they were awake. ... And you know why it was banned? Because of religious dogma. Because of the foolish notion... that there's a God Almighty who wills us to suffer."

 

3-May-2020: 20. The number on great-grandpa's arm

Short docu.

 

4-May-2020: 21. What happened on September 11

Short docu. FTR, the kid who says "The world I'm growing up in is more dangerous than the one my parents grew up in!!!!111!!!!!1" is wrong, and the risk of being killed by terrorists is negligible. *throws steven pinker books at you*

 

5-May-2020: 22. Share

 

6-May-2020: 23. Dirty war

WELL, corona >>>>>>>>>>>>>> nukes!

 

9-May-2020: 24. And then we danced

 

22-May-2020: 25. The Golden Glove (a.k.a. Der Goldene Handschuh)

Black German comedy :B or... something... o_O Its Swedish title translates (simply and aptly) to "The vile Herr Honka". And it's hilarious that the main actor looks like some kind of model IRL. xD

 

23-May-2020: 26. Linas kvällsbok (a.k.a. Bitter sweetheart)

 

24-May-2020: 27. Mid90s

Scored by Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross! "The start of things" is a beautiful piece. ^_^

 

25-May-2020: 28. Precious

 

26-May-2020: 29. John Wick

When mob boy murders ur puppy and u go apeshit and slaughter 77 people in ur quest for revenge. I approve of this. :D Also, the music is cool, and this John Wick pitch meeting is hilarious. xD

 

27-May-2020: 30. Hard candy

MY NERVES o_O

(The take-home message is that you have to tie your pedos up real good)

 

28-May-2020: 31. Intermission

 

29-May-2020: 32. Justice League

 

30-May-2020: 33. I went down

 

8-Jun-2020: 34. Togo

Fave! D'x Charismatic doggos and exceptional cinematography! I half expected it to be some 100% vanilla Disney shit trying and failing to be "The call of the wild". :p Various fun facts:

 

- The canine actor is a descendant of the real Togo, 14 generations on or something!

- And he's named Diesel… So is my coworker's dog. :B *rrrrrreeeeeeach*

- The movie is set in Alaska, but was apparently filmed in Alberta – only the most beautiful place on earth. ^_^

- I watched the movie because of Michael McElhatton, who plays some Norwegian guy named Jafet Lindeberg, whose dad was from Norrbotten, Sweden… And… my dad is from Norrbotten too! :O It's a rather small and sparsely populated region... JUST SAYIN'! *brainsplode*

 

Bonus points because the fur clothes looked fake. :D

 

10-Jun-2020: 35. The siege of Jadotville

 

14-Jun-2020: 36. The immortal life of Henrietta Lacks

 

21-Jun-2020: 37. Inside Llewyn Davis

 

28-Jun-2020: 38. Dallas Buyers Club

 

5-Jul-2020: 39. The strange history of don't ask, don't tell

Fave! Docu.

 

12-Jul-2020: 40. Chocolat (2016)

 

25-Jul-2020: 41. Brexit: The uncivil war

 

9-Aug-2020: 42. A hidden life

Based on a true story. I watched it over 2 evenings, as it was long. But it turned out that the day I started watching it was the anniversary of the hero's execution! :O

 

2-Sep-2020: 43. Sex and the city: The movie

I had just finished watching the TV show in its entirety for the first time. FTR, Samantha is my fave character. xD

 

5-Sep-2020: 44. Sex and the city 2

 

11-Sep-2020: 45. After truth: Disinformation and the cost of fake news

Fave! Docu.

 

Journalist Kara Swisher: "White men – younger – run Silicon Valley. If you don't ever feel unsafe in your life, you do not understand lack of safety. You do not build that in. I had someone at Twitter talk to me about… They'd gotten attacked online. First time it happened. And they were like 'Oh, that was pretty bad.' And I'm like 'Welcome to the world of women. Welcome to the world of people of colour. Welcome to the world of marginalized people.' This is what it's like every day. If you could think of a really awful thing that could happen with your product, you need to figure out ways that it doesn't have as much damage. They have not spent enough time doing that."

 

Mark Zuckerberg: "The principles that we have on what we remove from the service are… If it's going to result in in harm – real physical harm – or if you're attacking individuals, then that content shouldn't be on the platform. But then there is broad debate, and –"

Kara Swisher: "OK… 'Sandy Hook didn't happen' is not a debate. It is false. You can't just take that down?"

Zuckerberg: "I agree that it is false. But overall, I mean, let's take this a little closer to home, right. So, I'm Jewish, and there's a set of people who deny that the Holocaust happened, right? I find that deeply offensive. But I don't believe that our platform should take that down, because I think that there are things that different people get wrong. Either… I don't think that they're intentionally getting it wrong, but I think that they –"

Swisher: "In the case of the Holocaust deniers, they might be, but go ahead."

Zuckerberg: "Um –"

Swisher, post-interview: "'Holocaust deniers don't mean to lie.' And I was like, 'But they do.' So that, to me, was sort of like, 'Oh, you're not even sophisticated enough to understand that they mean to lie, that's the whole point.' If someone who is running the biggest communication system in the history of the world – someone who cannot be fired, someone who has complete control over that system – does not understand what he just said, it's… It really struck me as… It was a big uh-oh moment for me. The implication that they aren't malevolent. He knows they're malevolent. Come on. You can take them off. Like, it's OK. He's gonna get flak for it, but he gets paid the big bucks, right?"

 

PS. I don't think I'd ever heard the real Zuckerberg speak before, but listening to the voiceover in the docu, I pretty much recognized his way of speaking… from "The social network" movie. :B

 

12-Sep-2020: 46. Handsome devil

It was like a mashup between "Dead Poets' Society", "Fucking Åmål", and "Bend it like Beckham".

 

4-Oct-2020: 47. De kallar oss mods (a.k.a. They call us misfits)

Ancient Swedish docu.

 

28-Oct-2020: 48. Joker

 

31-Oct-2020: 49. Spin the bottle

Fave!

 

20-Nov-2020: 50. Brassed off

Whew. That was some intense coal-hugging. o_O

It was a bit like "The full monty", but with a brass band instead of a strip group.

And a bit like "Blow dry", which was also a Yorkshire movie about a competition in an obscure discipline.

And a bit like "Gentleman Jack", in that the heroes thought coal pits were the best shit ever. :B

Er. I'll stahp now.

But anyway:

 

Gloria: "Do you want to come up for a coffee?"

Andy: "I don't drink coffee."

Gloria: "I haven't got any."

 

Someone: "Coal is history, Miss Mullins."

Ratexla: "He's right, you know." *sips tea* ^_^

 

4-Dec-2020: 51. Blackout

 

11-Dec-2020: 52. The Darkling

 

24-Dec-2020: 53. Borat subsequent moviefilm

Fave! xD

 

27-Dec-2020: 54. The Christmas stallion

I facepalmed repeatedly

 

31-Dec-2020: 55. The actors

 

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Vegan FAQ! :)

 

The Web Site the Meat Industry Doesn't Want You to See.

 

Please watch Earthlings.

Done