Day 1885 - Day 59
I have struggled with understanding, especially in the last couple years since I received my promotion. I struggle more so not in my understanding of things or of others, but in getting others to understand me and my world. It’s hard to explain why I work the hours I do and to get others to understand why yes, it is very difficult in my day to find time just to go to the bathroom or find a minute to eat something. One of my supervisors asked me the other day, “Do you eat? I never see you eat.” I just smiled on the outside and said “Of course I eat, can’t you tell??” but when the laugh faded, inside I was crumbling…
Sure, there’s the psychological side that says “Maybe that’s the way I want my life to be. I built my life to be this way on purpose for _______ reason….”, but I don’t quite buy that. No- correction: I don’t buy that whatsoever.
I wish I had a better means to bring understanding of my world and of my mind to those close to me: what I am going through, what my world is like, what millions of thoughts race through my mind. I wish I had the time to explain, be transparent, and be understood. But I have the feeling I will be chasing that elusive understanding for some time…
Theme: Musings And Ramblings
Year Six Of My 365 Project
Day 1885 - Day 59
I have struggled with understanding, especially in the last couple years since I received my promotion. I struggle more so not in my understanding of things or of others, but in getting others to understand me and my world. It’s hard to explain why I work the hours I do and to get others to understand why yes, it is very difficult in my day to find time just to go to the bathroom or find a minute to eat something. One of my supervisors asked me the other day, “Do you eat? I never see you eat.” I just smiled on the outside and said “Of course I eat, can’t you tell??” but when the laugh faded, inside I was crumbling…
Sure, there’s the psychological side that says “Maybe that’s the way I want my life to be. I built my life to be this way on purpose for _______ reason….”, but I don’t quite buy that. No- correction: I don’t buy that whatsoever.
I wish I had a better means to bring understanding of my world and of my mind to those close to me: what I am going through, what my world is like, what millions of thoughts race through my mind. I wish I had the time to explain, be transparent, and be understood. But I have the feeling I will be chasing that elusive understanding for some time…
Theme: Musings And Ramblings
Year Six Of My 365 Project