Hugger Mugger

Hugger Mugger

 

Apologies in advance to anyone who peruses this and comes away with thinking that it reads like the plot of yet another badly directed flick. Real life can appear to be played out that way in the sometimes!

 

That bit being said...

 

Unescapable Boredom has always been a trigger for some of my most peevish muses, and sometimes that has landed me in quite hot water !

 

And whilst dwelling in my Unescapable boredom on this particular evening….

 

I had noticed the youth, a typical 13 year old male, with typical, shall we say yearnings, scampering happily about at the reception hall which was our lot to be in on that late night.

 

And this particular lad’s activities were quite interesting from my admittedly cynical standing point of observation...

 

But first, please allow me to explain one’s self and reason for being in that posh venu .

 

I was one of several fellow professors at the university whom had been invited to the son of a female colleague’s nuptials ( in other wards, no close relationship to the groom, whom I only had bloody met, once... can anyone say free gift for the gits?!).

 

He was marrying a rather affluent young Lass he had hitched up with from Wrexham way, and it was in that city, several hours away, that the couple decided to tie the knot, dragging his family, and us I might add, all along with him to travel there.

 

Now Wrexham is a nice enough place to visit, but preferring not to waste the whole weekend away from the stone cottage ,its quiet gardens, me pipe, and a snifter of fine old brandy, I had only booked in for an overnighter...

 

 

So it twas, that on an early, misting Saturday Morn, our entourage left for the long trog to make it in time for the noon wedding.

 

We arrived in the city of Wrexham with twenty minutes to spare, and began our pleasant wind along the old Girl’s nostalgic neighborhoods.

 

There are quite a few fine old churches in Wrexham, and the one where the nuptual ceremonies was to be held was, in my personal opinion, the finest.

 

The wedding was upscale smashing, starting with the rather gothic Blackstone church decorated like it was a set up for some fancy magazine photo shoot for an even more posh magazine.

 

The bride, once she made her appearance, continued on with the opulence, wearing a high priced designers rhinestone decked, white satin number, while the girls in her bridal wore matching rhinestoned inlayed gowns by the same designer, all formed fit in flowy blood red satin, ‘cept the maid of honour, a stunning red head whose matching gown was of a bewitching midnight black! The groomsmen wore jet black tuxes, the groom wore a white tux and tails, looking like Fred Astaire complete with top hat and cane( but sans rhinestones ) … and indeed there was a bit of a movie like ambiance hanging over the whole affaire!

 

The reception venue was held at a fancy hall that had been repurposed from an old eel tinning factory. A most interesting venue, with no taint of its former occupant. And with all its most opulent trappings, looked like a stark continuation of the posh photo shoot from the church , set up in an alleyway like ambiance!

 

So I guess the affair overall was a nice enough bit of eye candy for those of us “privileged” enough to be invited. I must add, I personally did not feel privileged, but judging by the openly blurted remarks of a gaggling trio of someone’s elderly maiden aunties( not mine thank Lord) we all were supposed to feel that way for being there!

 

Privileged was not a verb I was going to choose!

 

Especially seeing that only 4 of us from the group invited from the university made the trip ( the others successfully coming up with valid excuses, the lucky prigs!) I was feeling more of being on an isolated island in the stream of gaily dressed guests!

 

So outside us four, and the bride’s parents, we were complete strangers to everyone else. Including the son of my colleague, the groom, whom I had only met once on a golf outing some few years back. And pretty much the four of us found ourselves alone and ignored… !!

 

Then as the evening wore on, there was no pretty much about it,being stranded alone I dare say!

 

For I found myself completely alone! Due to two of our group taking early leave ( The devils decided not to spend the night) and the fourth had taken up with a young man she had met ( I would say cougar if I was not a proper gentleman and actually rather fond of the lass meself!) ….

 

So I was sitting there, at an empty table, and soon the boredom began it’s subtle creeping..

 

I had not been guiling enough to plan a quick excuse to exit, nor so lucky to find someone dance with , so I made my way off the island and waded over to the bar and took up a solitary vigil on a padded stool. The watered down drinks were free, so after about 5 old fashions I was feeling pretty good actually, but even though I was enjoying meself in that aspect, I was still a wee bit bored, and therefore started peevishly musing…

 

And it was during my boredom tinged thoughts when I again caught sight of the lad…

 

I of course had seen him earlier when we first arrived and was busy getting drinks for my group from the bar. His mother was the satin gowned maid of honour to her bride sister, and he had been latched onto her at the waist of her midnight black bridesmaid’s attire , hanging on joyfully as she was in conversation with the best man.

 

I soon found out that the lad’s Maid of Honour mother was single. But though very pretty, she was no older than some of my students !

 

But at that time my attention was pulled away anyways’ by a plate of Hors d'oeuvre’s being passed around and as I ate and mingled with my colleagues, I continued to watch the lad and his antics from the corner of my eye.

 

Then dinner was announced, and as We made way to our seating, the lad totally escaped my mind… till now..

 

And now, here I was, observing the lad’s promiscuous antics again

 

Taking sips of my current old fashion, I had been watching with mesmerized interest, the Bride’s Mother. She was a rather attractive lady, young for her age, who was wearing a rather fetching gown of sleek blue ruffling satin that flowed jauntily along her figure, swishing and swaying in a most delightful manner.

She was wearing a rather pricey ensemble of fine jewelery, including a short gold herringbone necklace set with a large fiery diamond at its’ centre, flanked by four glittery smaller stones. I found the whole package enticing enough that I was pondering over the dos or don’ts of asking for a dance...for she appeared not to be attached to any male courtesan.

 

It was as I was watching that I again saw the thirteen year old lad, sneaking up from behind a table and hug his grandmother, who leaned down to reciprocate...( the lady was petitely short, so she didn’t have far to bend) the diamonds in her swaying necklace rippling with pinpricks of expensive fire!

 

So he was still at it I thought…

 

Now, when I had seen him darting about earlier, while hor d'oeuvres were being served after finally being shaken loose by his mother, he had preformed this hugging antic on his and his grandmother several times, and once each on his Bride Aunt and Maid of Honour Mother!

 

Now this lad was also obviously across the threshold of young puberty: as was witnessed by his actions, in the way he was sneaking up and giving those graspy hugs of his, the fingers digging into the shiny satiny gown of his targeted female.

 

They all though it cute enough, especially the gullible Grandmother, who thought it was “precious” and just laughed, and squealed happily, “look another drive by hugging”, or “thanks for the hug honey, it was needed”, encouraging to no end the youth to keep his voyeuristic advances up, for he attempted this several more times as I stood watching from the sidelines … Though his Grandmother was the only female not to fend off repeated attempts!

 

But, and damn me own eyes, I had noticed that far more was going on than just a bit of runaway hugging !! The little miscreant was also Copping a feel!

 

The Lads arms, as he hugged his grandmother’s warm figure before running off, were noticeably brushing just under her perk breasts, molded nicely by the tight fitted ‘mother of the bride” gown she was attired in.

 

I also knew that , along with copping a feel, he was had also enjoying the tingling sensation from the slick satin material of the long, swishing gown the rather youngish ,stylish grandmother was wearing…

 

Perhaps I was jealous ?

 

It was as I watched him repeat this performance again and again , that my mind was taken off asking anyone to dance, and my attention started to follow the lad to see what he was all on about, to confirm my hypothesis if you will.

 

I soon saw that he was now turning his attentions upon a different source for his promiscuous behavior.

 

The youngest of the bridesmaids by far was the 15 year old sister of the bride. A rather immature teenager at that. Looking like some Disney princess in her red satin gown and rhinestone necklace and earrings that matched that of the rest of her fellow, though much older, lady bridesmaids. But she certainly was not acting like a proper princess as she now whisked about playing at cops and robbers with my 13 year old mischievous lad.

 

Said Lad, whose fingers were doing more touching than just tagging the fancy dress of his fetchingly attired playmate.

 

So, ordering yet a another old fashion( my seventh for those keeping tabs), I watched the pair, Not really being a voyeur in my defense, for my professional interest does lay in the realm of the study of human nature, though as a criminologist this was a thin argument at best for applying it to the situation today..

 

Soon the girl was pulled away to join the bridal party whom had started swishing about on the dance floor, and the lad, looking glumly on, and with all his “victims” out of reach on said dance floor, eventually headed off, and the direction he took was going to lead him straight past me I perkily noticed

 

I looked up over the top of his head to the dance floor, rather envious that I was not able to participate!

 

I spied the young 15 year old bridesmaid dancing, she seemed to be enjoying herself. I also caught site of her necklace as it was caught up in the lights, it glittered , sparkling madly in the dim lights, as were the rhinestones on her dress. I looked around, all the bridesmaids opulent rhinestones were sparkling. The Grandmother was also sparkling about on the floor, dancing with some spiff in a tailored suit!

 

Despite of my misery at being there, I felt something stirring up inside of me.

 

Not surprisingly ( to me) a rather mischievous thought came into my head propelled by a combination of the resplendent bridesmaids dancing on the floor, the attractive glittering of rhinestones, the approaching lad, and the fact that I was really quite blasé about the whole affair ,being stuck there and all! Of course, I was probably a wee bit more drunk than sober by that period in time...

 

My thought was in the direction of doing a quick, possibly amusing study, on channeling this approaching Lads spirited passions by broadening his horizons! In simple terms, Tune the lad in on expanding his conquests through an adults apparent permission, then turn him loose to give “drive by hugging’s” amongst the flock of dressed up bridesmaids may be most amusing... Like an amorous puppy scurrying in amongst a group of shiny feathered clucking chickens!

 

So while I eyed the approaching lad, I nonchalantly put my hand into a jacket pocket fumbling for a selection of ever present coins.

 

Now my Grandfather had been a magician of sorts, and I had been weaned on watching his slight of hand tricks with coins. As a young man I had leaned a few of them meself, ( as a way to meet the fairer sex of course) as well as a slew of card tricks, and always had a few props with me.

 

So as the lad sauntered by me, I caught his attention by dropping a penny. He obligingly retrieved it for me, and as he handed it back, I turned down my wrist, then took my hand to his ear appearing to change the penny into a twenty pee piece… Which I handed the coin to the amazed lad for keeps. Thereby also gaining his full and undivided attention.

 

“Want to see another?” I asked, and he shook his head eagerly. I pulled out a deck of cards, and had him ruffle them up a bit. Talking it up him as I did.

 

The simple card trick would allow me to banter and stoke the id of his sexually driven impulses whilst the ego thoughts in the lad’s head where following the cards. With my intents to stocking up the super.

 

The first trick was an easy one that had him picking his own card from a group laid out on the bar. It was as I went through the motions, and watching his focus on the cards, I mentioned his Grandmother asking if he thought she looked pretty. I knew I was firing up the lad, and after I set him loose, planned on watching him take off like an exploding rocket to give her another hug before he started branching out.

 

 

I than showed him a second trick. Talking about hugging and how all girls liked to received them...like his grandmother,……. like the girls in the red gowns I added after a dramatic pause for effect. I saw his eyes quickly dart over to the dance floor, than quickly back at the cards as I finished up my trick

 

By then the bridal party , blissfully unawares that they were being primed for a series of hugs, was leaving the floor and I saw that the young brides maid was standing off to the side watching the departing dancers…..

 

And that gave my inspiration a new course totally...

 

I knew I lit a fire in the back of his mind about dancing, hugging, and such! So I went a step further, mentioning how wonderful it was dancing, almost like a long continuous hug. I could tell by the way he stiffened that my words were quite well received by this promiscuous lad.

 

He quite obviously was “rising” to the bait, and appeared more than eager to listen to me. I turned him around and pointed out the young brides maid, suggesting he should dance with the lass…

 

Like a puppet on my string , he obediently went off and I watched as he approached the lass, and talking to her, she took control and led him off to the dance floor.

 

The pair did make a cute couple and it was rather entertaining to watch the two of them acting like young adults. She was by far more graceful at it, but in her partners boyish fumbling’s, I noticed a rather strategic placing of his hands and chest that could not have been mere accidental. At one point she reached around and moved his latched hand from around her waist to a less compressing spot on her upper back.

 

All in all it was a quite satisfying observation of young hormones in action, and I was quite satisfied thus far with the results of my “experiment” when the dance ended. I fully expected him to toddle off to find his Grandmother, or Mother to do a bit of “Drive by Hugging” and having quite enough of that to fill my day, rose to bid my adieu and congratulations to the happy couple before heading out into the wilderness outside to find a friendly pub.

 

So I was both rather shocked, and a little bemused, when as the dance ended the lad came back towards me, dragging along his pretty partner like some panting puppy with a bone. ( and yes, there was a very good reason for thinking up that analogy, but please get your mind from that gutter)!

 

He wanted me to show her a trick…. And how could I resist, as they both looked up at me all wide eyed and expecting me to work some miracles !

 

I smiled at her, her eyes large with excitement, glittery like her long earrings swaying freely from her ears, bouncing off her cherubs cheeks.

 

I reached again into my pockets, and pulled out a penny. I took up the lass’s gloved hand and appeared to place the penny onto her palm, curling her fingers over it before she could have a proper look. I told her to hold it tight now. And as she did, she looked down upon it, her free hand plying with the shimmering rhinestones of her necklace. As all sets of eyes were glued on the clenched hand,except my own, I was idly looking the necklace over, and noticed that chain of her necklace was clasped around her throat by a simple hook in eye, but at the time did not think it of any significance to it.

 

I said something about needing a wand, and reaching back, pulled the straw from my drink. They both giggled at my impromptu choice, as I took the straw and tapped it on the back of her hand holding the “Penny” I told her to open her hand and she did, both gasping that the “penny” had turned into a shiny fifty pence piece. I told her to keep it, her face beaming .

 

“Here miss,” I said, “let me see that hand again?” She gave it to me and as I pulled two more pennies from my pocket.

I Laid the penny on the backside of her hand and had the lad hold open his palm under neath, after apparently placing a penny into it also. I than brushed my hand along the young Miss’s making the penny vanish.

 

I told them to look in the boys hand ,had him open his fingers and there was not a penny, but another fifty pence coin, which I let the lad keep as they both gasped over the magical transformation!

 

The pair were quite keen for more after that, so I began to show them some tricks with playing cards, keeping them both spellbound. It was passing the dreary time by I will admit, having a chance to amaze the young urchin and the princess with my simple tricks!

 

But the opportunity to be excited by my tricks led to other things, and the girl took her leave shyly and headed off hurriedly to the loo in a swishing of her long gown.

 

As I watched her scamper off, I again eyed the lad, who also seemed keen on also scampering off after her.

 

The little hugger mugger I thought as he made to dart away. But in that second , with those words in me head, I had a most epiphany like flash of brilliance( at least to me) inspired by that thought as it travelled down an avenue of my mind that had caused me to take note of how loosely a rhinestone necklace was being held up around the departing young lass’s neck and at the same instant I saw the girls prying the lad’s hand from her waist and placing it just under….. said necklace’s clasp !

 

It all put me in mind of a trick I had once heard of performed by magician Harry Kellar....!

 

I quickly grasped the lad by the shoulder before he took flight.

 

“Ere now, how would you like to play a magic trick on the lass yonder?” I asked as I directed his attention to the girl who was just at that second disappearing down the hallway leading to the girls’ loo?

 

He nodded exuberantly!

 

I than conspiratorially explained a slight of hand trick he could help me pull off on his very own.

 

He had rather caught onto the idea as I explained to him in simple terms, making is sound far easier than it would/should be.

 

 

I gave him a gentle push ..” Go get em tiger!” I said with unbridled encouragement.

 

And so, with a rather lustfully smouldering fuse lit, making any additional need of persuasion moot, off he scurried!

 

I watched with growing anticipation as the lad approached the hall way, waiting and eagerly watching.

 

The young bridesmaid ,reappeared, and upon her approach, the laddie moved in behind her, placing a hand on the young bridesmaid’s sleek back, grabbing at her attention, and started talking with a pointed affably.

 

In a few minutes the pair of them were on the wooden dance floor, once again looking exceptionally cute as a couple, as they danced to a rather preferable romantic slow tune whose name has slipped my mind, so focused was I on my mischievous endeavor being carried out !

 

The young darlings mimicked the adults around them, and embraced closely against one another.

 

I looked around, Nor were any of the said adults paying the pair any heed..

 

I had directed him to try and slip off the girl’s necklace as the first part of a trick to play on her. But I was really figuring that he would bumble it and get caught out, which would be an amusing thing to witness...

 

He pulled her in closer, an she fell all in for it… maybe she was experiencing the same female feelings as his partner, for her eyes were also tightly closed. With his partner so engrossed, my lad easily reached over a satin clad shoulder, then moved his fingers to the back of her neck, where he gently pulled at her rhinestone necklaces silver chain and it’s quite easy opening clasp.

 

He fumbled a bit with said clasp, but I saw him peeking over her shoulder for a better look, and he managed to studiously slip out the hook on his second attempt.

 

He then carefully began to pull it up along the front of his dance partners blood red satin gown, then over her shoulders’ sleeve and down her back where it dangled for a few precious seconds

 

As they sparkled away down her back I began to feel a prickling myself as I perked up, this may actually bloody work!!

 

I watch as he then, quite unnoticed, secreted the necklace into a side pocket of his suits’ jacket pocket as I had instructed him to do.

 

 

I released my breath not realizing I had been holding it.. He had gotten away with it, and his prettily dressed partner hadn’t a bloody clue as to what had just transpired with her departing necklace, and no one else had either.

 

They finished the dance, it seemed like an eternity, but it was thrilling to try and catch glimpses of the cousins’ now bare neckline He had pulled off the first part of the trick without being caught out.

 

I had figured he would get his hands caught in the till, which is the show I had been expecting to watch play out on the hapless lad.

 

It would have been amusing in and of itself if he had been caught red handed, but this new game would be almost as fun.

 

Finally they broke apart and he walked off with her. I held my breath again, but he seemed to inherently realize that as part of the “trick”, he didn’t want her suspicions raised by being quick to leave. God bless his natural budding adult male like deviousness!

 

He had done it, but I wasn’t through with him yet. The game, and watching it being played out, had been all far too exciting for me also, and there was the encore to pull off !

 

He brought his innocent victim over , grinning ear to ear.

 

Well done I said to him, as the girl looked at me, a bit confused as to what well done was on about.

 

“Another Trick my lass?”, I asked, and she shook her head happily.

 

I lifted up the girls gloved hand, palm up, and placed a penny onto it, keeping my hand on her palm..

 

I then told the lass to close her eyes, and winked at the lad, who smiled back knowingly, as she obediently did so.

 

I motioned him to hand me the necklace, and he did so. With the quickness of a dip, I lifted the penny and replaced it with her necklace.

 

I took the straw and tapped it along her throat , she giggled at that, than tapped it on her palm, telling her to open her eyes.

 

She did so and the went wide with astonishment as she saw a rhinestone necklace dangling there. Her hand went to her throat, discovering the “cupboard was now bare!”, she gasped as she realized the necklace was her own!

 

I had her hold up the necklace and had the lad reclasp it for her, her eyes wide with the belief of an innocent who thought she was witnessing real magic. She gave me a hug, and I shook the lads hand with a wink before sending them off…a pub somewhere was still calling, and I wanted to go and follow its enticing voice.

 

I thoughtfully watched the young couple whisk of weaving amongst the crowd till they were lost from my sight, my mind half taking in once again the swishing of a most delightful gown as I mulled it all over while watching.

 

That had been easy enough trick, quite well played I thought, like in a movie.

 

My mind drifted onto various movies I had seen, and one in particular jumped out. ( read on and see if at the end you can guess which movie?)

 

As the movie flashed across my mind I looked in the direction the lass had gone, lucky for the young lady her necklace had not been real, for if I was a rogue of that thieving nature like the actor from that movie, well I could have easily rearranged the sequence of things and have walked off pretty as you please with diamonds in me pocket.

 

I chuckled at the thought as it popped itself in me mind , for I had not been thinking anything of the sort as I had orchestrated the trick, and would not have if I hadn’t thought about the movie! Besides, ladies that young never wear the real thing anyways, not unlike actress’s, and .....stylish grandmother’s !

For said Grandmother was once again in my line of vision, her back to me, as she merrily was chatting away with one of the prune face spinster Aunties! I tipped my head in her direction, for it was time to finally, happily , vacate the premises.

 

Then as I rose to leave, my last remaining ( cougar) chum from the original group, joined up with me. her “friend” had deserted her for his school mates. I regained my seat as she took the vacant one next to me, ordered her a drink, and a refill for me..

 

I decided to stay and hold the fort with the lass for a bit before shoving off.

 

We sat and drank for about 15 minutes, and as my chum was chatting away merrily about her conquest that evening. I found my eyes lazily drifting over the dancers out on the floor. It was still quite a show,, a mixture of flowing, colourful evening gowns and flickering jewels contrasted by formal suits and severe black tuxes.

 

Out of the corner of my eye I saw the Brides mother, the young Grandmother, who had managed to squirm her way from the severe Auntie. Her blue gown shimmery under the lights, rings on her fingers dancing with glittery flickers. Amusingly enough she was now dancing with her grandson, the same huggy lad who I had done a bit of magic for, and who had been my most willing accomplice for a trick played out upon the young bride’s maid.

 

I had been watching the pair with causal awareness when “Blimey!” suddenly something I observed forced me to snap out of my reverie and sat straight up in my seat..

 

“What’s up? “my friend asked me with curiosity.

 

“Nothing really” I said, as my eyes confirmed what I had seen was real.

 

Better “eeflay ethay emisespray” was what I was in fact thinking, and the sooner the better my mind added...

 

I turned towards my mate, “you know, I really feel like a proper drink and not this watered down tosh. Lets say we take a stroll towards our hotel and try to find a nice friendly pub on the way?”

 

“Capital “ she said jumping at the chance to leave squeezing my arm,” Ive had it with this scene too lad!”, and as I looked in her eyes I saw her look towards a table off to the side where the young man who had caught and discarded her fancy, was perched with another, younger, lady- one of the bridesmaids.

 

We went to the exit, and as I helped her on with her faux mink wrap I looked over her shoulder for the grandmother and my touchy lad. They were still dancing. And the thorny issue that had me fleeing into the night, was still , well, an issue !! It looked like I was going to just make it out before....

 

My mind was a mass of whirling thoughts as we walked out of the venue an onto the smoggy street. I suggested we continue to walk, I needed the time to clear my head for a proper think...

 

We strolled off, arm in arm ( her idea). I was vaguely aware of my friends fancy party dress whipping along my leg as it fell swaying in the light breeze from beneath her Faux mink. But my churning mind was not properly appreciating the experience, for it twas entirely back at the reception.........

 

And here we have reached the end of Part one ( of two)

 

Done