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goodbye

Looking at really good photography makes me want to quit my job and travel cross country to find an abandoned lush forest where some deer quietly munch shiny grass. I need to uproot everything I'm doing and go find fabulously divine-looking women in alleyways and smoke cigarettes with them. Afterwards, we stroll down to the ocean on bicycles wearing perfectly handmade orange-knitted skirts down to our skinny knees. I witness the waves roll in and roll out, breathe in and breathe out. A good photo makes the world look so bright and luxurious that I am going to explode with red, white and blue confetti; beauty streaming down my cheek in the form of tears. A good photo makes the sun look like it rose just for me, orange sherbet, just so the light trickles onto my lover's green eyes, so I can see his face first.

 

A good photo makes me think I'm doing everything wrong, that I need to never sleep and be a nomad, living off worn couches of people who make me coffee and lend me advice in the morning. I need to drop out of college, because it doesn't matter anyways, and I need to just live my days making bonfires near the blue lake, or bonfires in the middle of the forest, or bonfires in someones backyard (someone who owns a jacuzzi that we utilize during winter, so the steam rises like smoke) (someone who also has a quirky physical characteristic with piercing eyes and stunning wardrobe and godly hair).

 

Photography makes me feel that I need to see live bands every night, mixed with just the right concoction of whiskey, (which just happens to be a little too much), so I laugh and laugh and laugh with other people, and then we walk silently down the city streets and point to things and discuss.

 

A really good photo collection makes me want to redecorate my house. Tear down anything boring and angle things perfectly, so the composition is just right, so everywhere I look my eyes widen with pleasure. So my dog cocks his head in the middle of the doorway when I walk in the front. I need to wreck this house, leave- go find a comfy, wooden, spacious, well-lit house with friendly corridors and inviting couches, with dusty shelves with interesting books with colorful schemes.

 

Some photos make me want to find silence more often. Terrible, gut-wrenching enlightening SILENCE- to disappear to the top of a mountain, to the top of a ravine, top of a sand dune, top of a hill, top of a volcano, top of a tree, top of a building, to the middle of a forest, to the middle of a savannah, to the middle of nowhere. A nice photo bubbles euphoria out of my chest and dribbles down my pores. I think to myself, how glorious- I need to do this, I need to be in Hong Kong right now, in that weather. How glorious- I need to be there, I need to be in Luxembourg or Canada or that guys backyard or that party or that hill or smile like that. I need to I need to I need to, it all looks so beautiful. Some photos make me feel so sympathetic I swear I'm feeling empathetic. Some photos make me so sad I find my own gut-wrenching silence in my chair.

 

Some photography makes me lust for red gloves in a white snow storm just for the contrast. I need longer scarves and high boots and stronger coffee and a way to get everywhere. It makes me lust to travel with my hair in the wind, to stop at gas-stations and talk to attendants, and stop to pet dogs with yellow doggy raincoats.

 

Good photography makes me so sad, that the way life looks in a photograph is so perfect. It's busting with emotion & different connotations that I want to feel so badly so often-- that I feel is just never in my grasp. Good photography makes me want to turn my volume up until I can't hear my own thoughts and roll the windows down on a country road in pouring rain- until it grows dark. Dark, dark, dark. Then the sun rises, peaking over the horizon, making everything blue and purple in the morning and I turn the volume off and just listen the wheels of my car spin.

 

Good photography inspires me in every which way, spilling all over the place, making a mess.

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Uploaded on October 16, 2012
Taken on October 16, 2012