182/365. read.

you come back to the same places every morning

and every night

and also a few times during the day.

and things are always different.

 

i want to apologize guys for being much worse contact than i used to be. and to apologize even more, because it's not going to change anytime soon, it might get worse.

i need to change a lot of things. starting here.

i need to change my priorities. change the way i spend my time.

i will keep some of the reasons for myself, but the biggest point is that if i don't do anything it will get worse with me. i want to start running. i can't, because of my ankle, but i at least want to do something with myself before i am able to do so. i want to stop using my computer so much. i realized that beside school, meals, sleep and sometimes tv i spend all of my time on computer, which means especially on flickr. i don't say it's only wasting of time, i love getting to know you, but mostly it is wasting time. i want to invest it into something bigger. i had a lot of dreams. year ago. i was someone else. and i want something from this different me. not everything, some things were not good, but i lost some of the beautiful things from myself too. i want to get my dreams and hopes back. my beliefs that everything is possible. the more my family, my mum needs me, the more i close myself in my room with computer, run away from this world. thinking i can run away from all the problems and pain. but it only gets worse with this.

 

i love you guys so much, you have no idea how much you're helping me.

Done