The Empire Strikes Back
Returning from a long absence, I can now relate more stories from the Imperial Council as my sources in the feline community have granted me access to several more copies of "Das Katze", the official publication of the Imperial Council of Cats. Today I am providing excerpts from an interview of Maximilian Skonderberg-Hagenau, the director of the Ministry of Information some decades ago.
Interviewer- The Empire calls itself an egalitarian state yet most senior positions are limited to males. How is this equality?
Maximilian- Our female cats have the sacred honor of birthing kittens for the continuation of the Empire. No greater honor or position can be imagined than bearing the responsibility of the future of the Empire. Besides, all cats of the Empire are expected to live and die for the Empire. What could be more egalitarian?
Interviewer-What are the actual geographical limits of the Empire?
Maximilian- The Empire ends beyond the shadow of the Grand Protector (leader of the Imperial Council), or as is sometimes said, the end of the tip of his sword.
Interviewer- What is the position of the Imperial Council on cats living with their human servants?
Maximilian- The Imperial Quartering Act of 1367 requires humans to shelter and provide provisions for a minimum of two cats in each human household. However, humans are impossibly stupid with few being able to speak or read cat so most are unaware of this requirement even though the edict has been in effect almost seven hundred years. As a result, we allow humans to serve as many cats as their limited abilities allow. Most humans understand that they are deeply flawed creatures and derive some small meaning to their existence by serving cats. Those humans that have no cats are flawed beyond any hope and live a meaningless existence.
End of Interview.
The Empire Strikes Back
Returning from a long absence, I can now relate more stories from the Imperial Council as my sources in the feline community have granted me access to several more copies of "Das Katze", the official publication of the Imperial Council of Cats. Today I am providing excerpts from an interview of Maximilian Skonderberg-Hagenau, the director of the Ministry of Information some decades ago.
Interviewer- The Empire calls itself an egalitarian state yet most senior positions are limited to males. How is this equality?
Maximilian- Our female cats have the sacred honor of birthing kittens for the continuation of the Empire. No greater honor or position can be imagined than bearing the responsibility of the future of the Empire. Besides, all cats of the Empire are expected to live and die for the Empire. What could be more egalitarian?
Interviewer-What are the actual geographical limits of the Empire?
Maximilian- The Empire ends beyond the shadow of the Grand Protector (leader of the Imperial Council), or as is sometimes said, the end of the tip of his sword.
Interviewer- What is the position of the Imperial Council on cats living with their human servants?
Maximilian- The Imperial Quartering Act of 1367 requires humans to shelter and provide provisions for a minimum of two cats in each human household. However, humans are impossibly stupid with few being able to speak or read cat so most are unaware of this requirement even though the edict has been in effect almost seven hundred years. As a result, we allow humans to serve as many cats as their limited abilities allow. Most humans understand that they are deeply flawed creatures and derive some small meaning to their existence by serving cats. Those humans that have no cats are flawed beyond any hope and live a meaningless existence.
End of Interview.