Vexxton

Below is the script for a cyberpunk/action-based five minute short film I will be making.

 

I'm not looking for comments like "Wow, awesome!" or "Cool script!". Those comments will be deleted. Instead, I want you to tell me what you don't like about this script, and what I can do to fix it.

 

EXT. CITY – ESTABLISHING

Rain. The city is a mix of bright neon lights and a dark polluted sky. Murmur from crowds and cheap pop music fills the ears.

 

Man (V.O.)

In the near future, the Cronus Virus will wipe out the majority of computers. Recovery will take ten years.

 

We begin to move away from the city, and then SOAR through into a building.

 

INT. VEXXTON COMPLEX – ESTABLISHING

We are looking at the city through a window. The hall is white and clean, with company posters plastered on the walls.

 

Man (V.O.)

After the recovery, the top manufacturer of computers will be Vexxton.

 

PAN UP - A man casually walks towards the camera. He wears a black trench coat and carries a briefcase in one hand. He walks past an educational poster.

 

INSERT – POSTER

 

The poster reads “THE CRONUS VIRUS: INFO ON THE LATEST IN CYBERTERRORISM”.

 

INT. COMPUTER HALLWAY

 

ANGLE ON – DOOR

A security guard is standing in front of the door. The man ducks back behind the wall.

 

Man (V.O.)

One guy? This should be easy.

 

The man takes a breath. He quietly sets down the suitcase, and inches toward the guard.

 

GUARD’S POV – We turn around to see-

The man throwing a punch at the screen.

 

CUT TO:

 

INT. HALLWAY

The man enters frame, dragging the body of the unconscious guard. He props him up against the wall, and takes his gun.

 

INT. COMPUTER ROOM – ESTABLISHING

The room is dark, but we can see shelves of computers. CPUs hum, and nobody else is in the hallway.

 

Man

Jackpot.

 

ANGLE ON – Suitcase being unlocked.

The man opens the case and takes a laptop out. He boots up one of the computers, connects it to his, and starts to type.

 

ANGLE ON – MAN’S FACE

Light dances across his determined face

 

CLOSE UP ON – COMPUTER MOUSE

Frantically moving and clicking.

 

ANGLE ON - MAN’S FACE

He grins.

 

Suddenly, a figure enters the background.

 

Mysterious Person

FREEZE!

 

A man is standing in the hallway, gun in hand. He wears a military-style vest with a familiar logo on the front. A Company Agent.

 

Company Agent

Company Agent, turn around with your hands in the air!

 

The man does just that.

 

Man

Damn, I thought he was the only one.

 

Company Agent

What’s your name?

 

Man

You work here. You should know.

 

Company Agent

So you’re an employee?

 

Man

Not anymore. My name is Robert Drayton.

 

Company Agent

Well, Robert Drayton, you are being charged with violating this Company’s Stored Communication Policy, as well as assault on a Vexxton employee.

 

Robert

Hey, I’m not breaking the law! I’m just doing what’s right!

 

Company Agent

What you are doing is against Company law. Now turn around and shut off that computer.

 

Robert

Vexxton doesn’t play by the rulebook, so why should I?!

 

The Agent RAISES his gun.

 

Company Agent

Keep your mouth shut, and turn it off.

 

Robert doesn’t move.

 

Company Agent

NOW!

 

Robert slowly turns around, reaches for the CPU—

But goes for his coat! He pulls out the gun and aims it at the Agent—

Who has already hit the floor. Bullets PLOW into the wall above him. He gets up and fires-

And Robert turns around. Metal harmlessly SMACKS into his BULLETPROOF trench coat.

Robert PIVOTS back around, SQUEEZES the trigger-

And a BEEP sounds.

 

Gun

Please recharge battery. Please recharge battery…

 

Robert tosses his gun and trench coat aside. The Agent gets up to see-

Robert disappearing under an ACTIVE CAMOUFLAGE COAT. He is now completely invisible.

 

AGENT’S POV – A faint blur goes through the door, and out into the hall.

 

INT. HALLWAY

The Agent BARRELS out behind the wall. The blur that is Robert runs down the hallway. The Agent stops, WHIPS out his gun, and OPENS FIRE. He looks up to see—

A miss. Robert is gone. The Agent RUSHES down the hall.

 

Company Agent

We have a leak! I need all exits sealed now!

 

INT. AUDITORIUM

Red seats fill the room, ending in a stage with a spotlight shining in the middle.

 

WIDE SHOT ON - The Company Agent inching through rows of seats.

 

Company Agent

There’s no way out, it’s over!

 

Robert

Not as long as Vexxton still exists!

 

The Agent looks around, and focuses on the stage. He starts towards it.

 

Robert (CONT'D)

I used to work here as a programmer, until I found out I was playing for the wrong team!

 

The Agent steps up onto the stage, gun ready.

 

Company Agent

You expect me to listen to that sob story? You said it yourself, you’re not an employee of Vexxton anymore. Just a thief and a terrorist!

 

Robert

No! I don’t want this business to hurt anymore people! I want to tell people the truth, to bring back rules!

 

Company Agent

Since you’re so passionate about rules, let me enlighten you on the philosophy of business.

 

The Agent STOPS. A shadow is being cast by the spotlight.

 

Company Agent (CONT’D)

Anything goes.

 

Robert moves toward the agent-

Who SMACKS him across the face with the gun.

An invisible Robert falls to the ground, his shadow still being cast by the spotlight.

LOW ANGLE ON – The Agent standing over him.

 

Company Agent

I know from experience.

 

The Agent drags Robert to a wall, takes off his coat, and PROPS him up.

 

Company Agent

Alright Mr. Drayton, what do you know about the program?

 

Robert

Nothing! I only saw the name! Is this all it takes for Vexxton to arrest someone?

 

The Agent raises his gun.

 

Company Agent

I never said anything about arresting you.

 

Robert’s eyes go wide.

 

Company Agent

This isn’t stepping out of line, just Company Policy.

 

Robert

No, wait-

 

INT. COMPUTER ROOM

Empty. One screen glows.

 

CLOSE UP ON – COMPUTER

It’s the computer Robert was on. A folder is open, with one item displayed.

 

INSERT – CRONOS PROGRAM

 

INT. AUDITORIUM

 

DUTCH ANGLE ON – A dead Robert. The Agent stands over him. He checks his pistol, and walks away.

 

CARD – ROBERT DRAYTON’S DEATH WAS OFFICIALLY RULED AS SUICIDE.

CARD – ROBERT DRAYTON’S DEATH WAS UNOFFICIALLY RULED AS MURDER.

CARD – VEXXTON STOCKS HAVE SINCE FALLEN BY 17%.

 

Done