lauragrafie.
Hardest Part.
“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime,
and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.”
And there we sit again in the dark, on the top step of the staircase with the blue carpet. Saying no word, because something bad might happen then. Holding hands, listening to the sounds from downstairs. You light up the new candle I brought. We’re staring at the big, round bowl with water. It splashes gently around a blue, fake crystal. We’re waiting for hours, no one stands up, we remain silent. People walking, talking, gesturing a few steps under our retreat. We can see their elongated shadows on the white wall which gets brighter every minute. We hear the raindrops on the roof above us. Birds begin chirping, we are angry. But none of us closes the skylight, everything has to be exactly like the other times before. We hear neighbours. They are slamming car doors, driving to work and their children to school. We’re thinking the same. How can they just get on with their life, when something terrible is happening here? But the world keeps going, the big, silver kitchen clock is ticking merciless on the first floor and our hearts are beating like there is no tomorrow.
We get sleepy after four hours, leaning against the white wooden door behind us, closing our eyes.
We hear the busses, which are crossing the street every twenty minutes. We’re counting them. We’re hearing dogs and their leashes with those annoying little bells. There is no dark spot anymore in our corridor. The rain is getting stronger and your mother comes up the stairs. We stop holding our hands. They’re cold as ice. She looks angry at us and shuts down the window. Then she pulls the plug out of the socket and the splashing stops. We keep hearing it. She’s looking at us a last time, before she’s rushing down the stairs again. No words. I’m looking to my left and see your tears. It makes me so sad. I grab for your hand. We’re waiting another four hours. And when the sun pushed the clouds out of her way, everything was over and we started breathing again.
I promised you that I’ll always be there.
Ich hab' dir versprochen, dass ich immer da sein werde.
Hardest Part.
“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime,
and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.”
And there we sit again in the dark, on the top step of the staircase with the blue carpet. Saying no word, because something bad might happen then. Holding hands, listening to the sounds from downstairs. You light up the new candle I brought. We’re staring at the big, round bowl with water. It splashes gently around a blue, fake crystal. We’re waiting for hours, no one stands up, we remain silent. People walking, talking, gesturing a few steps under our retreat. We can see their elongated shadows on the white wall which gets brighter every minute. We hear the raindrops on the roof above us. Birds begin chirping, we are angry. But none of us closes the skylight, everything has to be exactly like the other times before. We hear neighbours. They are slamming car doors, driving to work and their children to school. We’re thinking the same. How can they just get on with their life, when something terrible is happening here? But the world keeps going, the big, silver kitchen clock is ticking merciless on the first floor and our hearts are beating like there is no tomorrow.
We get sleepy after four hours, leaning against the white wooden door behind us, closing our eyes.
We hear the busses, which are crossing the street every twenty minutes. We’re counting them. We’re hearing dogs and their leashes with those annoying little bells. There is no dark spot anymore in our corridor. The rain is getting stronger and your mother comes up the stairs. We stop holding our hands. They’re cold as ice. She looks angry at us and shuts down the window. Then she pulls the plug out of the socket and the splashing stops. We keep hearing it. She’s looking at us a last time, before she’s rushing down the stairs again. No words. I’m looking to my left and see your tears. It makes me so sad. I grab for your hand. We’re waiting another four hours. And when the sun pushed the clouds out of her way, everything was over and we started breathing again.
I promised you that I’ll always be there.
Ich hab' dir versprochen, dass ich immer da sein werde.