Barbecue and Dataframe See Ripcord in Trouble

After the dead Tele-viper is cast into a corner, Barbecue calms down a little

 

Dataframe: This must be the signal control room to the cerebro-shells!

 

Barbecue: Ah damned cerrrrrrrrebro-shells!

 

Dataframe: I don’t know how you knew to find this place but you are one lucky deranged fireman! Just look at all those mind-controlled natives! They blanket the whole north of the rain forest. I’m going to work on shutting down the signal.

 

Barbecue raises his bloody axe

 

Barbecue: I’ll doo it quickerrr! I’ll tear this place apart!

 

Dataframe: No! I have a better idea…

 

Dataframe reaches down the back of his pants. After a quick grunt, he’s holding a small flashdrive

 

Barbecue: What the bloody hell?

 

Dataframe: If you just destroy the hardware, they can replace it, but if you corrupt the software with the right virus…

 

He plugs the flashdrive into the computer and begins furiously typing

 

Dataframe: Now the data will be gone forever!

 

Barbecue: You keep a flash drrrrrrive up yer arse?

 

Dataframe: Well I can’t exactly plug in my pecker… I wrote this code back when I was with the Pentagon. It’s a virus so destructive that they didn’t even want it to exist! They tried to destroy it but I kept a copy. I always knew it would come in handy someday… Now watch the door and make sure nobody comes in here. This is going to take a while…

 

Then Dataframe sees his laptop on a table nearby

 

Dataframe: Ha! There it is… I bet that sorry bastard was looking at this when you were screaming and running around the hallways! There’s security cams everywhere! You are a lucky son of a bitch!

 

Barbecue: I canna believe you keep a flashdrive stuck up yer arse…

 

Dataframe: And I can’t believe that the Joes keep a completely insane guy on the team. Hey look! Looks like they got Recondo too.

 

Barbecue: Can we control the Turcarrrros from in here? We could free ‘em!

 

Dataframe: Until my virus shuts down the signal, we can control everyone! Then the shells will eject themselves. Just give me a minute to figure out the controls, so watch the door, will ya?

 

Barbecue: I’ll cut the ‘ead off any bastard that darrrrrrrres to walk in the roooom!

 

Dataframe: I’m sure you will fireman… I’m sure you will.

 

Meanwhile Croc master has been unable to find any trace of Duke, Scarlett or Outback. He has returned to a snoozing Ripcord with a plan. He wakes Ripcord up with a kick to the balls

 

Croc master: Wake up!! You Joes are pissin me off!

 

Ripcord: Ooooomph!! Wha… what’s going on?

 

Croc master: This is what’s going on!

 

He pulls his 44 magnum out of his leg holster

 

Croc master: I’m gonna blow your head clean off in the count of three if none of your Joe buddies get out here and surrender!!!

 

All the Tucaros around look stunned and brain dead

 

Croc master: I said surrender dammit! I’m serious!

 

Croc master cocks the trigger

 

Ripcord: Holy shit!

 

Outback watches but doesn’t reveal himself. However, Ripcords predicament has been noticed by Dataframe and Barbecue. Dataframe scrambles quickly to control all the Tucaros

 

Croc master: ONE!!!

 

Ripcord: Wait!

 

Barbecue: Hurry up!

 

Dataframe: I’m tryin’!

 

Croc master: TWO!!!

 

Outback watches, still does nothing to reveal his close proximity

 

Barbecue: Scrrrrrrrew it!

 

Barbecue elbows Dataframe away and takes the controls

 

Croc master: THREE!!!

 

Done