Back in Midian...

Law's notes: 9-26-XX

 

I have to say that the weirdest thing about being back is the shadow the Old Man left. Seems like he knew EVERYONE, and everyone he met LOVED HIM. It's freakish... I feel like by wearing my own face I'm an outcast.

 

I wish I could just tell people to imagine this scenario: "You wake up one day and you're body is 50 years old. Turns out that you've already 'had your chance' - and you ended up being a great hero. Pretty cool huh? Oh, don't worry, 50 year old you is about to show up again and you'll vanish forever. Because you've already had your shot - and looks like you won the big door prize. Bye!'

 

Pretty damn unfair. I did what I did to survive, and honestly, I hurt no one doing it. Not my fault if that door is closed, and the old version of me - as respected and loved as he was - is gone. All that's left are memories, and the fuzzy feeling people get when they think of him.

 

I'm not him, though. I think it disappoints people. Portia was disappointed, and hell, even Niobe seemed to be. The only person to see some potential in me was that Alric guy.

 

The real crazy part about it all? I honestly FEEL like an alien. Like something inside is missing... and they have a right to be disappointed, because when they look at me with those eyes they saw HIM with, they see right into me - into the hole that's missing from my being. I can't help but look back, and feel... nothing.

 

I feel nothing. It's strange. I'm a passenger in this, somehow.

 

 

Done