radhan in december

A Village in December

 

Said Hazrat Sahel Tustart (ra), “Purification is of three types; the purification of ilm, knowledge, lies in the disappearance of ignorance. The purification of zikr, focus upon Allah, comes from the vanishing of forgetfulness. The purification of true obedience comes from abstinence from sin."

 

I can’t remember the last time I visited Radhan in December. It’s always March and November and nothing else except when there is a death in the family and we head there for the burial in the family graveyard. But this year, the winter had been late. There was no rain to kick-start it and the temperatures were a mild 26 every single day. That was a first for me. Climate change concern aside, it felt amazing. I hate the cold.

 

The house was all mine. It was warm and quiet and gorgeous. I was acutely aware of my state of happiness that was bordering on elation. That didn’t have just to do with being outside the city. I was also planning a pilgrimage to Iraq with a friend. I had specific things I wanted to do this time, on what would be my second trip. Specifically in Baghdad at Ghaus Pak’s (ra) steps and in Najaf, where lay the Door of the City of Knowledge, the blessed Imam Ali (ratu).

 

I chose the vegetables I would eat every day that the chef, who had been there for 30 some years, would be cooking to perfection; all flavor, no crazed quantity spices to blunt the taste the way they did in the city. Turnips, carrots, peas, mustard spinach, cauliflower, organic chicken, grass-fed beef, liver, the list went on and on. Then there was the fruit in season which was in full bloom and appeared everywhere; grapefruits, oranges, sugarcane. I had brought Ghaus Pak’s (ra) Al Fath Ar Rabbani and two New Yorkers, my Ipod and a usb to watch something at night.

 

Shaan was supposed to come but then I decided against it. My friend from Karachi was coming to see me in March and wanted to return to the village for sure. I thought that might be a better time. If there was one extra person, there may as well be two! Plus someone from my staff in Lahore would accompany us and that would make things easier. All three of us had our idiosyncrasies. In numbers would be our strength

and no one would stand out.

 

I had decided to continue my classes with Qari Sahib per our schedule. We were working only on translating the exegesis of the Quran by Ghaus Pak (ra) in the Tafseer e Jilani and I was motivated as hell. I had a list of verses already that I kept adding to every time I heard a lecture by Uzair or Sheikh Nurjan. (flickr.com/photos/42093313@N00/51683698952/in/dateposted-...)

 

If I could, the only impediment being that Qari Sahib already had several classes a week, I would work with him on it for hours every single day. By my calculation, it would still take me 10 years to translate the whole tafseer. Still, every verse revealed a jewel that only one with inner eyes could see and only one whose being a fountain of generosity could make others, the ordinary, see.

 

This piece was the third I was writing in months. I had started two but then each of them became so long, crossing 70 pages, that I couldn’t put them together. I had been adding notes to them as I wrote, thinking I could make it all cohesive later but they became like the jigsaw puzzles that have a thousand pieces. Which I could never assemble even if I had a thousand years. So I abandoned the first, then went to Ormara, wrote there and abandoned it next.

 

But this time, I was feeling joy, even in my tears, which I noticed only fell from my eyes before or after the dawn prayer. The rest of the prayers through the day could be uttered seriously but I rarely cried. In the village the writing flowed because the happiness made me able to concentrate on words that were other than the Quran. I knew the window was small. I decided to take it. It was not possible to compete with revelation!

 

سَنُرِيهِمْ ءَايَتِنَا فِى ٱلْءَافَاقِ وَفِىٓ أَنفُسِهِمْ حَتَّىٰ يَتَبَيَّنَ لَهُمْ أَنَّهُ ٱلْحَقُّ ۗ

 

Soon We will show them Our Signs in the horizons and in themselves

until becomes clear to them, that it (is) the truth.

Is it not sufficient concerning your Lord, that He (is) over all things a Witness?

Surah Fussilat, Verse 53

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Then points Allah Subhana Ta’ala towards the One-ness of His Essence and His Appearance according to His Names and Attributes in every day presence and His Creations and all that His One-ness encompasses within those Creations and which includes all of it, so that they all become a clear proof upon the Truthfulness of His Book and that it came forth from Him, so He said:

 

Sa nurihim: “Soon, We will show them i.e. the Majboleen, those that have been formed upon the Nature of One-ness, the Makhloqeen, the ones created upon the substance of imaan, faith and irfaan, Recognition of Allah, and the Mo’qineen, the ones possessing certainty of clear unveiling and eye-witnessing, (to these three)…

 

Ayatina: Our Signs i.e. the Clear Proofs of Our One-ness which leads to the One-ness of Our Essence, Apparent…

 

Fil afaaq: in the horizons i.e. in each speck of the Universe external from their beings, which they discover with their tools and their senses. “Afaaq” is named “specks” because it is through them that the rise of the Sun of the Essence of Allah is evident and that rise is also evident in these specks…

 

Wa fi anfusihim: (And Our Signs are apparent) in themselves i.e. their selves are the highest evidence of the ma’rifat, the Recognition of Allah, and Wahdat al Haq, the One-ness of His Essence.

 

For this reason, said Asdaq al Qaileen, the Most Truthful of the ones who speak and the Akmal al Kamileen, the Most Perfect of the perfect ones, the Prophet (peace be upon him);

 

مَن عَرَفَ نَفسَہُ فَقَد عَرَفَ رَبَۤہُ

 

“The ones who know their own selves, indeed, know their God.”

 

And no doubt, We (Allah) will show them what We will show them….

 

Hatta yattabayyana lahum: until it becomes clear for them and apparent in front of them and unveiled upon them…

 

Annahu: that indeed it i.e. this matter, which is made completely clear in the horizons and in their selves, is…

 

Al Haq: Al Haqeeq, Allah, who is The Rightful Possessor of Truth and Al Saboot, The One who is Unchanging in His Disposal of affairs, Alone in His Being. In the same way, the Quran, which is full of miracles, is also the ultimate Truth, and overall encompasses His Appearance and His Attributes.

Poets gave their reaffirmation in their own way:

 

ہم ایسے اہل نظر کو ثبوت حق کے لیے

اگر رسول نہ ہوتے تو صبح کافی تھی

 

Those of us seeing through the eyes of the heart, for evidence that there is a God,

if the Prophets had not been, a sunrise would have sufficed!

Josh

Subhan Allah!

 

I had heard a lecture recently by Uzair in which he had quoted the verse and the poetry above so I had studied it. It had reminded me of something he had said in earlier lectures; Allah describes Himself more often by that which that he is not i.e. using negation (nafi) rather than that which He is (asbaat). Subhan is the word for it in Arabic which describes the former, meaning “pure of all negativity.” Hamd is for the latter, the praise of that which is undeniable and requires no proof.

 

The Kalima Tauheed (Declaration of One-ness of God), the utterance to enter the fold of Islam, become a Muslim, the one who surrenders, starts with the word “la,” which is negation;

 

لَآ اِلٰهَ اِلَّا اللّٰهُ مُحَمَّدٌ رَّسُوْلُ اللّٰهِؕ

 

Not is there a god but Allah and Muhammad (peace be upon him) is His Messenger.

 

The Kalima itself is worded differently by various Spiritual Masters, Ghaus Pak (ra) using the world Maujood i.e. present;

 

لا الہ الا اللہ ای لا موجود الا اللہ

 

There is no God but Allah means there is no Presence except that of Allah.

 

I guess that meant negation prevails over assertion. For a moment I thought about science and if it followed the same premise but then I stopped myself. Science follows Man, say the Spiritual Masters, it doesn’t precede us. The idea of negation had made me think about the definition of sabr in Surah Al Asr, a personal favourite, on the four types of patience.

 

The Surah is extraordinary even before you read the exegesis. It begins with Allah taking an oath upon time. It states that every single person is, without doubt, in a state of loss. Then comes the exception. The only ones who aren’t are the Muqinoon, those who possess inner certainty, which is then defined. Like all of the Quran, the rhythm of the words fall on a beat which makes it easy to memorize and lovely to repeat.

 

‏وَٱلْعَصْرِ

‏إِنَّ ٱلْإِنسَنَ لَفِى خُسْرٍ ‎

‏إِلَّا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَعَمِلُوا۟ ٱلصَّلِحَتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا۟ بِٱلْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا۟ بِٱلصَّبْرِ ‎

 

(Allah takes an oath) upon time,

that the human being is surely in a state of loss,

except those who believe and do righteous deeds and enjoin (each other) to the truth and enjoin (each other) to [the] patience.

Surah Al-Asr, Verses 1-3

 

Tafeer e Jilani

 

Wal Asr: Then Allah Suban Ta’ala takes an oath upon time and the ages, the meaning of which is about the Eternal Essence of Allah, from the beginning till the end, Timeless and Everlasting.

 

Innal Insaana: Indeed, the human being, created such to have a natural propensity towards the nature of ma’rifa, the Recognition of God and imaan, faith according to his share of the Lahoot, the Realm of the Divine, where there is no time and space…

 

Lafe khusr: is in a state of loss, immense and humiliating failure, as a result of their busyness in that which is useless due to the requirements (and needs) of his physical being, as related to his share of the world of Nasoot, the life in this world.

 

Illa: Except the Muqinoon, those who possess inner certainty…

Alladina Aamino: about the One-ness of Allah Subhan Ta’ala and are conscious, through their steadfastness, in their behaviour continuously in His Kingdom and about His Authority.

 

Wa: And with this faith and certainty…

 

Amilos Sualihaat: they do good deeds which points towards their ikhas, sincerity and their yaqeen, absolute conviction, and niyyat, intention.

 

Wa: And in this condition…

 

Tawasau bil Haq: they enjoin each other towards the Path of God and His One-ness…

 

Wa tawasau: and they also enjoin each other…

 

Bis sabr: towards patience for the practice of matters that require obedience and (patience towards) their tiredness from striving hard and (patience towards) from what they suffer as a result of cutting themselves off from their love of the world and (patience towards) leaving their animalistic desires which are attached to human nature.

 

All the Spiritual Masters had said that the practice of patience in denying oneself of that which one wanted, be it related to the world or the physical self and human desire, was the most noble. Again, negation!

 

On that first day as I lay in the garden, alternating between taking photos of birds and reading, I discovered another reason Shaan had come into my life. It was to empty my heart of all others. To bring me closer to eradicating the possibilities of shirk, (associating others with God), that persisted regardless of my worship. Those hopes, never ending, those desires I always obeyed!

 

In the Golden Chain of ahadith, which is when the words of Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) are recorded by his family, Maula Ali (ratu) narrates;

 

قال علي بن أبي طالب رضي الله عنه:

إن أخوف ما أتخوف عليكم اثنتين:

اتباع الهوى، وطول الأمل،

فأما اتباع الهوى فيصد عن الحق، وأما طول الأمل فينسي الآخرة

 

Maula Ali (ratu) said that the Prophet of God (peace be upon him) said;

“Indeed of what I fear for you, I fear the most two things;

the following of desires and the endless greed for the world.

For the following of desires blocks you from the Truth, and the endless greed makes you forget the Afterlife.”

 

A line in Al Fath Ar Rabbani echoed exactly why the focus was all in the wrong place, the ego, which had become the false origin of all emotion;

 

“The happiness of your nafs, the base self, is what makes you happy. It’s sadness is what makes you sad.”

 

Ever since Shaan had come into my life I was already detaching from everyone else. It was like I didn’t need anyone. I thought about it sometimes when I was in my room alone. Was that it with people? Having a person in one’s life that one cared for, took responsibility for, worrying about their emotional state, was that what made them indifferent to others? (flickr.com/photos/42093313@N00/51621076407/in/dateposted-...)

 

Since he was around me I didn't care at all about who I met and who I didn't. I didn't miss anyone. I didn't seek anyone. I even spent time thinking about how I would treat others now that I didn’t need them. I had been pondering over it as if it was going to be a spiritual exercise. But of course it was just a whispering of Iblis to ignite my ego. Its eternal wanna-be goody two shoe-ness sans sincerity.

 

I only ended up reinserting thoughts of events past and creating nostalgia around those that were and will always willingly absent and eternally betraying. The falsehood of my thoughts was too apparent to ignore. The sadness relating to them reverberating in my heart, created the impression of some warm remembrance, which was really just hurt.

 

More importantly, a hadith was brought before me that brought a swift end to the pondering of whether I would be kind or cruel. In searching for something I came across something Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) had said about what he was commanded by His Lord, who raised him, nurtured him. He had listed nine things. I had focused on three that had to do with other people:

 

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: أَمَرَنِي رَبِّي بِتِسْعٍ:

خَشْيَةِ اللَّهِ فِي السِّرِّ وَالْعَلَانِيَةِ

وَكَلِمَةِ الْعَدْلِ فِي الْغَضَبِ وَالرِّضَى

وَالْقَصْدِ فِي الْفَقْرِ وَالْغِنَى

وَأَنْ أَصِلَ مَنْ قَطَعَنِي وَأُعْطِي مَنْ حَرَمَنِي

وَأَعْفُو عَمَّنْ ظَلَمَنِي

وَأَنْ يَكُونَ صَمْتِي فِكْرًا

وَنُطْقِي ذِكْرًا

وَنَظَرِي عِبْرَةً و

آمُرُ بِالْعُرْفِ

 

The Prophet of God (peace be upon him) said; I was ordered by my Lord nine Commands:

To be in fear of God in secrecy and in announcement,

and to speak justly when in anger and in happiness,

and to be moderate in poverty and wealth,

and to connect with the one who disconnects from me and to give to the one who deprives me,

and to forgive the one who is unjust to me,

and for my silence to be for reflection (of Him)

and my utterance to be of remembrance of (Him)

and my seeing to be to seek lessons

and to enjoin others towards goodness.

 

So that was that! Whether I could do it or not was another matter of course. But that bridge could only be crossed when it appeared. If they appeared that is. It served to remind me of a line I had read in the Tafseer e Jilani that we only see those for whom love has been placed in our hearts. Then I came across a cartoon or rather a sketch in one of my New Yorkers titled Paul and Audrey, that I type below as was, that proved just that magnificently.

 

Paul Desmond was the alto saxophonist in the Dave Brubeck Quartet from 1951 5o 1967. He wrote “Take Five,” the Group’s biggest hit. He had a lifelong crush on Audrey Hepburn. Though they never met…

 

The strip was about her performing at the 46th Street Theater starring in “Ondine” in the spring of 1954. The Quartet was playing a few blocks away. Every night, Paul asked Brubeck to call an intermission at the same time. Desmond would duck out of the club and cut across Times Square. He’d stand in an alley to watch Hepburn walk out the stage door and climb in to her limo.

 

That year Paul wrote a song called “Audrey” which appeared on the Columbia Records Album “Brubeck Time.” Desmond died from lung cancer in 1977. He was single and never knew whether Hepburn had heard the song he wrote for her.

When Hepburn died in 1993, her ex-husband Andrea Dotti called Brubeck to ask if his Quartet would play “Audrey” at a memorial service at the UN Headquarters. This took Brubeck by surprise.

 

“I had no idea you’d be aware of Audrey…”

 

“My wife listened to that song every night before she went to bed.”

 

Sob!

 

The love was inserted in one’s heart for another. The fruit of that love was mushahida, a witnessing. It felt comforting to me that if people were going to be coming and going out of my life, my seeing them, them seeing me, or not, would at least only be a function of love. There would be ikhlas that I didn’t have to inject, never knowing if it was real (sincerity) or fake. It would either be there or not entirely outside my own existence.

 

In these warm winter days I read in Al Fath Ar Rabbani that disobedience was a result of being jahil.

 

“The one who was disobedient was ignorant of his Lord, therefore he became disobedient. Instead he became obedient to Satan and chose agreement with him. If he had not been jahil, ignorant, he would not have become disobedient. If he had become cognizant of his base self, the nafs, aware that it bids him towards what is wrong, he would never have succumbed to it…The nafs, desire, nature, and bad company they are all helpers of Iblis who deludes you.”

What the nafs was infatuated with was the world. The company sought was within the world. And it was all attractive.

 

إِنَّا جَعَلْنَا مَا عَلَى ٱلْأَرْضِ زِينَةً لَّهَا لِنَبْلُوَهُمْ أَيُّهُمْ أَحْسَنُ عَمَلًا

 

(Truly we have made all that is on Earth as an adornment for it)

that We may try them, as to which of them is best in their deed.

Surah Al-Kahf, Verse 7

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Inna ja’alne ma ala alardi: Without doubt We created upon this Earth three basic things; animals and humans, vegetation, and buried treasures. And We created whatever else comes from this Earth; different tastes and different lusts, which are physical or fantasy.

 

Zeenatal laha: These are adornments for it that make it (the world) beautiful and attractive…

 

Ayyuhum ahsan amlan: to see which of them (Mankind) has the best deeds and these deeds are the ones which are completed with true guidance and reflection by detachment from the world. And the absence of focus towards it and staying away from its enjoyment which is an illusion. And staying away from the distraction it creates and its lusts which bring with them all kinds of pain and difficulties and desires.

 

It is these wishes which in turn cause different sins and crimes. It is then imperative that in this world then one lives in a single room and wears a single outfit and eats simply, for everything else is just debris which is transient, which inherits sinfulness and trials.

 

When I read the last line of what is “imperative” only one word came to mind; Shaan.

 

The connection of knowledge and deed became clearer through the hadith:

 

من عمل بما یعلم اورثہ اللہ علم ما لم یعلم

 

Hence Nabi Pak (peace be upon him) says:

“The one who acts upon what he acquires as knowledge, Allah makes him inherit the knowledge which he does not know.”

 

Al Fath Ar Rabbani: “First learning must be gained from Creation. That is a command. Then comes the Knowledge from the Creator. And this is the Ilm ul Ludunni, the Knowledge of the Divine. This Divine Ilm from Allah is specific for the qalb, the Seat of Recognition of Allah, and it is a secret which is specific for the soul.

 

O Listener! How is it possible that you possess the capability to gain knowledge without a teacher? You are in the House of Wisdom so seek knowledge for seeking it is dutied upon you. Which is why the Prophet (peace be upon him) said;

 

اطلبوا العلم ولو بالصين

 

Seek knowledge even if it lies as far as China.”

 

I had noticed how many current day political analysts quoted that particular saying frequently now that Pakistan was allied with China in an inseparable way geo-politically. But then every word The Beloved (peace be upon him) spoke was deliberate. It was taught. It had deep repercussions, some that seemed to be unveiling themselves for us in the homeland at least, 1,400 years later.

 

What was it that made the world and all that in it a distraction so intense that one’s soul was forgotten? It was the reason the soul could be ignored for an entire lifetime. I always paid attention to what was happening in China. Like everyone else the Party was doing things that were good and bad.

China had discovered that it had lost control of an entire generation. That thousands of years of culture had been wiped out in a matter of years. India had discovered the same but its reins were firmly in the hands of Hollywood and their own billionaires. They were only sinking fast with no turn around in sight.

 

Recently in China had started what was being called in the press, a new “cultural revolution.”

 

Reuters, August 31st, 2021; “Three hours a week: Play time's over for China's young video gamers. China has forbidden under-18s from playing video games for more than three hours a week, a stringent social intervention that it said was needed to pull the plug on a growing addiction to what it once described as ‘spiritual opium.’”

 

I was captivated by the language the Party used; spiritual opium! I guess once something bad happened to them, it was never forgotten. But it wasn’t just the limiting of the time during the seven days in a week. It was also exactly which days and which timings within those days that the three hours could be used.

 

“They limit under-18s to playing for one hour a day - 8 p.m. to 9 p.m. - on only Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, according to the Xinhua state news agency. They can also play for an hour, at the same time, on public holidays. "Teenagers are the future of our motherland," Xinhua quoted an unnamed NPPA spokesperson as saying. "Protecting the physical and mental health of minors is related to the people's vital interests, and relates to the cultivation of the younger generation in the era of national rejuvenation."

 

They didn’t care if billions were wiped in shareholder value of the companies making the games. Which they were. In fact, quite the opposite. The Party had begun forcing them and the tech moguls to give charity in the billions as part of their “common prosperity” drive;

 

“To answer Beijing’s call of ‘common prosperity,’ China’s Big Tech are scrambling to prove their commitment to social values. Alibaba had earlier this year earmarked 100 billion yuan to help the national strategy of equal distribution of wealth, while Tencent has set up two batches of funds totalling 100 billion yuan."

 

I had been wondering how they could possible enforce such stringent rules, monitor hourly playing of games on the internet by millions of kids. But of course the Party knew how to get what it wanted exactly as it wanted; by controlling the supply of the “electronic drugs.

 

“Gaming companies will be barred from providing services to minors in any form outside the stipulated hours and must ensure they have put real-name verification systems in place, said the regulator, which oversees the country's video games market… The NPPA regulator told Xinhua it would increase the frequency and intensity of inspections for online gaming companies to ensure they were putting in place time limits and anti-addiction systems.”

 

When I read the pieces, I had been in the States. I mentioned the rules to every kid I saw strapped to their Ipad like it was an IV that gave them life. They looked amazed and then unsurprisingly, had the same response; “Thank God I don’t live in that country!”

 

But China didn’t stop at gaming and time spent on the internet. In 2009 they had banned internet porn and heavily fined and penalized any company distributing it. Not to mention adverse consequences for the viewers. But now they were shifting gears.

 

Insider, July 22nd 2021; “Chinese tech giants were fined for distributing ‘soft porn’ sticker packs and sexually suggestive videos with minors in them. The companies have been told to remove related content on their sites. The internet watchdog also imposed a blanket ban on people under 16 from appearing in live streams.”

 

No influencers, no You-tubers! It sounded like a miracle to me. And again the companies would be the ones enforcing the compliance.

 

“Under the campaign ‘Summer cleanup of the internet for minors,’ the CAC issued a blanket ban on young people under 16 from appearing on live streams, which have become an extremely popular way for Chinese e-commerce sites to sell goods. The statement did not detail how the agency is going to impose the ban, which would likely be left up to companies to comply. The internet regulator said the move is aimed at preventing young people from "worshipping money" and selling ‘extravagant pleasure.’”

 

Meanwhile Time Magazine named unhinged Elon Musk, Person of the Year, who was now saying that like the Prophet Noah (as), he wanted to take animals up to Mars on a space ship! The next day the story broke about misogyny rampant at Tesla with filings of sexual harassment suits and the claims that the 256 billion dollar “Person of the Year” was “sadistic.”

 

Hype around the metaverse, most heavily being pushed by the epitome of evil, Facebook, revealed the ugliest downside; sexual harassment in the virtual universe, starting with groping. Beta testers were having the unpleasant experience on Horizon World, Meta’s virtual reality social Media platform.

 

I had concerns about the whole virtual reality world we were going to be entering en masse but unwanted physical aggression was not on that list. I was mostly worried about people becoming reclusive and children getting further addicted to a life online.

 

The Post was printing article upon article about the links of social isolation to violence. On top of that “Since the return of spectators to high school sporting events following the pandemic shutdown, many young athletes across the country have experienced similar hate speech and other abuse. Namely using foul language, making obscene gestures, throwing objects and physically fighting. The uptick also has included spectators hurling sexually demeaning and racist language at young athletes."

 

The Wall Street Journal had been investigating TikTok and Instagram. Both had algorithms inundating minors with “endless spools of content about sex, drugs and eating disorders.” Little could be done about it by the companies and oversight was absent. But the new kid on the block was virtual reality.

 

MIT Technology Review, Dec 12th, 2021: …“There I was, being virtually groped in a snowy fortress with my brother-in-law and husband watching.”

 

…A recent review of the events around the user’s experience published in the journal for the Digital Games Research Association found that “many online responses to this incident were dismissive of the experience and, at times, abusive and misogynistic … readers from all perspectives grappled with understanding this act given the virtual and playful context it occurred in.” A constant topic of debate on message boards after the user’s Medium article was whether or not what she had experienced was actually groping if her body wasn’t physically touched.

 

Katherine Cross, who researches online harassment at the University of Washington, says that when virtual reality is immersive and real, toxic behavior that occurs in that environment is real as well. “At the end of the day, the nature of virtual-reality spaces is such that it is designed to trick the user into thinking they are physically in a certain space, that their every bodily action is occurring in a 3D environment,” she says. “It’s part of the reason why emotional reactions can be stronger in that space, and why VR triggers the same internal nervous system and psychological responses.”

 

The question is: Whose responsibility is it to make sure users are comfortable? Meta, for example, says it gives users access to tools to keep themselves safe, effectively shifting the onus onto them…If anything is clear, it’s this: There is no body that’s plainly responsible for the rights and safety of those who participate anywhere online, let alone in virtual worlds. Until something changes, the metaverse will remain a dangerous, problematic space.”

 

Companies off the hook and here we go again!

 

The cause of disobedience made me reflect on how I understood the word jahil. It was in two ways; the first was to be ignorant. The second was to know but deny the truth. That denial was rooted in the ego, the nafs, the base self. Why? Because it wanted to do what it wanted to do and justify it at all cost. I wondered which I was going to be when the “enemy” appeared.

 

My intense desire was to somehow be what Maula (ratu) had ordered;

 

إذا قدرت على عدوك فاجعل العفو عنه شكرا للقدرة عليه

 

“If you had the ability to destroy your enemy, forgive them out of thanks to God who granted you that ability (to forgive him).”

In the village reading I came across the teachers without whom spiritual journeys were just endless circles; the three types of guides.

 

Al Fath Ar Rabbani: “O Disciple! Remain in the company of the one that helps you to fight your nafs as opposed to the one who aids it against you.

 

When you adopt the company of a jahil, uninformed and munafiq, pretender Spiritual Master, who is a slave to his desire and his nature, he will help the nafs against you. It is compulsory upon you to seek the company of the Spiritual Masters who are not companions of the world but are companions for the Hereafter.

 

When the Sheikh is the one who is a follower of nature and desires, then he will keep company only for sake of the world.

When he is a Sahib e Dil, Sheikh of the Qalb, he will keep company keeping in mind the Afterlife.

 

And when the Sheikh is Sahib e Sirr, of the soul, then his company is to connect (others) with Allah alone.”

Since Shaan came in to my life I never got stuck for days on end on a thought, no matter what it was. Good or bad, disturbing or pleasing. Everything was a door. I saw the emotion, marked it and passed through it. I would even say the words out loud to stop fixating on a thought that would loop while I tried to make excuses that made its existence valid.

 

“See the door of nostalgia, judgement, anger, disappointment, grief, paranoia, anything and everything!

 

See the door!

 

Pass through it.”

 

There was no stuckness. At least not for long. But that also wasn’t always the case.

 

I had heard Sheikh Nurjan (ra) in a lecture talk about

 

وَقُلْ جَاءَ الْحَقُّ وَزَهَقَ الْبَاطِلُ إِنَّ الْبَاطِلَ كَانَ زَهُوقً

 

And declare, O Prophet (saw), “The truth has come and falsehood has vanished, for falsehood is bound to wither away - Surah Al-Isra’, Verse 81

 

“When you are solid in your settlement in Allah’s Unveiling before you, a clear Sun of Allah’s Essence has appeared, then there is nothing else for all has disappeared; the shadows and darkness that destroy one’s being. When you find that knowledge and you find that door, your life is to serve, to enter into that door. Once you enter that door, you pray to never leave it, to die in it.”

 

Babu ji (ra), my spiritual Master from Golra, had once said in Punjabi to my Mamu when he was in his early 20s, likely looking inside his heart, “don’t get stuck like a donkey in mud. Move on!”

 

I used to think maybe he said that in the context of love. My Mamu was deeply sensitive. That probably made him a classical romantic. But he didn’t say it in the context of any one thing. He said it in reference to every single thing.

 

Hazrat Najmuddin Kubra (ra) in the Tafseer e Jilani:

 

“You had made the behaviour of your nafs overpower the attributes of your qalb, which is the Seat of Recognition of Allah. This is because your good deeds were only for display and to claim good repute. Your purpose in following in the footsteps of the nafs was to receive things from this world that you thought would benefit you and showing truthful regard for your Lord was not your intention.

 

Still, he delivered you from painful punishment (for such acts) so that you would only desire to seek the Pleasure of Allah and occupy yourself only with His worship (by being mindful of Him at all times). If you were thus granted, due to His Mercy, advances in your spiritual ranks, don’t become stuck in them. Instead, move forward and continue to seek union with the Status and Stations of Allah’s Essence until you achieve success in reaching them.”

 

The placement of people, all of creation, in one’s life is tricky. They all serve as mirrors to see one self and they are the bait Iblis uses to create havoc. Truly a case of you cant live with them or without them!

 

Al Fath Ar Rabbani: Remember! Makhlooq, creation, is the veil over your nafs, ego.

And your ego is the veil over your qalb that prevents you from recognizing your Lord.

And your qalb is the veil over your batin, the inner being.

So as long as you remain stuck with people, you will not be able to see your nafs.”

 

It made me think back to the hadith on knowledge as self-awareness.

 

من عمل بما یعلم اورثہ اللہ علم ما لم یعلم

 

“The one who acts upon what he acquires as knowledge, Allah makes him inherit the knowledge which he does not know.”

 

So if one acted upon deed, the condition being that the act was rooted in ikhlas, sincerity, Allah opened a new door of knowledge. And if that was brought into deed, another door opened. Door upon door opening and door upon door carrying one towards sincerity.

 

It was the word ikhlas, the requirement of sincerity, of the deed that was elusive to me. Until Ghaus Pak (ra) told me what was the one place where it lay. The beginning of his words had made me cry because it was all I did wrong:

 

“Stop being satisfied by relaying the states of the Friends of God, and trying to look like them and copying and transmitting their words (to others), when all the while you act in complete opposition to their deeds.

 

For this will bring you no benefit at all. You are grime without purification, mere creation without the Creator, the world without the Afterlife, falsehood without truth, zahir, overt, without a batin, the inner being, words without deed and deed without ikhlas, sincerity.”

 

The whole paragraph had me sitting on edge but the word Ikhlas took me over the top. And then came the last line;

 

“The sincerity is not in accordance with the Sunnah, the acts and deeds of the Beloved of Allah (peace be upon him). Indeed, Allah never accepts words without deed. And He never accepts deeds without sincerity. Whatever it may be, if it is not in line with His Book and the Sunnah of His Messenger (peace be upon him), He will never accept it.

 

This is all claim without proof. Therefore nothing is rightly accepted from you.”

 

Never before in my life was I being pointed with such emphasis towards one door alone; the Sunnah of The Belveod (peace be upon him). I always thought I knew how important it was but I never grasped that it was essential to the point that its absence made things worth naught. Usualy I always circled back to the world I guess because we were stuck in it. Even me who claimed such detachment from it.

 

The connection of sincerity with the Sunnah reminded me of a translation I had done of the end of Surah Al Araaf from the Tafseer e Jilani;

 

“It is incumbent upon you that if you want to receive true guidance from the Book, you have to enjoin yourself with the ahadith of Rasool Allah (peace be upon him). Because the ahadith are meant to explain it, reveal the secrets and signs in it, and make clear that which is ambiguous in it. The ahadith will give you the security you need to have true belief and secure you from slipping and turning away from guidance. It is the ahadith that which take you, according to your capacity, to the path of One-ness.”

 

Every day I sat in the garden and saw the light outside turn a warm yellow in the afternoon. The sky became a powdery blue and everything became brighter and brighter, light upon light. And every day I wished it was the first day there, the beginning of five. In one of my New Yorkers I came across an excellent piece of fiction by a Native American writer. I had not come across him before.

 

It was titled Featherweight. I loved it because it was a story about love. The writing was a little racy but there were lines in it that made me pause. Like the first; “When I first met my love…” I don’t come across romance often in the magazine so it was a treat. Especially since it was written about young love, kids in their 20s, the intensity running sky high all the time in angst and pleasure.

 

…She was like that – anything I said she rejected on principle.

 

…She could never calm down. Her nerves were always at DEFCON 1. One night I told her the true divide between us was not the thing her mother had told us but that I came from buffalo people and she came from fish people. No, she said. You come from sober people and I come from people who throw plates.

 

…Love is most often a resurrected thing.

 

…Some of us are like that. One moment we’re one way, the next we’re another.

 

And my favourite:

 

…I accepted it completely and forever, just as the sun accepts that it will never catch the moon.

 

Because it was exactly about my first short story, Ash Shams Wa Al Qamr, The Sun and the Moon.

 

Every afternoon after I read I took my books in and waited for Pathani. To ask her which direction we would go in that day. To hear her reply whichever you want. The comfort of sameness never leaves me.

 

As I walked amidst the orchid of orange trees trying to choose one to pick some fruit from to try, I thought about how it was not surprising to me that Iblis’ favourite tactic was inserting delusion, creating paranoia, causing obsession over all things worldly. There was no one more deluded than him. He gloated over the warp speed with which he corrupted everything that was made pure and we reveled in our embracing of it under the single guide of modernity, applauding ourselves over non-judgment and freedom. He handed us matches and we set ourselves on fire. That’s another 70 pager that is exhausting to just think about.

 

So when I came across the verse in the Quran about how on the Day that mattered, the excuse that we were led by him, deceived by him would not stand, I was amazed that we were even foretold that.

 

Then the deceiver would just turn around say, “I have nothing to do with you or your choices.” The beginning of the exegesis was amazing starting with this; that desires and lusts that caused ruin would be given the appearance of Satan.

 

وَقَالَ ٱلشَّيْطَنُ لَمَّا قُضِىَ ٱلْأَمْرُ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ وَعَدَكُمْ وَعْدَ ٱلْحَقِّ وَوَعَدتُّكُمْ فَأَخْلَفْتُكُمْ ۖ

وَمَا كَانَ لِىَ عَلَيْكُم مِّن سُلْطَنٍ إِلَّآ أَن دَعَوْتُكُمْ فَٱسْتَجَبْتُمْ لِى ۖ

فَلَا تَلُومُونِى وَلُومُوٓا۟ أَنفُسَكُم ۖ

مَّآ أَنَا۠ بِمُصْرِخِكُمْ وَمَآ أَنتُم بِمُصْرِخِىَّ ۖ

إِنِّى كَفَرْتُ بِمَآ أَشْرَكْتُمُونِ مِن قَبْلُ ۗ

إِنَّ ٱلظَّلِمِينَ لَهُمْ عَذَابٌ أَلِيمٌۭ

 

And when everything will have been decided Satan will say,

"Indeed, Allah promised you a promise of truth. And I promised you, but I betrayed you.

But I had no authority over you, except that I invited you, and you responded to me.

So do not blame me, but blame yourselves.

I cannot be called to your aid, nor can you come to mine.

Indeed, I deny your previous association of me (with Allah).”

Indeed, the wrongdoers, for them (is) a punishment painful."

Surah Ibrahim, Verse 22

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Wa qala Shaitaan: The desires which corrupt and corrupt others, first of all, they will say about Mankind, when they will have been given the appearance of Satan the deceiver…

 

Lamma qudiyal amr: after the matter has been decided about the abode of the people of Heaven in Heaven and the people of Hell in Hell...

 

Innallaha: (those desires that will be given the appearance of Satan will say) indeed Allah, Al Muslih, The Reformer, Al Mudabbir, The Disposer of the affairs of His Servants…

 

Wa’adukum wa’adal Haq: He promised you about this Day (to not follow Satan) which you are now held accountable for…

 

Wa wa’adtukum: and I promised you waywardness and delusion, opposite to His Promise…

 

Fa akhlaftukum: so I went against that which your Lord promised you, despite that its fulfillment (of my promise) was impossible and there was never any doubt about that ever. And you followed my words despite that this was a delusion and disobedience. There could have never been any hope that the promises would come true and still, you believed me.

Wa: And yet another thing is that…

 

Ma kana li alaykum min sultan: I had no control over you. There is no proof that I could have overcome you and nor do I have an argument which allows me refuge…

 

Illa an dawutakum: except that I only invited you according to your choices and your desires which was exactly based on your lusts and physicality, and knowing all that…

 

Fastajabtum li: you accepted my call and you accepted it to be true, without reflection and without delaying, willingly and with want.

 

Fala talumoni alyoum: So don’t blame me today…

 

Wa loumo anfusukum: and blame your selves which persuaded you and beckoned you towards following me, along with your knowing (full well that this) was my trap and my enemity.

 

Ma ana: I am not today…

 

Bimusrihikum: your helper (if you want to call upon me to help you), nor do I have authority to help you, even if I claim to be with you, like I used to in the past, to deceive you and create illusions…

 

Wa ma antum: And neither are you…

 

Bimusrikhi: my deliverers, now that everything has come to light and the bondage of love between us has been cut and everyone has become the saver of their own selves according to what they have done.

 

Inni: Indeed I, on this day after the unveiling of the secrets and the hidden truths,

 

Kafartu: deny i.e. disassociate myself from and refuse…

 

Bima asharktumooni: those things by which you joined me in committing shirk (associating others) with Allah, who is Al Wahid Al Ahad, The Only One, As Samad, The Eternal One on whom all depends, with whom nothing can be associated at all…

 

Min qablu: from what happened in the world of delusion and lies and deception.

 

Inna ad dalimeena: Indeed, the transgressors, the ones who are outside the parameters of the fulfillment of Allah’s Commands and what He forbids in hostility and in deviance…

Lahum: for them today…

 

Adaaun aleem: is a painful torment.

 

It made me think of the two verses I had translated about the human will. Its existence only by virtue of God’s Will. The first verse was for everyone and the word that caught my eye was “conscience.”

 

‏وَمَا تَشَآءُونَ إِلَّآ أَن يَشَآءَ ٱللَّهُ رَبُّ ٱلْعَلَمِينَ

 

And you cannot will it unless Allah wills it.

Surah At-Takwir, Verse 29

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Wa: And the end of this chapter is this, that indeed…

 

Ma tasha’oona: what you will and what you choose in the way of your conscience and guidance for yourselves…

 

Illa ayyasha Allahu: is not except that which Allah wills for your guidance and gives you ability for with steadfastness and morality, as a favour upon you and His Bounty.

 

Because the deeds performed by you in your routine are only coming from Allah, generated by Him in their origin, because He is the Only One, Glory be to Him…

 

Rabbul Alimeen: Sustainer of the Universe. There is no Sustainer present except Him and there is no Disposer of Affairs in the apparent realms except Him. And the demand of His Nurturing and making perfect and complete is fulfilled by guiding His Servants and granting them ability towards that which is best for them and what is the most suitable for their situation.

 

The second applied only for His Friends, the Mutaqarraboon:

 

‏وَمَا تَشَآءُونَ إِلَّآ أَن يَشَآءَ ٱللَّهُ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا حَكِيمًۭا ‎

 

But you cannot will it unless Allah wills it.

Indeed, Allah is All Knowing, All wise.

Surah Al Insaan, Verse 30

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Wa: But…

 

Ma tasha’oona: you cannot will anything, those who attained Allah’s Qurb i.e. Closeness, the Mutaqarraboon, who travel towards Him according to their ability from Allah and ease from Allah…

 

Illa ayya sha’ Allah: except that which Allah wills, who is Al Muwaffiq, The One who grants ability, Al Mujid, The One who creates, Al Muqaddir, The One who decides destiny, for their (the Mutaqaarbeen’s) routine actions and deeds, Al Munji, The One who saves them from the invisibility of possibilities and the darkness of thoughts and paranoia.

 

Innallaha: Indeed, Allah is Al Muttali’u, The One who is Fully Aware of the ability of His Servants.

 

Kana Aleemun: And He is The Knower of their capacity that makes one able to receive the Bounty of Kashf, unveiling and Shuhood, eye-witnessing.

 

Hakeem an: Allah, He is All Wise in their nurturing and their completion.

 

Everything in these days was highlighting that my refuge only existed in “The One who saves them from the invisibility of possibilities and the darkness of thoughts and paranoia.” I thought of Shaan. He was saved. In his routine actions and deeds, in his words, he was innocent and he was kind. He instantly forgave those who were mean to him. I saw it. There was never grudge. He was made pure.

 

He repelled negativity naturally by leaving the space it sprung in. Often when he was around my friends, who he seemed initially excited to meet, he would leave within 10 minutes of us hanging out. It took that much time, if not less, for someone to start gossiping or saying something critical about someone. I would look around and he would be gone, either walking outside or watching a video on his game.

 

It was like he knew the incident:

 

A man reviled Hazrat Abu Bakr Siddique (ratu) in the presence of Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him). The Prophet of God (peace be upon him) remained seated. He looked pleased and smiled. The man insulted Hazrat Abu Bakr (ratu) twice but the latter controlled himself and remained silent. He insulted him for a third time and Hazrat Abu Bakr (ratu) let his tongue loose and responded back.

 

At that time the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) got up and left. Hazrat Abu Bakr Siddique (ratu) followed after him and said, “Ya Rasool Allah (peace be upon you)! He insulted me and you just sat there. Then when I responded to some of what he said, you became angry and left.”

 

The Prophet of God (peace be upon him) replied. “There was an angel with you who was responding to his insults on your behalf. When you insulted him back, the evil Jinn appeared and I don’t sit in the company of Shaitaan. Keep in mind a thing which is always true Abu Bakr: Whenever a person is subjected to an injustice but leaves the matter to Allah, then Allah will come to his aid.”

 

A verse that I had uttered practically since birth took on a renewed significance, one that I had entirely ignored my whole life in my saying it purely verbatim.

 

I seek refuge from Satan, the accursed.

 

Since reading in so many verses that refuge was sought in Allah, I was trying to be more mindful of saying the line. Sometimes mid-prayer inane distracting thoughts would enter my mind, sometimes disturbing ones and I would say the line mid-prayer.

 

‏إِنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ ٱتَّقَوْا۟ إِذَا مَسَّهُمْ طَٓئِفٌۭ مِّنَ ٱلشَّيْطَنِ تَذَكَّرُوا۟ فَإِذَا هُم مُّبْصِرُونَ

 

Indeed, those who are mindful and conscious of Allah, when touches them an evil thought from the Shaitaan,

they remember Allah and then they are those who begin to see things clearly.

Surah Al-Araaf, Verse 201

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Then said Allah reminding His Beloved (peace be upon him);

 

Innalladina ittaqau: Those who are conscious and mindful of Me amongst My Servants, they are in a routine such that…

 

Ida massahum: whenever touches them and tries to overcome them…

 

Taifun: the sender from Satan who awaits and encircles their hearts…

 

Min Ash-Shaitan tadakkaru: they remind themselves of what they been commanded to do and what is forbidden for them from Allah…

 

Fa idahum: so in the same moment, due to the remembrance of what has been commanded and that which is forbidden…

 

Mubsiroon: they become able to differentiate the placement of the sins and therefore become careful of them and come into the Refuge of Allah from those things that put them into false illusions about Him.

 

Especially when anger came upon me. As rare as it had become, when it appeared it was still as consuming as the early days, when I can only admit with shame, I reveled in it. It’s ability to overpower and defeat another. Anyone!

 

وَإِمَّا يَنزَغَنَّكَ مِنَ ٱلشَّيْطَـٰنِ نَزْغٌ فَٱسْتَعِذْ بِٱللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّهُۥ سَمِيعٌ عَلِيمٌ

 

If an evil suggestion come to you from Satan stirring you (to blind anger),

then seek refuge with Allah. Surely He is All-Hearing, All-Knowing.

Surah Al-A’raf, Verse 200

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Wa Imma Yanazaghannaka: So if reaches you whispers which then disappear, thus placing you in a state of disruption…

 

Min Shaitaan: it is from Shaitaan, who influences you physically through the organs which cause anger and stokes the ego in a way that is only ignorant creating a false sense of dignity…

 

Nazghun: causing doubts and delusions that persuade you to become angry and take you out of the state that you have been ordered to stay in, which is tolerance and softness of behaviour.

 

Fasta’iz billah: So come into the Refuge of Allah from these entrapments and return to Him from these doubts and this plotting. He is with His Glory Enough to protect you from his evil and treachery.

 

Inna hu: Indeed, Allah is Pure from everything that is negative…

 

Sami’un: and is the Acceptor of your prayers,

Aleem: and the Fulfiller of your needs.

 

The above verse was in particular a breakthrough for me. All that angered me all the time was around the feeling of disrespect. Recently I had raged because of people disrespecting Shaan. Who cared nothing about it. It wasn’t just gossip he didn’t engage in. It was also anger, complaining, even sadness.

 

If I thought someone tried to dismiss him or take advantage of his naiveté, I would fly off the handle. The recent incident that came to mind was on the 12th of Rabbul Awwal, the day that the Universe celebrates the birthday of the Mercy for it, I had a gathering at my house. Shaan came. He told me there was no water at his apartment for the last day and a half so he wanted to bathe and change at mine.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me there was no water Shaan?” I asked concerned. “I would have called the landlord.” Who I was already furious at for kicking Shaan out of the place because he couldn’t figure out the lock and key situation. He had then set conditions that Shaan couldn’t leave the house unattended in case he left something ajar again. He had to be picked and dropped because he couldn’t leave the house alone in case he left something unlocked. I wanted to call the guy and yell at him.

 

Then the opportunity for revenge appeared. Courtesy of Iblis! The landlord had to return the security deposit. He was play hardball saying I will keep this and I will deduct them. I called up someone I knew in the police. The police in Pakistan have a particular reputation of extraction in the worst way possible. I imagined him being slapped around when his first reaction, given his arrogance, would be of refusal.

 

For two night though the fantasy left me sleepless. During the day I would feel fine making a decision for retribution which was justified for many reasons; the man was a bully. He was treating me the way he was only because I was a woman. That was standard in Pakistan. No one took us seriously. A downside I hardly ever experienced so now that I was, my being livid was off the charts. Plus there was always the “decent” excuse. If I didn’t teach him a lesson, he would do it to someone else. At night I would lie thinking, am I doing the right thing? Am I doing it for my ego or is it justice well deserved?

 

The sleeplessness should have been the tell. If I was doing it for the right reason, I would have slept like a baby.

It was exactly like how the verse described; my organs were making me angry, my ego was being stoked in a way that was definitely only ignorant. I was well outside the circles of tolerance and softness of behaviour. And I was being jahil, in this case denying the truth, that Nabi Kareem (saw) would have forgiven him for sure because he literally forgave everyone everything.

 

Then there was the other factor; running to people to get something done. It was rendering me restless and humiliated. That was really all that I knew was deserved.

 

I even did an istakhara; ask the Quran what to do. The verse that had come was this;

 

وَمَا يَسْتَوِى ٱلْبَحْرَانِ هَـٰذَا عَذْبٌ فُرَاتٌ سَآئِغٌ شَرَابُهُۥ وَهَـٰذَا مِلْحٌ أُجَاجٌ ۖ

وَمِن كُلٍّ تَأْكُلُونَ لَحْمًا طَرِيًّا وَتَسْتَخْرِجُونَ حِلْيَةً تَلْبَسُونَهَا ۖ

وَتَرَى ٱلْفُلْكَ فِيهِ مَوَاخِرَ لِتَبْتَغُوا۟ مِن فَضْلِهِۦ

وَلَعَلَّكُمْ تَشْكُرُونَ

 

The two bodies of water are not alike: one is fresh, palatable, and pleasant to drink

and the other is salty and bitter.

Yet from them both you eat tender seafood and extract ornaments to wear.

And you see the ships ploughing their way through both,

so you may seek His Bounty and give thanks to Him.

Surah Fatir, Verse 12

 

At the time I was told the sign was to go ahead. Pull the trigger on sending in the troops so to speak and “extract” all that was owed. The amount itself was so insignificant, I can’t even mention it here. I had worked around that too in my head; it wasn’t about the money, it was the principal at stake blah blah blah…

 

At dinner I was relieved the verse gave me the green light. By midnight I hadn’t sleep so at Fajr, I prayed and wept and apologized to Allah and His Rasool (saw) for being eternally out of control. In endless waves. During the prayer, I thought of the verse in the istakhara as the two rivers being my soul and my ego. One sweet and pleasant, the other salty and bitter. Both however had corals for me.

 

Initially I had seen myself as the pleasant, sweet, palatable river. My ego was thrilled. The landlord was the salty bitter nightmare. Of course! But at Fajr I saw it differently. The two bodies, separate and opposite were within my own self; the first was my soul, the second my nafs. In both were jewels for me. One polished my heart so my Qalb could gain recognition of God. The other was nothing but a reminder of Him. Or so was my reading of the situation.

 

I had come across a fascinating commentary by Hazrat Najumddin Kubra (ra) about the pact made between the nafs, the ruh (soul) and the batin (the inner being) every time a human being was created.

 

‏بَرَآءَةٌۭ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِۦٓ إِلَى ٱلَّذِينَ عَهَدتُّم مِّنَ ٱلْمُشْرِكِينَ

 

The disavowal from obligations by Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him) from the covenant with the idolators.

Surah Tauba, Verse 1

 

Commentary by Hazrat Najmuddin Kubra (ra) on the verse:

 

The symbolic meaning of the verse is this: The mushrikeen, the idolator, is the wayward and polytheist nafs, the base self, who made desires its lord and master and began to worship the idols of the world. When a person is in their early years, the ruh and qalb, the soul and the heart within the heart which is the Station of Recognition of Allah, made a pact with the nafs.

 

The terms of it being that the ruh and the qalb will not fight and kill the nafs until the person reaches maturity. Similarly, the nafs also makes a pact not to instigate problems with the ruh and the qalb so that the bodily skeleton reaches complete maturity and the physical strength is attained at its peak, which carry the burden of Allah’s Trust and become watchful of Islamic Jurisprudence, the Shari’a.

 

In this time, the aql, the intellect, the power to reason and reflect, becomes strong which can then accept the invitation of Truth and have the ability to answer it. It is this aql that allows the recognition of the Prophets and their miracles. And it is through this aql that the proof of the Presence of Allah is established and it understands the compulsion of His Worship in order to express gratitude towards Him for His Blessings.

Indeed, Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him) withdraw from the pact after maturity is gained.

 

Because Man broke the pact which was between the nafs and the ruh and the qalb. Before maturity was gained, the nafs was only focused on eating, drinking and clothing itself so that the body can develop and all its needs are met. To this extent, there was no problem for the ruh and the qalb from the nafs. But once maturity was gained, lust and desires became added to these needs.

 

When the lust appeared along with the need for food and drink, its destruction, created physical desires for a mate. When that lust was aroused and started tempting the body, the qalb and the ruh began to become weak. This was the fatal disease for which the Prophets were sent so as to dispel it.

 

انما بعثت لرفع العادات و ترک الشھوات

 

Just like Nabi Kareem (peace be upon said),

“I have been sent to end the ways of ignorance and to prevail over the desires of lust.”

 

“It’s cool Ma’am,” Shaan had said about the water situation, answering me with his favourite response. “I didn’t want to disturb you. I made do with whatever water I had in the fridge.”

 

Two hours later we had found out that Shaan had left one of the taps in the house open so the water from the now fixed water tank was gone again. I didn’t care. “Tell them,” I told my driver, “that if he didn’t complain about not having water for two days, they can shut up about a running tap.”

 

The match that could light that anger was right next to me I was told.

 

قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ

مَا مِنْكُمْ مِنْ أَحَدٍ إِلَّا وَقَدْ وُكِّلَ بِهِ قَرِينُهُ مِنْ الْجِنِّ

قَالُوا وَإِيَّاكَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ

قَالَ وَإِيَّايَ إِلَّا أَنَّ اللَّهَ أَعَانَنِي عَلَيْهِ فَأَسْلَمَ فَلَا يَأْمُرُنِي إِلَّا بِخَيْرٍ

 

The Prophet of God (peace be upon him) said, “There is no one amongst you except that next to him is an associate from the Jinn (who propels him towards sin.)

 

The Companions asked, “O Messenger of Allah! Even with you?”

 

He replied, “And even with me except that Allah helped me against him and he surrendered so (now) he doesn’t say order me towards anything except goodness.

 

Ghaus Pak (ra) says, “Melt your nafs, your desires and your nature with regular fasting, constant salat and constant patience. When that melting is made right for a person, then his Lord remains without any interference. The only thing that then remains is the qalb, the batin and God; open-ness without tightness, illness without disease.

 

Use your powers to reflect! Gain knowledge, act upon it, and become sincere.”

 

In Lahore, I had been reading Surah Tauba on my own. In the last few verses to command to establish prayer had been coming up a lot.

 

‏إِنَّمَا يَعْمُرُ مَسَجِدَ ٱللَّهِ مَنْ ءَامَنَ بِٱللَّهِ وَٱلْيَوْمِ ٱلْءَاخِرِ وَأَقَامَ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ وَءَاتَى ٱلزَّكَوٰةَ وَلَمْ يَخْشَ إِلَّا ٱللَّهَ ۖ

فَعَسَىٰٓ أُو۟لَٓئِكَ أَن يَكُونُوا۟ مِنَ ٱلْمُهْتَدِينَ

 

Only those who will maintain the Masajid of Allah, who believes in Allah and the Last Day

and establishes the prayer and gives the zakat and does not fear anyone except Allah.

Then perhaps, they are of the guided ones.

Surah Tauba, Verse 18

 

I focused on the tafseer of the words aqaam as salat - establish prayer: “Because it always keeps the inclination and focus on Allah alone.”

 

That wasn’t true for me but then I wasn’t praying like I was told to, as if I was seeing God.

 

‏فَإِن تَابُوا۟ وَأَقَامُوا۟ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ وَءَاتَوُا۟ ٱلزَّكَوٰةَ فَإِخْوَنُكُمْ فِى ٱلدِّينِ ۗ

 

If they repent and pray and give the purifying alms, they become your brethren in faith.

Surah Tauba, Verse 11

 

Aqamus Salat: “Establish prayer for it cleanses their batin, inner being, from inclination from anything other than Allah.’

I wondered when and how that would ever happen for me.

Then one evening I had asked Shaan; “In the Quran, Shaan, it says “establish prayer.” Not read it or perform it. “Aqeemu salat” – establish prayer. What does that mean to you?”

 

Shaan flicked his hair aside and just said matter of factly, “I think it means when you pray, pray with a pure, truthful heart. When it is clean and cleansed of everything.”

 

I just stared at him. He wasn’t even praying yet he was in a state of establishing prayer. Which I had heard Uzair describe as being on the prayer mat the same as off of it; Physically clean and focused on Allah alone. The ablution was a requirement we could fulfill and hope it was correctly performed. But the singular focus on God, zero distraction, who had that in their salat?

 

Shaan was what had gotten me interested in the verses about the nature of Man in the Quran; the verses that had to do with me, not him.

 

‏إِنَّ ٱلْإِنسَنَ لِرَبِّهِۦ لَكَنُودٌۭ ‎

 

Indeed Man towards his Lord is forever ungrateful.

Surah Al Adiyat, Verse 1

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

And overall Allah takes oaths, great, (upon previous verses to say):

 

Innal insaana: Indeed, Man who is formed in ingratitude and forgetfulness…

 

Li Rabbihi: towards His Lord, who raised him in varying types of karam, Blessings, and ehsaan, Favour,

 

La kanood: is ungrateful and denies the Truth, transgressing the boundaries of ingratitude and denial of Truth and is tyrannical.

 

‏وَإِنَّهُۥ عَلَىٰ ذَلِكَ لَشَهِيدٌۭ ‎

 

And indeed, surely he is a witness.

Surah Al Adiyat, Verse 6

 

Wa Innahu: And indeed, the nafs of Insaan, Man’s own self…

Ala’ dalika: upon his tyranny and his ingratitude and denial of truth…

 

La shaheed: is a witness. The effects of kufran, ingratitude and denial of Truth and tughyan, oppression, appear upon him forever.

 

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