januarys in karachi

A Love Non-Distracting

 

آں دم کہ دل بعشق دھی خوش دمے بود

درکار خیر حاجت ھیچ استخارہ نیست

 

O what a blessed moment it is for the heart,

when the pain of love for the Almighty is granted to it.

 

Maulana Rum (ra)

 

The month of the Urs Mubarik of Maulana Rum (ra) began on the 14th of December. It is celebrated for a month in Konya. I had posted the video for Ghaus Pak’s (ra) Urs only a few days earlier. I thought I might take some time off but I was leaving for Karachi for a month. I decided to at least do the narration and record the kalam before I left. I thought I might be able to do the rest from there.

 

I gave it my everything but sadly it didn’t happen. In the days just before, I had a class with Qari Sahib in which he told me a hadith. All the ahadith are spectacular. All aspects of Nabi Kareem’s life are extraordinary, most of all in the layering effect of his words and actions. Each read is unique in what it reveals. The Quran and the hadith are in fact precisely from where the Sufis inherit the impact of their words, in both poetry and prose. Each word is written as if for the individual reader alone!

 

“Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) was sitting with his companions one day when Hazrat Bilal (ratu) came to see him.

 

“You came yesterday as well Bilal,” he said to his beloved Muazzen (the one who gives the call for prayer), “but you don’t have to come every day. Know that separation from the one you love increases the affection between you.”

 

As always Hazrat Abu Bakr Siddique was listening intently to the words of his Master. The next day when the afternoon came and Hazrat Abu Bakr (ratu) had not arrived, the Prophet (peace be upon him) asked about his whereabouts.

 

“I saw him working in the field,” someone said.

 

The next day again Hazrat Abu Bakr Siddique (ratu) did not come. Again Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) asked where he was and was given an answer by whoever saw him last.

 

On the third day when he came, the Prophet (peace be upon him) turned his face from him.

 

It was the sunnah of the Beloved of God (peace be upon him) to always maintain eye contact with the one who came before him, until the person averted their attention elsewhere. It was also his sunnah to never retract his hand when in a handshake until the other person withdrew his first.

 

His manners never ceased to amaze me. What must he have thought of this world in which we barely lift the eyes to acknowledge anyone’s presence, before shooting it back toward a phone, a tv, a tablet, even a book. And important people hardly ever want to come near them, much less touch another’s hands. Holding on to them till they were withdrawn, pre-COVID that is, was a near impossibility.

 

Siddiq e Akbar (ratu) immediately went to his side and said, “May my parents be sacrificed upon you, O Messenger of God, are you upset with me?”

 

The Prophet of God (peace be upon him) asked his why he had not come to see him. Hazrat Abu Bakr Siddique (ratu) told him that he had heard what he had said to Hazrat Bilal (ratu), so was trying to follow his advice.

 

“That advice was for Bilal,” Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) said, “not for you. When you are around me, my focus upon my Lord intensifies. And when you are away from me, in wondering where you are, my concentration upon my Lord becomes distracted.”

 

“Wow,” I thought!

 

The hadith floored me. For many days after and even now, I think about how I never experienced a love of any kind in the world that enhanced my focus on God. Maybe my mother in the sense that I was dutiful and all my acts of obedience were unquestioned but I wasn’t aware of it as bringing me closer to God. Otherwise all my “loves,” platonic and otherwise, distracted me from Him. For starters, they caused delayed and hurried prayers, if not causing me to outright miss them.

 

It would happen the most with friends. I was always worried about missing out on some joke or conversation happening without me. We met so rarely now. Sometimes as I sped through my recitation, I would tell myself, "I should be with my guests so it’s ok to go fast." But in my heart I knew it was all excuses. I had been told what the conduct commanded was by Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) when the Azaan sounded.

 

Hazrat Bibi Ayesha (ratu) narrates: When the time of the namaz came, the Prophet of God (peace be upon him) would disconnect from us, as if we didn’t know each other at all.

 

I started to wonder if a person existed for me in the remainder of my life that would be like Hazrat Abu Bakr Siddique (ratu) was for the Prophet (peace be upon him). I knew of the enhanced effect upon the heart, intensifying its attention towards God in the company of a Spiritual Master but in this case Hazrat Abu Bakr (ratu) was the disciple. He was a childhood friend, then a Companion.

 

The hadith made me want to ask for a love, a first love, that would be a cause for focus upon my Lord, take me closer to Him. I knew it wouldn’t be coming from wealth or children, people’s general go-to for happiness.

 

For the Quran says as often as it was a blessing, it was a trial. The word most alerting to the two was startling; “fitna.”

 

إِنَّمَا أَمْوَالُكُمْ وَأَوْلَادُكُمْ فِتْنَةٌ وَاللَّهُ عِندَهُ أَجْرٌ عَظِيم

 

Indeed, your wealth and your children are but a trial for you,

whereas with God there is a great reward.

 

Surah At-Taghabun, Verse 15

 

So I began to wonder, was it even possible?

 

In the days before Karachi, I had started working with some local orphanages situated in the outer neighborhoods of Lahore. It was an entirely new thing for me. In my life I had had different kinds of experiences when it came to working with different community-based organizations, doing charitable work. I had even done it for money (in a job) post 9/11.

 

At the time I was living in New York and I worked with what was mostly the Muslim-Arab population in Brooklyn and Queens whose lives were permanently altered by the disaster. The work was easy. I used to present cases for financial assistance on behalf of mostly the disaster-impacted women before various Charities, mostly Christian.

 

Some of them had a rule to not help Muslims at all, deeming them to be the cause of the catastrophe but most were not only sensitive but also extremely generous. My salary that year in 2001 was less than what I had made post-college, 10 years earlier, working at a management consulting firm but the work was the most meaningful of my life up to that point.

 

Other than that I had tried to do things as I learnt them from the Friends of God. Feeding the hungry has topped my list since I started it a few years ago, courtesy of Ghaus Pak (ra). Other things had been the usual for Pakistanis; helping an indigent family with a marriage, paying for a child’s tuition, taking care of someone’s medical bill, buying blankets in the winter and distributing clothes seasonally. It was a little bit of everything that a lot of people did.

 

Then earlier this year for the first time in my life I made the intention to “honor” the orphan as the Quran instructs. To that end in the fall I visited three orphanages in Kaana on the day of the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) birthday. One of my rich friends, after hearing about the trip, offered to adopt one of the orphanages. It was an excellent idea since it didn’t seem anyone might adopt a child. There were no babies. The youngest child was five.

 

All three orphanages were run by people who lived in the neighborhood and were by no means of wealth. No foundations, no NGOs. There reason for starting the work was personal concern for the children or to give the blessings of the work to a family member who had passed away. One of the women who had started what was a shelter for widows and their children was in her early 30s. She wanted to send the reward of her effort to her younger brother who had passed away from cancer recently.

 

She was married and had three sons of her own, the eldest of whom was 15. She told me laughingly she had developed diabetes because of the stress of the work, not knowing how each month’s needs would be met. All three orphanages relied on the generosity of family friends or posted their needs on their social media accounts which were then met by "the kindness of strangers."

 

I told my friend. If she was going to take over the running of the place then the point should be to elevate the standard of living for the children, not just maintain it. Stressfully or otherwise, they were already sustaining themselves. The houses were old, the living was cramped. There were 4-5 kids in a single room which was small. Hot running water was scarce. There was no room dedicated to play or study. There was no room at all! My friend agreed and they were off. That’s the thing about being rich, I noticed. Things happen overnight!

 

Appliances, including a tv, a washing machine, a microwave, gas heaters, mattresses, blankets, a set of clothes, socks and shoes arrived the next day. Someone was assigned to look for a bigger home. The donor wanted to paint the new place, get new furniture. Make it nice. I was the middleman so to speak. If there was any concern on either end, I communicated it to the other party. Both sides were excited and happy. We will see what happens.

 

For my part I wanted to hang with the kids. To that end I planned a day in the park. It was November. Lahore was in a corona hike but the sun was gorgeously warm and the days bright and sunny. The parks were empty, schools were closed.

 

Along with a young man, Saad, I arranged for a picnic in Model Town park, the nearest one to the orphanage that was the newest of them all having just opened their doors in July. There were 18 kids. I had once before gone to the house to teach them Pictionary. I thought we had given them the game but that turned out to be wrong.

 

I had arrived with a white board and markers of all colours, only to realize that we had to wing it. But the kids ended up writing words for the other team to draw and it was a hilarious afternoon. Then I only interacted with the older boys and girls. Saad was playing Jenga with the little ones. On the day of the picnic, I had thought of games for everyone to play together beforehand.

 

Playing with a child is not for all adults. I know few who can do it with their own children. It’s a natural skill and it cannot be acquired. Saad brought a couple of frisbees and a badminton set. When I arrived at the park with Qari Sahib, my only invited guest, the kids were still on their way. Qari Sahib and I decided to walk around. It was a gorgeous day. The grass was soft and green, the trees majestic. It was my first time there. I’m a Jinnah Gardens fan and being a creature of habit always end up there.

 

A little while later the kids arrived in their bus. I waved to them from where I was and all 18 of them made a dash for me yelling, “As-Salam Alaikum Aapi.” It was definitely a giant group hug with no social distancing possible, unless I planned to sprint away from them. Which would have been weird as hell!

 

First we played Tag and Hide n Seek. Then L.O.N.D.O.N which is a game we used to play as kids in the boarding school. I had wondered once if it had anything to do with the rich being obsessed with the city for the remainder of their lives?

 

The game could be played anywhere. One person stood near a wall, in this case tree, and yelled the spelling of the word while the others ran towards them. As soon as the word was uttered and the person turned around, everyone had to freeze. Then if they could make them laugh or move, they had to move back to the starting point. The goal was to reach the wall. Become the person yelling L.O.N.D.O.N.

 

Making all 18 of them laugh turned out to be easy. Even the ones who bent their heads all the way down to avoid eye contact or covered their mouth with their little hands. With lightening speed I went from one child to the next, making some dumb crack that made them giggle.

 

Then the little kids spotted some rides in one side of the park so we all moved there. The rides were rundown and not fast at all but everyone wanted to try them. There was a jumping castle and some went there. Qari Sahib and I started played frisbee.

 

Lunch arrived. We sat in a huge circle on the grass and starting eating our boxes of rice, half biryani, half zarda. It was yummy. While we sat there I asked Qari Sahib to tell the kids something about Ghaus Pak (ra). It was the 11 of Rabu Thani, the day of his Urs (death anniversary). It was a deliberate choice to come on that day. I wanted to mark my happiness of the celebration with a supposed good deed. Qari Sahib didn’t say much, only one line. Ghaus Pak never told a lie in his life.

 

I decided to tell the kids the story of him as a child when he was going away from his mother to study. He was in his teens. His mother had stitched his money in a hidden pocket under his shirt. He was in a caravan but traveling by himself. In the night the caravan was attacked by dacoits. The robbers asked everyone, one by one, if they had any money.

 

When they came to him, the boy replied in the affirmative. The robber searched hum but could not find anything so repeated the question. Again Ghaus Pak (ra) said “Yes.” When they still couldn’t find anything, he turned his shirt over and showed them the pocket with his coins. The robbers were amazed.

 

“Why are you telling us this when you know we will take it from you?” they asked.

 

He simply replied, “Because my mother told me never to lie.”

 

I looked at the kids as I related the incident in Urdu. They listened intently to each word like a child does when being told a story. I didn’t know the end.

 

“So what happened then Qari Sahib?” I reverted to my teacher.

 

From outside the circle he uttered a single line, “They repented. And gave up being robbers.”

 

After lunch we all played frisbee. Some were better than others. I noticed how the older children were gentle and kind with the younger ones. When a little boy couldn’t finish their food or stopped eating, an elder boy would be told to help them and they did. When a little girl, who had taken her shoes and socks off to play on the grass, couldn’t put them back on and I just stared at her, an older one ran over to help her without being asked.

 

There was no tantrum, no fights, no arguing, no tears, not even a raised voice. Not even when someone was doing something another kid wanted to do. In my life and circle of society, I had only always seen that if a younger child wanted something an older sibling or cousin possessed, all they had to do was wail and the older kid was immediately ordered to hand it over. There was not a single sound in all the hours we were there that was the sound of being upset.

 

The kids all called the woman who ran the orphanage with her husband “Mama.” I thought it was striking. I had expected it would be “Aunty” or “Khala” or something. Anything that created a degree of separation, marked that they were not hers. She was not entirely theirs. She had two children of her own, a boy and a girl, who were 14 and 15. But they all called her “Mama.” I guess that’s how she took care of them.

Her tone was gentle, her demeanour soft. When they first arrived she told me she had almost not come.

 

“Why?” I asked.

 

“My foot was hurting so much,” she said, “I couldn’t even step on it. I don’t know what happened. So I told the children today you go without me and next time I will come with you.”

 

Then she smiled. They were all around her hearing her relate the story.

 

“’No, no they said to me. We will not go without you Mama.’

 

Then they said a prayer for me and look, here I am. No pain at all anywhere.”

 

The kids were all beaming.

 

It was Friday. Qari Sahib had already missed all the calls to prayer to go a Mosque. I suggested he lead us all for Zuhr right there. That’s when I found out that half the kids were Christian. Me and a couple of the girls lined up behind a few boys. After the prayer, the kids spotted some jungle jim structures in another side of the park and ran over.

 

I wanted to read the rest of the prayer so I found a quiet spot. It was then that I thought maybe I might like to ask God for something. When a king celebrates a happy occasion, gifts are given to the entire kingdom. It was a big day indeed and I kept thinking of Ghaus Pak (ra). What Qari Sahib had said about him in the class from the day before which had been dedicated to him: “Ask Allah for things, for what you want Ghaus Pak (ra) says. For it is in the Quran:

 

وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ٱدْعُونِىٓ أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ ۚ

 

And your Lord says, “Call upon Me and I will respond to you.

 

Surah Al-Ghafir, Verse 60”

 

That afternoon taking in the sun while I prayed, I wondered if I should ask for that love finally that didn’t distract me. But In the past, whenever I asked for things I got them so quickly, I was now careful to ask. Mostly because a few times in the course of my life, as soon as my wish had been granted, I had myself destroyed what I had received, kicking it in the face. Sometimes within days of receiving it. The insanity of the action had once given me a nervous breakdown. Now I was hesitant.

 

Setting the matter aside, I decided to head home. We had been in the park for over three hours. I went up to some of the kids who were closer to me to say goodbye.

 

“I’m going to leave now,” I said waving and smiling at them. “I’ll see you guys next time.”

 

They all waved and smiled back at me. Then one little kid, who must have been five, turns around and not even looking at me, quietly says, “Khiyaal se jaana Aapi.” Which just means “Get home safely Aapi,” the term of endearment being the word for an elder sister.

 

I let out a laugh. It was so funny to me that a child as young as that was telling a 50 year old to do anything safely. I left with Qari Sahib. For the next several days, I couldn’t get that line out of my head. I told everyone I met the story. Each person was visibly moved. One friend of mine who never ever cries burst into tears. But they all said the same thing; the child wanted me to be safe because I had been kind to her and she wanted me to be alright so perhaps we would meet again.

 

But every time I heard people say that my heart disagreed with them. If someone had asked me what I had given and received that day, if I were to weigh the two, I would have said, “I gave my time, my emotional energy, my physical energy. I gave some money, I taught the kids something. I played with them. I prayed with them.” And what did I get in turn? “I got four words from a child.”

 

I felt that way because it was not a prayer, yet it felt like an utterance of a prayer. But even more than that because it was a prayer way beyond her years. I have been lucky enough to receive prayers from many in my life. Some out of love, some out of gratitude. Never did a prayer sound so beautiful to my heart than the one I heard that day.

 

The nisbat, association, of the orphan child with the Beloved of God (peace be upon him) who was an orphan himself is the most intense of all. I had noticed that almost all the Auliya e Karaam, the Friends of God, shared that nisbat with him. They lost their fathers in the early years of their lives, if not before birth.

 

I told my friends who had adopted children to always tell them who they shared the most painful part of their identity with. As often as they could. There always came the time when they might wonder who they belonged to at birth and when the pain from that loss or the sadness of not knowing them would set in, it would be a balm. Like no other, in fact, if you were able to tell yourself that the one you were similar to, so distinctly, in a way that hardly anyone else in the world was, was the reason the Universe existed.

 

In the weeks that followed I planned different activities with the children and my attachment to them started becoming more intense, especially with the little ones. As did theirs. In those days I was reading Al-Fath Ar-Rabbani, the discourses of Hazrat Ghaus Pak (ra). In one of his sermons he explained to me why the loves of the world are so distracting. The world itself is just a distraction.

 

Huzoor Pak (peace be upon him) said, “Visit the sick and participate in funerals for they will remind you of the Afterlife.”

 

Ghaus Pak (ra) says that the purpose of these words is to highlight that humans run from the thought of their life after death and make the world and all in it their beloved.

 

“But the price of that love, superficial, is that soon, there will come between you and the same world, obstacles which, without your say, will be out of your control. What you are happy about will be taken from you and instead of happiness, suffering will prevail.

 

People will only steal your heart, your faith, your goodness and make you a “mushrik” because you will associate them with God and become forgetful of Him. And if you cannot do without material things, then ask Him for them and not others because what Allah dislikes the most is when even the meager wants of the world are asked of others instead of Him.”

 

It was in the days I was in Karachi taking in the sun for hours a day before returning to Lahore where it would not appear for another month or so, that I started writing my piece for Maulana Rum (ra). In my reading, I came across a story in the Masnavi in which he explained the concept of asking for anything, even in the world, from Allah alone.

 

In the time of the Prophet Dawood (as), the story of the man who wanted his livelihood without working.

 

All day long he prayed and pleaded to God for only one thing, “Dear Lord, grant me livelihood from the Unseen and without the hardships of working and earning.” His prayer became well known amongst the people in the area and they resented him for it. They labeled him as lazy and worthless but he was unaffected by their attitude of condescension towards him.

The one who seeks will ultimately find; Allah listens to everyone’s prayers and fulfills their ask.

 

One day the door of his house flung open and a large cow burst in. The man was elated. He grabbed the cow, took it to the butcher and had it cut up for the meat. When the owner of the animal came searching for it and found his cow dead, slaughtered, he let out a wail.

 

The man told him not to create such havoc. “For years I have been asking Allah to grant me rizq and now my prayers have been answered.” Livid, the owner grabbed the man. First he beat him then took him before the Prophet Dawood (as) to have him punished and to seek justice.

 

The owner stated his case, then turned to the man asking the Prophet (as) to ask him why he committed such a crime. The man simply said, “All my life I have never touched the property of another. I have never stolen anything. I have never given trouble to a soul in the city. For several years now it has been my practice that I have prayed to God to grant me livelihood without having to toil for it.

 

Every man, woman and child in the area knows of this prayer of mine. After years my voice was heard. The cow came into my house. When I saw it my heart was ecstatic. I knew my prayers were answered so I took it to the butcher and had it slaughtered it to express my gratitude to The One who sent it to me.”

 

Addressing the accused, Hazrat Dawood (as) said, “Give a better argument for what you have done. From what is being said, it is clear you neither bought the cow nor was it given to you by its owner.”

 

Upon hearing his words echoing the sentiment of everyone else surrounding him, the man turned his face towards the sky and pleaded, “O Knower of the pain in my heart! Reveal to Your Prophet the truth of my words so he can become aware of the reality.”

 

His cries were so full of anguish, Hazrat Dawood’s (as) heart was deeply affected. He told the owner of the cow he would render his decision the next morning.

 

When the two reappeared before him the next day, the Prophet (as) said to the owner, “Do not pursue your matter with this man and forgive him. Allah has granted you a cover for your sins. Be grateful for that veiling and exercise patience.”

 

The owner was astounded. “This is justice? Your sense of fairness is famed from the Earth to the skies, yet for me you give such an unfair pronouncement?”

 

The second time he addressed him, Hazrat Dawood (as) said, “Give your wealth to this man. Otherwise all that you have done which was unjust will be revealed and you will be vilified.”

 

Again the man let out a cry and continued his protest. The Prophet (as) once again asked him to reconsider; “O unfortunate one! Stop this spectacle before it is the cause of your own demise. What you have sowed is only what you are reaping.”

 

The words had no effect on the owner of the cow. The people watching also became bewildered. They could not understand why the Prophet (as) was siding with the one who took another’s property, whilst leashing anger towards the one who was clearly the victim.

 

Finally Hazrat Dawood (as) decided that the matter could no longer remain a secret as he had tried so hard for it to be for the sake of the owner. He took them to a tree near the bank of a river. Then pointing towards it he said, “A man was killed her by his servant a long time ago. After the murder, the slave took all his wealth and deprived his family and the orphan children of their rightful inheritance. At the base of the tree lies the bloodied knife that he used to commit the crime and on it are etched his initials.”

 

Upon his command, the land was dug up. A skeleton and the knife was found with the owner’s initials. When he saw it he started trembling. The people watching the scene were shocked and with deep humility, they came before their Prophet. Removing their caps from their heads, they expressed their apologies to Hazrat Dawood (as) for letting doubt enter their hearts.

 

“We became blind and did not hear what you said. And this despite that we have seen so many miracles by your hand. Mountains spoke to you, saying, ‘take me in your hand to fight Talout.’ So you took three rocks and a sling and destroyed the armies of the enemy. The three stones became hundreds of thousands and decimated all. Your hand melted iron to make armour. The mountains echoed the sound of your reading of the Zabur. The hearts of many opened to God because of you.”

 

وَلَقَدْ ءَاتَيْنَا دَاوُۥدَ مِنَّا فَضْلًۭا ۖ يَـٰجِبَالُ أَوِّبِى مَعَهُۥ وَٱلطَّيْرَ ۖ وَأَلَنَّا لَهُ ٱلْحَدِيدَ

أَنِ ٱعْمَلْ سَـٰبِغَـٰتٍۢ وَقَدِّرْ فِى ٱلسَّرْدِ ۖ

 

And certainly We gave Dawood (as) great favours from Us. “O Mountains! Sing with him the praises of God. And likewise, you the birds.

And We made iron soft for him. Instructing him to make full coats of armour.”

 

Surah Saba, Verse 10-11

 

According to the law which the owner was insistently demanding be applied, he was sentenced and the man was given his entire wealth.

 

It was not the first time I had come upon the story. I had read it once before when I was living in New York. I was 30. Then of course I had no clue about the nafs and the havoc it wreaked in my life. Then it had just me reflect on my sources of livelihood.

 

All my life I had strange jobs, if I even had them at all. I use the word “strange” because nerds like me are usually career focused and on some trajectory of “success.” But my mother’s death derailed all that when I was 26 and I never got back on track. Mostly after that I earned next to nothing. But for one reason of another, I lived a life of ease.

 

When I had read the story then I had cried because I felt like the man who was praying for livelihood for years whilst not working. But I had not even prayed for that. I guess someone else might have prayed for me. That was what came to my mind then. Coming upon the story 20 years later, Maulana highlighted something entirely different for me.

 

I kept going back to the lines of not asking anything of people. It was exactly what I had just read from Ghaus Pak (ra) that God disliked it. It was about to play out before my eyes.

 

Whilst in Karachi I desperately wanted something from my host. My friend, her sister, was leaving for Scotland and I wanted to move back into the room I always stayed in.

 

The problem was my host had converted the same room to her own. She had a super early routine of getting up at 6 am with machines whirling to make smoothies and I didn’t want to be near the noise for the entire trip. I’m an insanely light sleeper and I was there for another few weeks. I meant to ask her if it was possible but was hesitant even though the thought was making me miserable inside. Then I read the line and it had a two-fold effect on me.

 

The first made me focus on what I wanted which was so petty, I felt ashamed even asking for it from God. Two, it made me rethink if it was even necessary. I decided to give it a pass. But that night I ended up thinking about it anyway. Each time I woke up, the same thing played in my head like a tape running on repeat. It created agitation for me precisely because I knew how superficial it was. After all the decision to not ask had already been made.

 

The next day I was sitting in the sun reading when my friend walked into the room and announced, “I’ve decided to move out of that room you want and give it to you.” I was so shocked by the words that I just raised my hands in the air and uttered the verse, “Alhamdolillah e Rabb ul Alimeen.” She burst out laughing.

 

Later in the evening I asked her why she changed her mind. What she said was the exact same thing I had been feeling. My reason for not asking her for the room was exactly her reason for giving it to me.

 

“I have done this before. Become fixated on a shallow aspect of life that doesn’t warrant the fixation. The trials I have faced after have been so difficult for me that I just thought to myself, ‘I’m giving her the room man. I can’t even take a chance of dealing with what test comes for not doing so. For being stuck on something so stupid!’”

 

I love those moments. When two people, who are on their own spiritual quests, meet at the same point. Glance at each other acknowledging the moment and then move on. It’s intense and it’s lovely. It happens to me with a couple of my friends in my life a lot.

 

Maulana (ra) writes the Masnvavi in the style of the Quran. A story starts in one place, continues elsewhere and finishes in a third. A few days later I came upon a continuation of the story where the “batin” of the story was explained. It was totally unexpected!

 

“The owner of the cow is your nafs, the ego. It has made itself your lord and master. The one who slaughtered it is your aql, the power to reflect. It becomes hostage to the ego and prays for blessings from the Divine without struggling for them. But the price of receiving that blessing without trial is the killing of the ego, for it is the root of all wrongdoing. And it is impossible without a guide.”

 

رزق جانی کے بری با سعی و جست

جز با عدل شیخ کو داؤد تست

 

How can you ever gain blessings from your own struggles and endeavours,

without the assistance of the Spiritual Master who intervenes for you like Hazrat Dawood (as)?

 

نفس چوں با شیخ بیندگام تو

از بن دندان شود او رام تو

 

When your nafs, your ego, sees you in the footsteps of your guide, it will have no choice but to become obedient to you.

 

صاحب آں گاؤ رام آنگاہ شد

کز دم داؤد او آگاہ شد

 

The owner of the cow, the nafs, submitted when he heard the decision of the Prophet (as), the decision from The Unseen.

 

عقل گایے غالب آید در شکار

بر سگ نفست کہ باشد شیخ یار

 

The aql, your powers to reflect, will only conquer the enemy, your ego, in this battle,

when you are accompanied by your Sheikh.

 

Overtly, the story didn’t just, hopefully permanently, adjust my overt, namely to not rely on people for things. What it reminded me of otherwise as well was that all livelihood and all blessings were always and only received as a kindness and mercy from God. Nothing could be claimed as deserved. Not for an act of goodness nor for devoted worship. Like the story of the man who prayed for 500 years and then died.

 

When he appeared before God, he wanted that worship recognized for his own self, not realizing he was allowed it by God in the first place.

 

Begin excerpt “The Softest Heart”

 

When it came to love for Allah, Iblis demonstrated, without doubt, that worship alone was an insufficient expression of love. No wonder he didn’t try to deter it in others. The hadith that further made the point most beautifully was this:

 

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “My friend Gibrael (as) came to me and said, ‘O Muhammad (peace be upon you), I swear by the Authority who has sent you as the Message of Truth, there was a servant of God named Abdullah who prayed for 500 years on the top of a mountain in the sea. Sprout from it sweet water for him and a pomegranate tree bearing him fruit every night.

 

He performed ablution from the water and ate the fruit, then prayed and asked Allah his Lord that when the time would come for his death, may he die in the position of prostration and be raised such. And his body does not decompose nor does any creature defile it. And so it was. And we (the angels) used to pass by him when we ascended and descended from the Heavens and we knew that on the Day of Judgement and when he will be raised and brought before Allah, He will say, “Let My Servant enter Heaven by My Mercy.”

 

So the man will say, “But my Lord God, what about my worship?”

 

And Allah will repeat, “Let My Servant enter Heaven by My Mercy.”

 

So the man will persist, “But my Lord God, what about my worship?”

 

So Allah will proclaim, “Count My Blessings towards My Servant against his actions.”

 

And it will be found that the blessing of (mere) sight exceeded the servant’s worship of 500 years and still were remaining the many bounties granted him by Allah.

 

So Allah will say, “Take My Servant towards Hell.”

 

The man will cry out, “By Your Mercy, send me to Heaven.”

 

He will be brought back before Allah who will then say, “Who created you out of nothing?”

 

“You did, My Lord God.”

 

And Allah will say, “Who gave you the strength to pray for 500 years?”

 

“You did, My Lord God.”

 

“And who sprouted for you atop a mountain sea sweet water from bitter and pomegranates, which only grow once a year, every night from a tree the entire year? And you asked for your soul to be taken while you are in prostration and it was done?”

 

Again he will answer, “You did, My Lord God.”

 

So God will respond, “This is My Mercy and by My Mercy I made you enter Heaven and the angels were ordered, ‘Take My servant to Heaven’ for you are a good servant.”

 

And so he will be delivered to Heaven.

 

Hazrat Gibrael (as) said to me, “O Muhammad (peace be upon you)! Verily each and every thing is by the Mercy of Allah.””

 

End excerpt “The Softest Heart”

 

Yet the Quran says, in its overt read of the verse, that the purpose of the creation of both Man and Jinn is exactly that: worship.

 

وَمَا خَلَقْتُ ٱلْجِنَّ وَٱلْإِنسَ إِلَّا لِيَعْبُدُونِ

 

And I did not create jinn and humans except to worship Me.

 

Surah Ad-Dhariyaat, Verse 56

 

It was the Friends of God who explained to me that “ibadat,” worship, is not the mere execution of ritual. It is the practice of gaining “ma’rifat,” recognizing God.

 

Ghaus Pak (ra) explains it this way: “The nafs, the self is “zahir” (overt). The “qalb,” the heart within the heart, is “batin” (the inner being). Love is allowed for the nafs, (between the nafs and nafs) but not for the “qalb,” the inner heart. The zahir is allowed to love but not the batin. The batin and the qalb are made so as to only fall in love with God, be occupied by Him.”

 

All types of loss were experience by the “nafs” in its overt existence. Therefore in the verse in which Allah directs us to be patient when a loss is incurred and grateful for a bestowing, it is because the “qalb” should not affected by either. It reacted with sadness and joy regarding the world, only because we had allowed the love to enter the space that was set aside only for God.

 

لِّكَيْلَا تَأْسَوْا۟ عَلَىٰ مَا فَاتَكُمْ وَلَا تَفْرَحُوا۟ بِمَآ ءَاتَىٰكُمْ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ لَا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخْتَالٍۢ فَخُورٍ

 

(Know this), so that you may not despair over whatever has escaped you,

Nor exult over whatever good has come to you.

For God does not like any of those who, out of self-conceit, act in a boastful manner.

 

Surah Al-Hadid, Verse 23

 

It struck me how Iblis lay in waiting just to nudge people towards waywardness in both states. When one was unhappy because of the loss of something, he suggested sin as a distraction, encouraging the self-pity. When a person was happy because of what they had been bestowed with, he nudged towards sin to celebrate it. When God wanted patience for the first and gratitude for the second, he suggested wrongdoing. And most of us went along with it.

 

For what did Iblis want more than anything was for us to emulate him, rather than those who are chosen to show the path leading to God. The same Iblis who himself forgot everything he had been bestowed by the Grace of the Divine when refusing to do that which he was commanded to. Although he apparently remembers every single moment of his life to this day with the deepest nostalgia, he remains insistent on his defiance and never apologizes for it.

 

The Waking of Hazrat Amir Muawia (ratu) by Iblis to say his prayers.

 

Hazrat Amir Muawia (ratu) was asleep one day when he was awakened by someone. When he looked around he saw no one. Then he noticed a man skulking behind the door. He asked, “Who are you?” The man replied, “The world knows me. I am unfortunate Iblis.”

 

Hazrat Amir Muawia (ratu) asked him sternly, “Why have you woken me?” He responded, “The time for prayer is about to pass, O Amir.” Then he quoted the Prophet of God (peace be upon him),

 

عجلوا ألطاعات قبل الفوت

 

'Complete your worship before it (its time) expires.'

 

You should run to the mosque before you miss it.”

 

Hazrat Amir Muawia (ratu) retorted, “You can never want such a thing so as to guide someone. You came in like a thief and now you tell me you are a well-wisher? Why would I believe a thief and then one who claims he wants to benefit me?”

 

Here Iblis uttered the words revealing his envy:

 

‘Once I was ranked amongst the angels and walked the path of obedience willingly. I was the knower of Divine Secrets and a companion of the ones who lived near to Allah’s Throne. As travelers roam wherever they might go, the love of the homeland never leaves them. Who has ever forgotten their first love?

 

I have also drunk the waters from the rivers of The Divine’s Blessings and I have also walked in the Gardens of His Pleasure. He placed His Affection upon me as well, looked upon me with Favour. When I was a child, who fed me and guided me? He did.

 

Once I too was a lover of His Entity and Essence. If then that mighty Ocean of His Generosity rejected me, so what? When the heart is separated from what it once loved, then it learns to value the days where there was union.’

 

تا دهد جان را فراقش گوشمال

جان بداند قدر ايام وصال

 

When the separation from Him softly reproaches, then one is nostalgic for days passed.

 

Whether it was “kufr,” refusal or whether it was “imaan,” believing, both were made by that Power and both belong to Him.”

 

Hazrat Amir Muawaia (ratu) remained unmoved. “What you say is true but you have no part in it anymore. You misguided countless before me. You are fire, yet you expect me to believe you will not burn me? Who has not been deceived by you?

 

Because of your cunning, the nation of Nuh (as) is still burning in regret. You caused the destruction of the nation of A’ad, drowning them in punishment and grief. The people of Lut (as) were stoned because of you.

 

You have created countless trials for Mankind. Firaoun, the philosopher, scholarly, his powers to reflect were blinded by you. Abu Lahab became ignorant because of you. Abul Hikm was rendered Abu Jahal because of you. You are the ocean of deceit, people but a drop. Answer truthfully. Why would you wake me to pray?”

 

Iblis replied, “Oh man of despair! You do not accept the truth despite a 100 arguments. My fault is only that one bad deed has made me renowned for sinfulness. The truth is that if you had missed your prayer, nothing of the world would have remained of value before your eyes.

 

Tears of pain and loss would have been shed. Such crying, this softness of the heart, this intense pain and sadness, would have become the reward of a 100 prayers. I did not want you to let out the sigh that would gain you the deep appreciation of Allah.

 

Remember the man who arrived at the Mosque late and was told by the congregation leaving it that the Messenger of God (peace be upon him) had already said the last “salam.” The young man sighed so deeply, the sound of it shook the listeners’ hearts.

 

One of them said to him, ‘Give me your sigh and take the blessing of my prayer.’

 

The man accepted his namaz and presented his sigh to me in turn. The sigh was filled with such humility and submission, the one who traded his prayer for it attained a higher rank and more. A voice of the Unseen said to him in a dream, ‘In your trade, you have received the best of life, so rejoice!’

 

Your fear, O Amir, of The Divine and my envy are the reason I woke you. I woke you from the fear that your cries of repentance would burn me with jealousy. I am the envier of Mankind. I can never want anything good for them. In this envy I did what I did. I am the enemy of humans. How can I want that any benefit comes to them?”

 

Hazrat Amir Muawia (ratu) listened to his words then said to Iblis, “Now you have told the truth, O thief. In reality, you do not want that I humbly plead before my Lord with sincerity, that I weep tears of regret and repentance because the rank of that sighing and distress is more dear to Allah than anything else.”

 

ﮐﮧ ﺑﺮﺍﺑﺮ می ﮐﻨﺪ ﺷﺎﮦ ﻣﺠﯿﺪ

ﺍﺷﮏ ﺭﺍ ﺩﺭ ﻭﺯﻥ ﺑﺎ ﺧﻮﻥ ﺷﮩﯿﺪ

 

In equal regard holds The Almighty,

the tears of the sinner, repentant, and the blood of the martyr.

 

Now the story of the man who prayed for 500 years revealed another layer. It was no wonder Iblis didn’t care about prayers offered endlessly. For so many they became the cause of smugness. But repentance, he would give anything to prevent a human being from admitting fault or shedding tears over wrongdoing before God. That is what he was really envious of because he knew he would never do that himself.

 

But both the zahir and batin are essential for living in the world.

 

Maulana Rum (ra) says that without the zahir there is no “shariat,” the laws of Jurisprudence and the world is useless. Prayer and fasting are overt practices to express love for God and deemed essential. For even those already friends engage in the giving of gifts to express the friendship and deepen it. Hidden love is revealed through the giving of gifts.

 

And as Uzair says in one of his lectures on the verse of the purpose of creation, our presentation begins from before the break of dawn at Fajr to the darkness of the night at Isha. All worldly activity, be it working, eating, sleeping, is interrupted again and again to make that appearance before God.

 

It was the first time in my life I began to think; if my appearance became one of a gift from my end, as flawed and distracted as it may be, if I thought of it as Maulana says, as my gift of love, before my Lord, what effect would that have on my essence?

 

I am a giver of gifts. I have turned hearts that were entirely indifferent towards me through that giving, most easily when the gifts were in the form of my words. If my prayer became a gift, what would happen then?

 

Whilst in Karachi, I worked on refining the translation of the narration and the kalam for my video with Qari Sahib. For all my other videos the narration had been from one Friend of God, the poetry another. This time both were by Maulana Rum (ra). And why not? Who else had written something that was called by scholars of Islam, the Quran in Farsi, as his Masnavi was.

 

The video started with a verse on Allah marking His Hand as the hand of the Prophet (peace be upon him). The ayat was revealed in the incident of the Suleh Hudaibiah.

 

ۚإِنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ يُبَايِعُونَكَ إِنَّمَا يُبَايِعُونَ ٱللَّهَ يَدُ ٱللَّهِ فَوْقَ أَيْدِيهِمْ

 

Indeed those who pledge allegiance to you, O Beloved (peace be upon you), actually pledge allegiance to Allah.

Allah’s Hand is placed over theirs.

 

Surah Al-Fath, Verse 10

 

The narration I had chosen referenced the verse as well. Maulana had written several couplets on the instances in the Quran where Allah had said that His Beloved’s (peace be upon him) hand was in fact his own. I share just one below, the case of the throwing of the dust:

 

وَمَا رَمَيْتَ إِذْ رَمَيْتَ وَلَٰكِنَّ اللَّهَ رَمَىٰ وَلِيُبْلِيَ

الْمُؤْمِنِينَ مِنْهُ بَلَاءً حَسَنًا إِنَّ اللَّهَ سَمِيعٌ عَلِيمٌ

 

And when you threw (a handful of dust), it was not your act, but Allah's (act), in order that He might test the Believers by a gracious trial from Himself.

For verily, Allah is He Who hears and knows (all things).

 

Surah Al-Anfal, Verse 17

 

But Allah doesn’t have a hand. He is Nur, Light. Yet the words are making His Beloved’s acts His Own as one and the same and Maulana (ra) uses the words Ma Ramayta Id Ramayta in his Masnavi on 15 different occasions.

 

ما رمیت اذ رمیت احمد بدست

دیدن او دیدن خالق شدست

 

“When he threw, it was if Allah threw” with the hand of Ahmed,

Seeing Him is the same as the Seeing of God.

 

It was then that I wondered what Uzair had said about Maulana Rum (ra). I had not heard him speak about him in an entire lecture myself. Upon searching, I found a short 15 minute piece by him on Maulana from 2019. And I can’t say my heart didn’t miss a beat when he started his talk with exactly the same verse that began my video.

 

Uzair: “Inspired by this performance (that preceded his speech), I want to say something about the relationship between the Spiritual Master and the disciple as I have found it to relate to the Masnavi for myself. And that is why I chose this verse to begin.

 

'Indeed those who pledge allegiance to you, O Beloved (peace be upon you), actually pledge allegiance to Allah.

Allah’s Hand is placed over theirs.'

 

The first 18 couplets of the Masnavi are also called the foreword. And the first couplet. which you might be familiar with, is this:

 

کند بشنو این نی چون شکایت می

کند از جدائی ها حکایت می

 

Hearken to this reed forlorn, breathing, even since 'twas torn

From its rushy bed, a strain of impassioned love and pain.

 

And the 18th couplet is:

 

محرم این هوش جز بےھوش نیست

مر زبان را مشتری جز گوش نیست

 

No one knows the secret of this except the lover.

It is a special language only certain ears can hear.

 

In the first couplet Rumi says the neh, the reed, wants to say something, it wants to express something. And in the 18th he says, the only one who knows this consciousness is the one who is himself unconscious, as only the lover is.

 

When the Sufis discuss these beginning verses in their inner circles, they say the first letter “ba” in the first word “bishnu” is the “ba e Bismillah,” In the Name of Allah! And the letter “meem” in the 18th in the first word “mahram” is the Muhammadan Reality. So it is the journey from Allah to His Beloved (peace be upon him).

 

In those same 18 verses, Maulana describes amazingly the seven stations of Man which must be explored. The first is that of a person who is worldly, who is in fact living their life like an animal. From there he travels and reaches the stage where a teacher, a guide, takes his hand so that he moves from the animal kingdom towards an awakening. This is the second station.

 

From the awakening he moves to the third station of" ishq," love. Then from love he reaches towards “khuloos,” sincerity. From sincerity he moves to land in “qata,’” where he becomes cut off from worldliness and all things material. And then there is the 7th station which is the “maqam e tahhur”, the state of bewilderment, where the love reaches perfection, completion.”

 

Needless to say I was surprised to learn that the second stage was the connection with a Spiritual Master. I thought that was something that came in the end sometime. Those of us who were made disciples at a young age by our family, sometimes only as a result of their sheer insistence, suddenly appeared lucky. Without knowing it we at least arrived at the doorstep of stage two, even if sometimes we deprived our own selves by refusing to enter it willingly.

 

Uzair: “I am choosing to speak on these 18 verses that can be explored any number of ways. Although as a Qadri I can be dry,” he smiled, “for a change I am choosing the emotional approach. Hence the verse:

 

إِنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ يُبَايِعُونَكَ إِنَّمَا يُبَايِعُونَ ٱللَّهَ يَدُ ٱللَّهِ فَوْقَ أَيْدِيهِمْ ۚ

 

Indeed those who pledge allegiance to you (O Beloved), actually pledge allegiance to Allah.

Allah’s Hand is placed over theirs.

 

Surah Al-Fath, Verse 10

 

It is the incident of Suleh Hudaibiah when some of the Companions are upset as to why the truce from their end was being made with such accommodations that favoured the infidels. Why was such an agreement being signed? So Huzoor (saw) is sitting under a tree and he says, “Take a bay’at, a pledge of alliegiance, on my hand.”

 

And the Companions do so saying that they will never turn their backs on him, they will never leave him, they will never betray him. Come death or anything else. Allah is so pleased by this promise they make to His Beloved that the verse is revealed upon his heart; “Those who have made this pledge to you” and “innama,” without going into grammar deeply, means “only and only” and “in reality” or “in actuality,” they have pledged their allegiance to God and not to you and it was His Hand upon theirs and not your own.

 

Hazrat Shahubuddin Suhrawardy (ra) says for in his tafseer of the instance that Allah is not found by those who search for Him. He is a non-material Being. But the “bay’at,” a pledge of allegiance to a Spiritual Master, is a thing that if you take it, you can find the Hand of God.”

 

Subhan Allah!

 

“It’s a very subtle reference. That is why these people are iconic. He is saying that you can fast and pray and perform Haj but you will not find Allah’s Hand. But if you give your hand in the hand of the one chosen by Him, you will place your hand in His Hand.”

 

At this point Uzair quoted a hadith:

 

“Although authentic, it is not commonly related and you will see why.

 

ومَن مات وليس في عُنُقِه بَيْعَةٌ مات مِيتَةً جاهليَّةً

 

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Whoever dies without a “bay’at” around his neck, dies a death having known nothing.”

 

The words reminded me of a story from the Masnavi about the instruction given to Imam Ali (ratu) by Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him). I had translated an entire section of it in “The Softest Heart.” As I read it, I decided to translate the rest of it.

 

“The advice from Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) to Hazrat Ali (ratu) that every man seeks closeness to Allah through some form of obedience. And that he should seek His Closeness through the company of the wise and special friend of His so that he reaches his goal quickly and leave all others behind.

 

Continued at www.flickr.com/photos/42093313@N00/50819754552/in/datepos...

 

 

 

Done