The Starts and Stops (cont'd)

Uzair gave another example of why the Sunnah of Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) was from when we were souls. Again the verse was well known. It was when God asked all the soul ever created as they stood before Him if He was their Lord – alastu bi Rabbikum?

 

وَإِذْ أَخَذَ رَبُّكَ مِنۢ بَنِىٓ ءَادَمَ مِن ظُهُورِهِمْ ذُرِّيَّتَهُمْ وَأَشْهَدَهُمْ عَلَىٰٓ أَنفُسِهِمْ أَلَسْتُ بِرَبِّكُمْ ۖ

قَالُوا۟ بَلَىٰ ۛ شَهِدْنَآ ۛ أَن تَقُولُوا۟ يَوْمَ ٱلْقِيَـٰمَةِ إِنَّا كُنَّا عَنْ هَـٰذَا غَـٰفِلِينَ

 

And when took your Lord from (the) Children (of) Adam - from their loins - their descendants and made them testify over themselves, "Am I not your Lord?"

 

They said, "Yes we have testified." Lest you say (on the) Day (of) the Resurrection, “Indeed, we were about this unaware.” – Surah Al-A’raf, Verse 172

 

“Ibn e Katheer, amongst many other Mufassareen, says that when the question was asked, all the souls became quiet for they did not know God. They had not been raised by Him so they were silent. It was the Prophet Muhammad’s (peace be upon him) soul that first said, “bala.”And in emulation of him, the souls said, “bala,” (yes we have testified).”

 

“Wow,” I thought. My first moment of emulation! Maybe this was why Ghaus Pak (ra) says that to some extent we all possess the understanding of our Creator (Fayil Haqeeqi). We had already witnessed Him, heard Him, seen Him. If emulation began in the Realm of the Souls (Alim e Arwah), that lent hope that it was possible again.

 

Uzair continued: “So did Sunnah start then? Sheikh ul Akbar, Hazrat Moeenuddin Ibn e Arabi (ra) says that the reality of Mustafa (peace be upon him) given to him by God is beyond the understanding of human beings. There are no bounds to it. That is why in the Quran it is made crystal clear.

 

When in doubt, when in confusion or contradiction, within yourself or amongst yourselves, go back to him. Do not use your own intellect, do not make your own decision.”

 

يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓا۟ أَطِيعُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ وَأَطِيعُوا۟ ٱلرَّسُولَ وَأُو۟لِى ٱلْأَمْرِ مِنكُمْ ۖ

فَإِن تَنَـٰزَعْتُمْ فِى شَىْءٍۢ فَرُدُّوهُ إِلَى ٱللَّهِ وَٱلرَّسُولِ إِن كُنتُمْ تُؤْمِنُونَ بِٱللَّهِ وَٱلْيَوْمِ ٱلْـَٔاخِرِ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ خَيْرٌۭ وَأَحْسَنُ تَأْوِيلًا

 

O you who believed! Obey Allah and obey the Messenger and those (having) authority among you. Then if you disagree in anything, refer it to Allah and the Messenger, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day. That is best for you and more suitable in the end – Surah An-Nisa, Verse 59

 

The lecture was amazing. I don’t know if for me it confirmed things more than challenged them but it certainly drove home a single point. As far as learning anything related to God was concerned, everything about everything lay in a single human being.

 

Then Uzair started smiling.

 

“But of course those who cannot stomach the fact that there is a dimension of the Prophet (peace be upon him) that is beyond the physical will always find reasons to disbelieve. They will memorize the Quran and read it their entire lives but they will deny its design. They will deny that there is a connection between the Creator and His Beloved (peace be upon him) that is outside their knowing. But the Quran testifies to that too.”

 

He read one of my most favourite verses of Surah An-Najm to make his point:

 

فَأَوْحَىٰٓ إِلَىٰ عَبْدِهِۦ مَآ أَوْحَىٰ

 

Then did God reveal to him what He revealed to him – Surah An-Najm, Verse 10

 

“Why does God do that? He discloses that he revealed something to Huzoor (peace be upon him) but if He is not going to say what that was, why mention it at all? But He does exactly that. Mentions it and then leaves it there that it is between only the two of them.

 

But whoever will believe will believe and whoever will disbelieve will disbelieve. Shahabuddin Suhrawardi (ra) says that the sun sometimes hides behind the clouds but it still heats the fields. It cannot be denied even if it cannot be seen. Whatever you are getting from this world you are getting through the bounty of one persons alone, Allah’s Beloved. He is Sirajun Muneera, the sun that gives light in perpetuity.

 

The Quran says that whenever and whatever comes your way present the difficulty before My Prophet (peace be upon him) because he sees your deeds. And those in emulation of him are the believers and they will see them too because of him.”

 

وَقُلِ اعْمَلُوا فَسَيَرَى اللَّهُ عَمَلَكُمْ وَرَسُولُهُ وَالْمُؤْمِنُونَ

وَسَتُرَدُّونَ إِلَىٰ عَالِمِ الْغَيْبِ وَالشَّهَادَةِ فَيُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُون

 

And say (unto them O Prophet!), “Act and God will behold your deeds

 

and so will His Apostle (peace be upon him) and the believers.

 

And in the end you will be brought before Him who knows all that is beyond a created being’s perception as well as that can be witnesses by a creature’s senses or mind.

 

And then He will make you understand what you have been doing – Surah At-Tauba, Verse 105

 

“There are some whose gaze is not different from the Prophet (peace be upon him) and God’s. because of their attachment and connection to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) to God. They are dissolved in him and he is dissolved in God.”

 

Everything I was hearing cast a new light on verse after verse that I had known and read multiple times. But this was an entirely new layering of meaning. It was where Uzair ended the lecture that was the highest note indeed.

 

“What do you think the purpose of a Spiritual Master is in one’s life? Why do you think a guide is deemed essential? What is the role that he plays for you that is so critical? It is basically only one. To make you alert to your pride and then make it vanquished within yourself. It is to make you face the encumbrances of your ego.”

 

In the days I was writing this piece, the month of Rabu Thani started. The month is significant indeed. On the 11th of the lunar calendar (November 26th in 2020) is the Urs Mubarik of the one who I study most intensively as is evident from his most frequent mention in all my writing in the last few years: Hazrat Abdul Qadir Jilani (ra) – Ghaus Pak. I read his books, his sermons, his exegesis of the Quran.

 

I hope with a burning intensity that my soul connects to his, I pray that he takes me under his wing, I long that my ilm (knowledge) and my shaoor (understanding) are borne from him. His personality is majestic and intimidating. He is both jamali and jalali. One thing is certain; he is dissolved in the Prophet (peace be upon him) and he is dissolved in God!

For me he is a saviour. In my greatest times of difficulty, I have only read to myself a couplet from his famed Qaseeda Ghausia and my anxiety has evaporated before I utter the last words because they always make me smile.

 

مُرِیْدِیْ ھِمْ وَطِبْ وَاشْطَحْ وَغَنّیْ

وَاِفْعَلْ مَاتَشَآءُ فَالْاِسْمُ عَالِ

 

O my disciple! Delve into the love of your God, be fearless, rejoice and sing.

And do whatever you will because my name is amongst the highest.

 

A few days ago, I was saying my namaz at Maghrib in my room. One story kept going in and out of my head. It was an incident that all Muslim children learn about the life of Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him); the woman who threw the garbage on him every single day that he walked down her street. On the day she didn’t throw it, he knocked on her door and and found her to be unwell. He cleaned her home, made her some food and took care of her till she recovered. The lesson in the story for me for 50 years of my life was the same as the first time I heard the story as a child; he was kind.

 

Then quite randomly the incident came up and a friend of mine posed the question; “Why did he continue to walk on that street day after day? He could have easily changed his route. Why did he submit himself to that difficult experience again and again?” Then she answered it herself. “It was because he knew that it was her need to throw that garbage on him. She was old. Her fury at him was for being who he was, saying what he was, propagating a message that would void her entire beliefs, which formed her identity, her existence. He never took it personally.”

 

On the prayer mat that evening I realized that the ones I avoid now because their words infuriate me was indeed a shallow response and no doubt it was rooted in pride. My ego was bruised, I took such deep offense from words uttered by those who knew nothing when it came to the faith. Like the old woman they just held onto their beliefs and I’m not certain if they were even their own. They had begun to fear that the faith they were born into might wipe out the identity they had created and with it their superficial existence in the world. They threw garbage on me and my first reaction was to change my route!

 

I started wondering in the case of the garbage lady, did the difficulty actually befall her or Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him). I used to think it was him but it was really her. He had been taught how to deal with it by his God, his Rabb, the One who raised him. She was old yet still struggling with her demons. It made me feel ashamed. There was nothing to run from except my own sense of superiority that I was masking under feeling attacked.

 

Soon after I came upon a verse from Surah At-Taghabun about trials and their link to faith:

 

مَآ أَصَابَ مِن مُّصِيبَةٍ إِلَّا بِإِذْنِ ٱللَّهِ ۗ وَمَن يُؤْمِنۢ بِٱللَّهِ يَهْدِ قَلْبَهُۥ ۚ وَٱللَّهُ بِكُلِّ شَىْءٍ عَلِيمٌۭ

 

No calamity can ever befall unless it is by Allah’s Will. Hence whoever believes in God, He will guide his heart. And Allah is Knower of all things – Verse 11

 

Ghaus Pak (ra) says that being steadfast on the belief that any disaster or difficulty that comes one’s way comes only by the Command of God is the way to solidify faith (imaan). The one who believes in God and surrenders all their matters to Him, thinks of Him their Caretaker and considers Him as enough, that person’s heart will receive guidance from Him. That guidance renders the heart lit with signs of His Oneness, thus bringing certainty.

 

I realize now that when a trial befalls me through another person, the real battle has only three real players, me, my nafs and Iblis. The test in fact came upon all of three of us. Each just hoped for a different outcome. When Iblis failed himself, he simply engaged with the nafs for his desired outcome. My failure!

 

Uzair ended his lecture: “Hazrat Shabuddin Suhrwardi (ra) and for that matter all Sufiya think the same thing: ‘Think of everyone, each and every person, whether they are a believer (mo’min) or a denier (kafir) as being better than you. Maybe the mo’min who you think doesn’t pray does an act that your worship will never raise your rank to. And maybe the one who doesn’t believe today will become a believer tomorrow and then God might change all their sins to good deeds.”

 

يَوْمَ يَجْمَعُكُمْ لِيَوْمِ ٱلْجَمْعِ ۖ ذَٰلِكَ يَوْمُ ٱلتَّغَابُنِ ۗ

وَمَن يُؤْمِنۢ بِٱللَّهِ وَيَعْمَلْ صَـٰلِحًۭا يُكَفِّرْ عَنْهُ سَيِّـَٔاتِهِۦ

وَيُدْخِلْهُ جَنَّـٰتٍۢ تَجْرِى مِن تَحْتِهَا ٱلْأَنْهَـٰرُ خَـٰلِدِينَ فِيهَآ أَبَدًۭا ۚ ذَٰلِكَ ٱلْفَوْزُ ٱلْعَظِيمُ

 

Think of the time when He shall gather you all together unto the Day of the Last Gathering – that Day of loss and gain!

Whoever believes in God and does good deeds, He will efface his sins and admit him into the gardens with rivers flowing through them where they will remain forever.

That is the ultimate success – Surah At-Taghabun, Verse 9

 

Then he related a hadith I have never heard of before.

 

“Once Huzoor (peace be upon him) laughed. When asked why he said, ‘I saw the last of the ones who was to be sent to Hell. His sins filled volumes so Allah Almighty said to the angels, “Forget his grave sins (Gunah e Kabeera) for now. Present the smaller ones.’””

 

Huzoor (peace be upon him) says, “I saw the man looking scared. He was thinking ‘But what will happen to me once these end and the others are brought forward.’ Once the list of sins was related, Allah Subhan Ta’ala said, ‘We are Ghafoor ur Rahim, so change his sins small to good deeds of the same proportion.’

 

Just as He said that the man leapt up, ‘But what about the larger sins?’”

 

So the point is no one knows what will happen on that Day and who will get what from Allah. But one thing is certain. Pride is the impediment of evolving and it is the gateway to Hell. So the role of the Spiritual Master is in fact singular. To make a person kill their “I.” The ego is the disease that they cure, that one no one can cure themselves.”

 

On a different occasion Uzair had told me that the rulers of their times used to send their sons to the Auliya, the Friends of God, in their kingdoms for their character development. The first duty assigned to the princes was for them to sit at the entrance of the mosque and straighten the shoes of the people who went to pray there. That’s what they did, five times a day, every day, to break their sense of entitlement that was in fact written in their destiny. It’s too bad the rich parents of today’s time had nowhere to send their kids.

 

Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) said that the one with an iota of pride in their heart would not enter Paradise. He loved the poor, he lived with the poor, he lived like them. He chose weakness over strength. He embraced humility, he called it his pride. He also said that the more one bent, humbled themselves, to please God according to their own effort, the more they would be raised by their Lord according to His Desire.

 

Ghaus Pak (ra) says that zuhd, detachment from the superficial attractions in this world, cannot be created nor can it be achieved by oneself. It needs time and the emulation, the obedience, being in service of the Friends of God.

 

فَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ مَا ٱسْتَطَعْتُمْ وَٱسْمَعُوا۟ وَأَطِيعُوا۟ وَأَنفِقُوا۟ خَيْرًۭا لِّأَنفُسِكُمْ ۗ وَمَن يُوقَ شُحَّ نَفْسِهِۦ فَأُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْمُفْلِحُونَ

 

So be mindful of God as much as you can. Hear and obey and be charitable. For he who is safeguarded from their own selfishness, they are the successful ones – Surah At-Taghabun – Verse 16

 

In Surah Yaseen is a line I am drawn to because it states again the condition to be able to take heed from Allah’s Beloved (peace be upon him) starting with the word “innama”, only and only.

 

إِنَّمَا تُنذِرُ مَنِ ٱتَّبَعَ ٱلذِّكْرَ وَخَشِىَ ٱلرَّحْمَـٰنَ بِٱلْغَيْبِ ۖ فَبَشِّرْهُ بِمَغْفِرَةٍۢ وَأَجْرٍۢ كَرِيمٍ

 

You, O Beloved, can only and only warn the one who follows the message and stands in awe of The Merciful even though He is beyond perception. So give him good news of forgiveness and a generous reward – Surah Yaseen, Verse 11

 

Tafseer e Jilani: “The one who will receive reformation and the benefit of guidance from your warning, O Prophet (peace be upon you), is the one who listens to the Quran carefully with acceptance, then obeys its commands, who considers it deeply and reads it with truthfulness. It is the one who gains advice from the advice it gives, the examples it presents and learns from the lessons others suffered out of their waywardness.

 

It will be the one who is afraid of Allah’s Anger and Retribution while it was unseen. It will be the one who saved themself from it before it came down because they held the belief that Allah holds the power to punish any wrongdoer at any time.

 

So O Beloved (peace be upon you), give glad tidings to the one who did listen willingly, with acceptance the verses and applied its commands with sincerity in deed, being conscious of God and placing hope in Him. And give them the good news that they will receive the forgiveness which is already prepared for them and awaits them from God and that no deed of theirs will be void or wasted or nullified and the reward for their deeds will be multiplied many fold.”

 

Recently someone in my group class someone asked Qari Sahib to go over the Ayaat e Shifa, the verses of healing. I think a family member was unwell and they wanted to read them and pray for their health to return. The first was this:

 

وَنُنَزِّلُ مِنَ الْقُرْآنِ مَا هُوَ شِفَاءٌ وَرَحْمَةٌ لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ وَلَا يَزِيدُ الظَّالِمِينَ إِلَّا خَسَارً

 

We sent down from the Quran that which is a healing and a mercy for the believers.

 

And it only increases the unjust in their loss – Surah Al-Isra’, Verse 82

 

After we had spent 45 minutes on the first part of the verse, the healing effect of the Book, Qari Sahib moved on to the next verse. I stopped him.

 

“But Sir, what about the second part of this verse? We have the do’s. What about the don’ts?”

 

I already knew, as did everyone else in my class, that the Quran was a mercy. My problem was being unjust to myself. The verse was saying that reading the Quran in that state was only going to deteriorate my situation, deepen my “loss.”

 

Qari Sahib gave the tafseer of the verse from Ghaus Pak (ra).

 

“The healing from the Quran will come to those who will gain ability (taufeeq) from the honor (sharf) of following and obeying Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him). Then according to their own level of capability to be obedient, they will gain guidance and the secrets and signs in the Book will be unveiled to them.

 

The zalim, the unjust, are the ones who transgress the boundaries set by Allah as well as disobey His Commands out of denial and pride. But the injustice is upon themselves because for them the Quran becomes a means of loss ever deepening. The khassara is that these people deny hikmat, which in this case means the purpose of their own creation which was to gain ma’rifat, recognizing God and to believe in Tauheed, His Oneness.”

 

Sometimes I can’t stop sighing. I feel like a rat running around in circles. Or that guy from Memento who kept forgetting everything every 10 minutes. I make the same mistakes again and again. Nothing sticks. In those times, Uzair’s words ring in my head.

 

The verses of the Quran have a singular purpose, and that is to elevate the human being in terms of their behavior, develop their character. And anyone who enters this realm with the intention to learn will never return without being changed.

In those days I feel like my heart is the darkest night, no shades of gorgeous midnight blues, just an abyss. No stars, no moon in sight, just a waiting, a longing for a shooting star, for that one flash of light to come, even if it has to disappear. Then my friend Abida happens to send me something that felt like a reprieve.

 

It was poetry written by Hafiz Shirazi, a Master. In it he addresses Hazrat Yaqoub, the Prophet Jacob (as), who was separated from his beloved son, Hazrat Yousaf (as), the Prophet Joseph, for 40 years. For those decades they were apart, as a father he felt his son was alive, but he didn’t know anything more than God wanted him to know. In translating it I understood that every moment experienced was carefully chosen and came in the time it was destined to come.

 

یکی پرسید از آن گم کرده فرزند

که ای روشن گهر پیر خردمند

 

Someone asked him, the one who lost his son,

O sage who is wise and enlightened with intelligence!

 

ز مصرش بوی پیراهن شنیدی

چرا در چاه کنعانش ندیدی؟

 

You smelt the shirt coming for you from Egypt.

Then why did you not see him in the well in Canaan (your own town)?

 

بگفت احوال ما برق جهان است

دمی پیدا و دیگر دم نهان است

 

So he answered, “Our matters are like the lightening strikes of the Universe,

which appear rarely and disappear at once.

 

گهی بر طارم اعلی نشینیم

گهی بر پشت پای خود نبینیم

 

Sometimes we are seated in the highest station (nearness to God),

sometimes we cannot even see the top of our own feet.

 

اگر درویش در حالی بماندی

سر دست از دو عالم برفشاندی

 

If the seeker stayed in the same state at all times,

then he would become withdrawn from this world and the Hereafter.

 

Last week I began working on a new video for the Urs Mubarik. The kalam was Hazrat Sultan Bahu’s, a prominent Sufi saint from Jhang. It was in Punjabi and it was an istighaasa – an utterance of a plea. The verse was renowned but I was not familiar with it. The first thing I noticed was how Hazrat Sultan Bahu (ra) had captured in eight lines what was distinct about Ghaus Pak (ra); he was the Saint of the saints, he was Allah’s Beloved, anything he asked of God he received.

 

Only two people, other than Rasool Allah (peace be upon him), are given the honor by title of being called Allah’s Beloveds: Hazrat Abdul Qadir Jilani (Mehboob e Subhani) and Hazrat Nizamuddin Auliya (ra) (Mehboob e Ilahi). While translating the text with Qari Sahib he said something that changed my whole approach towards the meaning of the plea.

 

“Think of the help being asked for not for a worldly difficulty but a spiritual impediment. A state of bewilderment that you don’t fathom and you can’t escape.”

 

سن فریاد پیراں دیا پیرا

میری عرض سنیں کن دھر کے ہُو

 

Hear my plea O Master of all Spiritual Masters!

Listen to my entreaty and accept it please.

 

بیڑا اڑیا میرا وچ کپرا ندے

جتھے مچھ نہ بہندے ڈر کے ہُو

 

My matter is stuck in such a snare of my own self,

that anything that corrupts feels scared treading there with ease.

 

شاہ جیلانی محبوب سبحانی

میری خبر لیو جھٹ کر کے ہُو

 

O King of Jilan, Beloved of Almighty Allah!

Respond to me, rescue me hastily.

 

پیر جنہاندے میراں باہو

اوہ کدھی لگدے ترکے ہُو

 

The ones whose Spiritual Master are kings (before God), O Bahu!

They reach their purpose most easily.

 

That night as I recited the verses to myself in the darkness of my room I wept. Every other time I had made a video with kalam of the Sufi Masters, it was an act of love on my part. I did it in honor of them, their words. Tazeeman is exactly the right way to put it in Urdu. But this kalam, this one had to be rendered ahtiyajan, in a state of need. In territory where even Iblis is scared but I exist and endure, only a plea to a healer would work.

 

And the healer of all healers, the manifestation of God’s Mercy and His most perfect creation gives a way out to all in a single shard of a single date:

 

قَالَ سَمِعْتُ عَدِيَّ بْنَ حَاتِمٍ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ قَالَ سَمِعْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَقُولُ ‏

تَمْرَةٍ ‏‏ ‏ اتَّقُوا النَّارَ وَلَوْ بِشِقِّ

 

Hazrat`Adi bin Hatim narrates that he heard the Prophet (ﷺ) say:

“Save yourself from Hell-fire even by giving half a date-fruit in charity.”

 

“How hard is it,” I thought, “to give someone a sliver of a single date?” But I knew the answer well. My veils were all related to bukhl, miserliness. Emotional, financial. Even though I try and try to be more generous and in fact, have been more so in the timeline of my life, it is my instantaneous response that betrays the stagnant state of my batin and instantly veils my heart. I usually even end up doing the “right” thing but on too many occasions, my initial reaction is reluctance. And what kills me is that it is always for no real reason. Then I feel the tightening in my chest and I reform my action. Whether it comes to money or my urges to restrain the giving of my love.

 

Me, my nafs and Iblis. In a tug of war.

 

I deny or hide from what I have been told and am disobedient. Then I obey. But I wish so much that I only obeyed. Straight off the bat, no hesitation! For bukhl is the most obstinate of the diseases of the heart. It’s the steel covering over mine. Instant darkness! I learnt from a Naqshbandi Master that before one can truly claim submission before Allah, they have to first be able to govern their own behaviour.

 

“Anyone that is stuck within their vices that they cannot stop, that vice is a lord over them.”

 

أَفَرَءَيْتَ مَنِ ٱتَّخَذَ إِلَـٰهَهُۥ هَوَىٰهُ وَأَضَلَّهُ ٱللَّهُ عَلَىٰ عِلْمٍۢ وَخَتَمَ عَلَىٰ سَمْعِهِۦ

وَقَلْبِهِۦ

وَجَعَلَ عَلَىٰ بَصَرِهِۦ

غِشَـٰوَةًۭ فَمَن يَهْدِيهِ مِنۢ بَعْدِ ٱللَّهِ ۚ

أَفَلَا تَذَكَّرُونَ

 

Have you (O Beloved) seen the one who takes his own desires as his god and whom Allah has let go astray knowingly.

 

And He sets a seal upon his hearing and his heart and puts over his vision a veil?

 

Then who will guide him after God?

 

Then will you not reflect?

Surah Al-Jathiyah, Verse 23

 

Shuggy Aunty says the most difficult thing in the world is being one. Even though that state of one-ness is also God’s Essence.

 

قُلْ هُوَ ٱللَّهُ أَحَدٌ

 

Say O Beloved (peace be upon you), “He is Allah, The One.” – Surah Ikhlas, Verse 1

 

I find it easy. I harbor no bitterness around my own state of being alone. I have no disappointments of what might have been but wasn’t. Whether my solitude was chosen for me or by me I never questioned it. People come and go and my aloneness remains and it doesn’t leave me wanting. Often I have deliberated on it to check if I am perhaps saying it and not meaning it but I know it’s true. Because when I asked for anything for myself, it stopped being about this world years ago.

 

This year in particular I have been noticing for people my age (50 plus) that what’s killing them is loneliness. But they are not physically alone. They have children or a spouse, or parents, or are surrounded by others day in and day out. Yet they feel alone. They stopped expressing their innermost thoughts except to themselves, if even that. The words that do leave their mouth are in some form of repetition of an expression expected of others or their own overt selves. Then they became resigned to that state.

 

Despite my probing myself and defining my faults, thinking it caused shift, I was no better off than them. In my dealings with people I failed every day. Through my spiritual journey if my heart hadn’t hardened it hadn’t softened as much as it should have. I realized through this writing that it’s because I’m constantly seeing through a lens that filters right and wrong. Hazrat Mujjadid al Fisani (ra) was right. I’m forever casting others into the pit of munkir and kafir, the deniers of truth.

 

I was recently skimming a piece I wrote a few years ago. In it I was addressing a set of parents in a village in the mountains where I taught in a school for a week. It was the line I concluded my speech with that caught my eye, “The power of our connection with God is a function of our connection with people.”

 

The litmus test of the progress of my spirituality is ultimately how my relationships with people changed as a result what I have learnt about God through His Beloved (peace be upon him) and His Friends. From Ghaus Pak (ra) again:

 

إنقطع ثم اتصل واتصل ثم أوصل

 

Disconnect (from all others)

then connect (to Me)

and keep connecting

then communicate (with all others through Me).

 

And years later I was still choosing “disconnect” each time. There was something wrong. I discussed it with Qari Sahib in depth. Told him about my judgmental prideful reactions to people whose behaviour disturbed me. It didn’t create anger, I was clear about that. Relieved actually but I was left rattled. He pointed me to a verse:

 

أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ ٱلَّذِينَ يَعْلَمُ ٱللَّهُ مَا فِى قُلُوبِهِمْ فَأَعْرِضْ عَنْهُمْ وَعِظْهُمْ وَقُل لَّهُمْ فِىٓ أَنفُسِهِمْ قَوْلًۢا بَلِيغًۭا

 

As for them God know all that is in people’s hearts so ignore what they say (leave them alone), advise them and speak to them about themselves in a gravely searching manner – Surah An-Nisa, Verse 63

 

Ghaus Pak (ra): Speak to them then in private and say that which will be of influence and affect them, that which will bring a shift in their nature and they might take as advice.

 

For me the line meant to just continue to be loving with those I already loved. Meeting them was becoming more and more rare as it was. What was the point of being distant, feeling distant? For Ghaus Pak (ra) also is the one why says that how can one who does receive insight (through their faith as a grace from God) forget that it is a gift, a bounty from the Creator that not all people are chosen to receive.

 

وَلَا يَأْتَلِ أُولُو الْفَضْلِ مِنكُمْ وَالسَّعَةِ أَن يُؤْتُوا أُولِي الْقُرْبَىٰ وَالْمَسَاكِينَ وَالْمُهَاجِرِينَ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ

 

And let not those who possess grace and ease among you swear not to give to the near of kin and to the needy and to emigrants for the cause of Allah.

 

وَلْيَعْفُوا وَلْيَصْفَحُوا أَلَا تُحِبُّونَ أَن يَغْفِرَ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيم

 

Let them forgive and show indulgence.

For do you not desire that God forgive you your sins?

And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, most Merciful – Surah An-Nur, Verse 22

 

I saw where my error lay. It didn’t matter so much whether others had changed or not or how much. I had been taught how to deal with them. I was still in the old mode of protecting myself, my self esteem, from eons before when I had not known how. This time the sidestepping was not out of necessity or fear or harm they might cause me. It was out of pride. A new choice had to be exerted as a poet once insisted:

 

دو رنگی خوب نئیں یک رنگ ہو جا

سراپا موم ہو یا سنگ ہو جا

 

To be of states opposing within yourself is troubling,

so either let your heart melt or let it become hard.

 

Nabi Kareem’s (peace be upon him) gentleness of manner held the key to his excellence in behaviour. And it was gifted to him from God.

 

فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍۢ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ لِنتَ لَهُمْ ۖ

وَلَوْ كُنتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ ٱلْقَلْبِ لَٱنفَضُّوا۟ مِنْ حَوْلِكَ ۖ

فَٱعْفُ عَنْهُمْ وَٱسْتَغْفِرْ لَهُمْ وَشَاوِرْهُمْ فِى ٱلْأَمْرِ ۖ

فَإِذَا عَزَمْتَ فَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى ٱللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يُحِبُّ ٱلْمُتَوَكِّلِينَ

 

So it was by the Mercy from Allah that you were gentle towards them.

 

And if you had been rude and harsh of heart, surely they would turned away from you.

 

Pardon them, ask forgiveness for them, and consult them about the matter.

 

But once you decide on a course of action, put your trust in God. God loves those who trust Him – Surah Aal –e- Imran, Verse 159

 

Tafseer e Jilani: Rasool Pak’s (peace be upon him) gentleness in the verse is marked especially because it was precisely towards those who turned away from him, were disobedient to him and refused to follow him. When they harmed him, bringing pain and suffering upon him, he forgave them. Then he prayed to his Lord to forgive them as well so that for the sake of his ask, Allah would forgive them. Then after forgiving them and interceding on their behalf, he brought them into his circle of advisors. But the finality of every matter lies in the decision made by the Beloved (peace be upon him). Once it has been made, everything is left by him to Allah and Allah alone.

 

After 35 pages and days of agonizing I finally let out a sigh of relief. When the snare is of the self, only the rescue hasty from a Friend of God carries one safely to the other side. Otherwise it’s just stops and starts and a lot of drowning in between.

 

Ghaus Pak says that anything that is for the sake of God will reach its completion. It will be everlasting, it will increase. Anything for any other will not sustain. It will change, it will disappear. So when you try to do something, whatever it is, separate its doing from your ego, your desires and your sinful urges. The act should not even be attempted unless it is is only for God and in obeyance to His Commands willingly, the commands which have been stated clearly with certainty.

 

“Detach yourself from your own self and others and the world and Allah will grant you peace from His Creation, all of it. The condition is only to cleanse your heart from its rust, from your desires and your self. Be with the truthful and Allah will aid you as He aids them. For there is no love except His Love. And there is no tranquility without His Remembrance.”

 

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wh14jE5uueU&feature=youtu.be

 

Uzair’s lecture: www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkbp0n5H_mo  

 

Done