Paddington, Scout and the Poop Scoop

SCOUT and ROSIE: *Grunt and groan noisily as they push and pull an egg flip spatula across the floor.*

 

PADDY: *Peers over his copy of Beauty and the Beast he is reading and watches as Scout and Rosie goes past.* "Oh-oh. This doesn't bode well."

 

SCOUT and ROSIE: *Continue to grunt and groan noisily as they push and pull the egg flip spatula across the floor.*

 

PADDY: "Umm... Scout, Rosie!"

 

SCOUT and ROSIE: "Yes Paddy?"

 

PADDY: "Come here please, and bring that egg flip with you."

 

SCOUT and ROSIE: *Grunt and groan noisily as they push and pull the egg flip spatula onto the sofa.*

 

PADDY: "Scout and Rosie, what are you doing?"

 

SCOUT: "We're fetching an egg flip spatula of course, Paddy!"

 

ROSIE: "I thought that was obvious, especially to a smart and perceptive bear like you, Paddy!"

 

PADDY: "Yes... well, I can see you have the egg flip. My real question is, why do you want the egg flip spatula, Scout and Rosie, and where are you taking it?"

 

SCOUT: "Well Paddy, we are going to repurpose the egg flip spatula." *Nods seriously.*

 

PADDY: "Repurpose it?"

 

ROSIE: "Yes Paddy!" *Nods enthusiastically.*

 

PADDY: "As what, Scout and Rosie?"

 

SCOUT: "As a poop scooper, Paddy!"

 

PADDY: "A what?!?" *Alarmed.*

 

ROSIE: *Loudly.* "Scout said as a poop scooper! I think you might need to get your hearing tested, Paddy!"

 

PADDY: "There is no need to yell, Rosie. I heard Scout the first time. My hearing is perfectly fine, thank you."

 

SCOUT: "Then why did you ask me to repeat what I said, Paddy?"

 

PADDY: "Well it's because..." *Sighs.* "Oh never mind. So why do you need to convert the egg flip spatula to... well... ahem... to that purpose?"

 

SCOUT: "Well, you know Peter, mijn beste vriend, Paddy?"

 

ROSIE: "Who also happens to be mijn prins Peter, Paddy."

 

PADDY: "Yes, I know Peter, Scout and Rosie. What of him?"

 

SCOUT: "Well, Peter was being very helpful at home with Mummy Marian, showing little Romeo how to use the potty chair."

 

ROSIE: "The poop chair, Paddy."

 

PADDY: "Ahem..." *Clears throat. "Yes, I know what a commode is, thank you Rosie."

 

ROSIE: "Yes, it's a poop chair, Paddy."

 

SCOUT: "Anyway, whilst mijn beste vriend Peter was demonstrating how to use it for Romeo..."

 

ROSIE: "Mijn prins Peter got stuck in the chair!"

 

SCOUT: "We are going to turn the egg flip spatula into a poop scooper so we can prise mijn beste vriend Peter out of the potty chair."

 

ROSIE: "Which is also known as a poop chair!"

 

PADDY: *Alarmed.* "But Daddy uses that egg flip spatula to make us eggs every morning! You can't use it to scoop Peter out of a commode! What if you get..." *Looks around and lowers voice.* "What is you get some poop on it. Then the egg flip spatula will be contaminated." *Sticks out cute little pink bear tongue.*

 

SCOUT: "Paddy!" *Shocked.* "Do you think we aren't civilised bears, Paddy? Don't worry we will clean it afterwards!" *Nods seriously.*

 

ROSIE: "And this won't take long, and we'll have mijn prins Peter out of the poop chair and the poop scooper back in the drawer before Daddy even knows it's missing." *Nods enthusiastically.*

 

PADDY: *Looks doubtful.* "I do think it would be better if you just grabbed Peter's paws and pulled him out, Scout and Rosie."

 

SCOUT and ROSIE: *Consider for a moment.* "We think the poop scooper will be better!" *Nod emphatically.*

 

PADDY: "Well I..."

 

SCOUT and ROSIE: *Grunt and groan noisily as they push and pull an egg flip spatula off the sofa and back across the floor towards the door.*

 

My bears Paddy and Scout have made very good friends with two bears in Holland called Peter and Oleg (www.flickr.com/photos/40262251@N03/galleries/721577154558...) and their Mummy (www.flickr.com/photos/66094586@N06/) . Peter and Scout are very similar and have become best friends. Peter loves Rosie and Rosie loves Peter, so they have become prince and princess to one another. Poor Peter was showing little Romeo how to use the commode when he accidentally became stuck! You can see it by clicking on the two pictures here: www.flickr.com/photos/66094586@N06/52981487063/in/photost... and www.flickr.com/photos/66094586@N06/52981434805/in/photost..., or clicking on the pictures in the first comment below. Poor Peter! So Scout and Rosie are off to save him!

 

Paddington is reading my 1921 edition of Beauty and the Beast retold by Katharine Lee Bates and illustrated by Margaret Evans Price, published by Rand McNally & Company in Chicago.

 

My Paddington Bear came to live with me in London when I was two years old (many, many years ago). He was hand made by my Great Aunt and he has a chocolate coloured felt hat, the brim of which had to be pinned up by a safety pin to stop it getting in his eyes. The collar of his mackintosh is made of the same felt. He wears wellington boots made from the same red leather used to make the toggles on his mackintosh.

 

He has travelled with me across the world and he and I have had many adventures together over the years. He is a very precious member of my small family.

 

Scout was a gift to Paddy from my friend. He is a Fair Trade Bear hand knitted in Africa. His name comes from the shop my friend found him in: Scout House. He tells me that life was very different where he came from, and Paddy is helping introduce him to many new experiences. Scout catches on quickly, and has proven to be a cheeky, but very lovable member of our closely knit family.

 

Rosie is Scout's cousin, because like Scout, she is a free trade knitted bear from Africa. She was made in Kenya by one of the Kenana Knitters, Martha Wanjira. She is made from home spun and dyed wool. She was a gift to me from two very dear friends, including the one who gave Scout to Paddy.

Done