"NOW OR NEVER" (an Elvis moment)

 

I grew up believing it was peanut butter and pills

That drove Elvis to his final destination.

Now, I've learned there are worse things in this universe that kill---

And the truth is he died from constipation.

 

His lower intestines, an illustration revealed,

Were twice as big as normal size.

And as such, packed more than a double normal yield.

A difficult situation to visualize.

 

Apparently, his colon was so abundantly packed,

It evolved into a substance much like clay.

God gives us only so much spare room-- that's a fact--

That it's best to empty the garbage every day .

 

So, for four or five months, as his autopsy showed--

No gastroenterologist in sight--

The King of Rock and Roll held on to his load.

As his 'Fecal Express' remained stopped at the light.

 

 

Officially, the record, says it was too many pills,

And a diet embarrassingly poor.

It wasn't, as some said, that "Rock and Roll" kills,

But a heart attack-- from straining, for sure.

 

The other morning, I had my own 'Elvis moment':

A "Jailhouse Rock" in my colon, sang: "Return to Sender".

When the situation was resolved, what I saw with my eyes,

Must have been, I was convinced, "The Devil in Disguise".

In any case, I'm sure most of you have "Suspicious Minds",

But I "Won't Be Cruel", and with a "Little Less Conversation"

about celebrity behinds...

I Think, this poem, I'll end here.

 

B. Kite -- 4/9/2023

 

Done