Its Only 365 Days
146/365: BAD WEEK
25 MAY 14
This has been quite a tough week physically. In my sleep, my jaw basically unhinged itself way out of alignment probably in part due to some crazy sleep teeth grinding. It hasn't happened in a while, but I woke up and my jaw was so sore and my bite was completely off like someone had punched my top teeth to the right. That was part one. Part two is the ongoing drama with my hamstring which I injured during exercise on last Thursday. I can't really drive because it happened to my right leg and so driving/walking/sleeping...all have been nearly impossible. Part three is costochondritis. It has been quite some time since this shite has been this bad. Usually I'm three days of raging pain and then things sort of subside slowly to manageable twinges throughout the day, but this set has had my whole chest and sides on fire. It's the kind of stuff where you can barely concentrate. Massaging the muscle makes it ten times worse, so the only relief I have found is some Icy/Hot. I rubbed all across my chest and side and it took out the immediate burning pain from the muscle inflamation, but I could still feel it internally. Then part four, Chrons flare again which has made my joints swell, particularly my elbows. Again, I tried some IB and some Icy/Hot, neither of which seemed to help that, but my stomach has been an unruly character. So for the past week, basically my entire body has been hurting me. I broke down the other day because everything just hurt so much. It was one of those moments where I really needed a hug.
I don't think people really understand how isolating it is sometimes to just be in all sorts of pain. You just don't want to go places anymore and sit there like some sad sack, but everything hurts so bad, you just get sick of pretending to smile and like everything is okay. I've explained it all to a few close friends, but I don't even think they understand because of course they aren't experiencing it. My beloved parents, just want cures for everything which is what every parent would want, but other then the hamstring thing, and putting that on R.I.C.E., nothing I have has a known cause or cure, so whenever they ask me how I am or if they come to visit, I usually just lie and say everything is fine because I've been to so many doctors visits only for them to test me for this or that and tell me the same thing. I think I'm just sick of talking about it, which is what I did tell my parents once...really, what is the point of saying everyday of the week, hey, I'm in pain, I'm still in pain? People stop caring. They get bored, they don't want to hear the same old story. They just want to hear that you're fine and that everything is perfect again.
I'm probably venting extra hard today because I just really have had zero sleep. I'm exhausted, waking up again in the middle of the night and too uncomfortable to go back to sleep. Frustrated...
146/365: BAD WEEK
25 MAY 14
This has been quite a tough week physically. In my sleep, my jaw basically unhinged itself way out of alignment probably in part due to some crazy sleep teeth grinding. It hasn't happened in a while, but I woke up and my jaw was so sore and my bite was completely off like someone had punched my top teeth to the right. That was part one. Part two is the ongoing drama with my hamstring which I injured during exercise on last Thursday. I can't really drive because it happened to my right leg and so driving/walking/sleeping...all have been nearly impossible. Part three is costochondritis. It has been quite some time since this shite has been this bad. Usually I'm three days of raging pain and then things sort of subside slowly to manageable twinges throughout the day, but this set has had my whole chest and sides on fire. It's the kind of stuff where you can barely concentrate. Massaging the muscle makes it ten times worse, so the only relief I have found is some Icy/Hot. I rubbed all across my chest and side and it took out the immediate burning pain from the muscle inflamation, but I could still feel it internally. Then part four, Chrons flare again which has made my joints swell, particularly my elbows. Again, I tried some IB and some Icy/Hot, neither of which seemed to help that, but my stomach has been an unruly character. So for the past week, basically my entire body has been hurting me. I broke down the other day because everything just hurt so much. It was one of those moments where I really needed a hug.
I don't think people really understand how isolating it is sometimes to just be in all sorts of pain. You just don't want to go places anymore and sit there like some sad sack, but everything hurts so bad, you just get sick of pretending to smile and like everything is okay. I've explained it all to a few close friends, but I don't even think they understand because of course they aren't experiencing it. My beloved parents, just want cures for everything which is what every parent would want, but other then the hamstring thing, and putting that on R.I.C.E., nothing I have has a known cause or cure, so whenever they ask me how I am or if they come to visit, I usually just lie and say everything is fine because I've been to so many doctors visits only for them to test me for this or that and tell me the same thing. I think I'm just sick of talking about it, which is what I did tell my parents once...really, what is the point of saying everyday of the week, hey, I'm in pain, I'm still in pain? People stop caring. They get bored, they don't want to hear the same old story. They just want to hear that you're fine and that everything is perfect again.
I'm probably venting extra hard today because I just really have had zero sleep. I'm exhausted, waking up again in the middle of the night and too uncomfortable to go back to sleep. Frustrated...