An interesting year
TL;DR - It has been an interesting year!
As 2025 draws to a close, I am reflecting on what has been a very challenging year for me whilst remaining mindful that many others have had it a lot worse. Forgive my self indulgence as I ramble on for a while!
In February, I experienced Achilles Tendonitis which was totally disabling and extremely painful, rendering me unable to get around without the aid of crutches for about 5 weeks. That came as quite a shock for someone who has roamed the mountains injury free for the best part of 25 years.
After a couple of false starts, I was able to get back into the hills again and then in May my knee let me down and I was unable to walk again. My physiotherapist informed me that the knee wasn't damaged as such, but had become functionally weak and my muscles had atrophied due to being off my feet during my achilles episode. It is only now, 8 months later, that I am beginning to trust my knee again in the mountains but it remains weak and I have to be very careful.
In practical terms, my long lay off has meant that I couldn’t work as a mountain leader which left me in dire straits financially. Likewise, I couldn’t get out to finish my book which is long overdue. I have 7 routes to complete before I can hand in my manuscript to the publisher. I have had long periods of constant pain which has made performing even the most simple of tasks maddeningly difficult.
The mental health implications have not been inconsiderable and have forced me to delve into my inner world and examine my sense of self.
Could this be the end of my hillwalking and who the hell am I if I can’t regularly spend time in the mountains? What good am I to my lovely Kathy as a cripple?
During this time, I have sought solace and distraction in creating music and settling into my identity as an autistic person while slowly unmasking and unlearning decades of harmful behaviours and negative self talk. I am also currently undergoing weekly counselling sessions. Being forced into such intense reflection has been a steep learning curve but, ultimately, extremely rewarding.
I am fortunate to have a handful of close friends who have unerringly had my back, looked out for me and been there when needed, and none more so than my Kathy.
So, as I look down the barrel of a new year, I am filled with gratitude for all the wonderful things and people I have in my life.
I am fat and unfit, but as I return more fully to the mountains I am so very aware that they are a gift not to be taken for granted.
All my recent walks have been experienced through new eyes; those of someone more able to live in the moment and see the extraordinary beauty in things they once thought of as mundane.
Whilst being a touch premature, I wish you all a peaceful 2026 and hope that like me, you can shake off the useless paradigms which no longer serve you and choose your battles wisely.
Here’s a picture of a very happy me, taken yesterday, and looking forward to all that 2026 has to offer.
An interesting year
TL;DR - It has been an interesting year!
As 2025 draws to a close, I am reflecting on what has been a very challenging year for me whilst remaining mindful that many others have had it a lot worse. Forgive my self indulgence as I ramble on for a while!
In February, I experienced Achilles Tendonitis which was totally disabling and extremely painful, rendering me unable to get around without the aid of crutches for about 5 weeks. That came as quite a shock for someone who has roamed the mountains injury free for the best part of 25 years.
After a couple of false starts, I was able to get back into the hills again and then in May my knee let me down and I was unable to walk again. My physiotherapist informed me that the knee wasn't damaged as such, but had become functionally weak and my muscles had atrophied due to being off my feet during my achilles episode. It is only now, 8 months later, that I am beginning to trust my knee again in the mountains but it remains weak and I have to be very careful.
In practical terms, my long lay off has meant that I couldn’t work as a mountain leader which left me in dire straits financially. Likewise, I couldn’t get out to finish my book which is long overdue. I have 7 routes to complete before I can hand in my manuscript to the publisher. I have had long periods of constant pain which has made performing even the most simple of tasks maddeningly difficult.
The mental health implications have not been inconsiderable and have forced me to delve into my inner world and examine my sense of self.
Could this be the end of my hillwalking and who the hell am I if I can’t regularly spend time in the mountains? What good am I to my lovely Kathy as a cripple?
During this time, I have sought solace and distraction in creating music and settling into my identity as an autistic person while slowly unmasking and unlearning decades of harmful behaviours and negative self talk. I am also currently undergoing weekly counselling sessions. Being forced into such intense reflection has been a steep learning curve but, ultimately, extremely rewarding.
I am fortunate to have a handful of close friends who have unerringly had my back, looked out for me and been there when needed, and none more so than my Kathy.
So, as I look down the barrel of a new year, I am filled with gratitude for all the wonderful things and people I have in my life.
I am fat and unfit, but as I return more fully to the mountains I am so very aware that they are a gift not to be taken for granted.
All my recent walks have been experienced through new eyes; those of someone more able to live in the moment and see the extraordinary beauty in things they once thought of as mundane.
Whilst being a touch premature, I wish you all a peaceful 2026 and hope that like me, you can shake off the useless paradigms which no longer serve you and choose your battles wisely.
Here’s a picture of a very happy me, taken yesterday, and looking forward to all that 2026 has to offer.