bubblesandjellybeans
Spin-N-Win!
I've come to think the only adequate way to describe the joy that is orthodontia is in a metaphorical sense and stealing from the greatest book the world on hell that the world has ever known: Dante's Inferno. Clearly the torture goes beyond your typical dastly duo: toothpaste and toothbrush, beyond the glossy magazines and dreadful waiting rooms, beyond the world of fake smiles and false promises "it won't hurt one bit", beyond the screaming children and balloons, so welcome to the world of dentistry hell.
First Circle: The Quick Check-up. This is the whole "we're sending you to hell because you did not believe, but were still good people" level. Clearly you were a good person, you brushed your teeth, maybe even went as far as flossing on occasion. But they put you through hell anyways. Stick the mirrors in and peer into your mouth. Of course they get uncomfortably close... You know you wanted to count every pore on their nose.
Second Circle: Fluoride Rinse. So if it wasn't bad enough that you suffered through the rest of the above, but you also have to get the flouride rinse. So you made a few mistakes. Maybe skipped a few day brushing or left the floss in the cheap plastic bag that they gave you last time. But Fluoride Rinse! Now you can't eat for 30 minute and of course, you're starving.
Third Circle: Sealances. So maybe you've blown it a few times. Or maybe you've thrown away the entire food pyramid. But now your dentist wants to safe-guard, make sure that cavities don't set in. They want to put in selances. They require laughing gas in funny pink noses that make the world hum and your body grow heavy. Then when you come around you discover drool, strange faces, and another promise of endless hunger (for at least 30 more minutes!)
(So I'll cut it off there. I won't continue because I know I'm not that funny, but God, I hate the dentist.)
Spin-N-Win!
I've come to think the only adequate way to describe the joy that is orthodontia is in a metaphorical sense and stealing from the greatest book the world on hell that the world has ever known: Dante's Inferno. Clearly the torture goes beyond your typical dastly duo: toothpaste and toothbrush, beyond the glossy magazines and dreadful waiting rooms, beyond the world of fake smiles and false promises "it won't hurt one bit", beyond the screaming children and balloons, so welcome to the world of dentistry hell.
First Circle: The Quick Check-up. This is the whole "we're sending you to hell because you did not believe, but were still good people" level. Clearly you were a good person, you brushed your teeth, maybe even went as far as flossing on occasion. But they put you through hell anyways. Stick the mirrors in and peer into your mouth. Of course they get uncomfortably close... You know you wanted to count every pore on their nose.
Second Circle: Fluoride Rinse. So if it wasn't bad enough that you suffered through the rest of the above, but you also have to get the flouride rinse. So you made a few mistakes. Maybe skipped a few day brushing or left the floss in the cheap plastic bag that they gave you last time. But Fluoride Rinse! Now you can't eat for 30 minute and of course, you're starving.
Third Circle: Sealances. So maybe you've blown it a few times. Or maybe you've thrown away the entire food pyramid. But now your dentist wants to safe-guard, make sure that cavities don't set in. They want to put in selances. They require laughing gas in funny pink noses that make the world hum and your body grow heavy. Then when you come around you discover drool, strange faces, and another promise of endless hunger (for at least 30 more minutes!)
(So I'll cut it off there. I won't continue because I know I'm not that funny, but God, I hate the dentist.)