Back to photostream

self portrait 14-disappearing

self portrait 14-disappearing

 

mixed media on wood: water color paint, old photographs, stamps

 

12" X 12"

 

jennifer beinhacker

jenniferbeinhacker.com

art outside the edge

 

EXPLANATION OF THIS ART PIECE

 

my mother died 10 october 2014 at age 96 1/2 years old .

my father died 20 september 2015 at age 95 and 11 months years old.

i was devoted to my parents. i feel their absence deep within me.

 

i feel like i am disappearing........all of the people who knew me through my very happy childhood are gone......my parents, my beloved in-laws, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, family friends.

 

all of the people who have/had shared my childhood and enriched me with their love....who had/have the memories of me growing up......all who made up the fabric of my life......all are gone.

 

yes, there are people who know me....my husband of 45 years....who i grew up with starting at age 5, my son who knows me from his childhood on, my beloved granddaughter, age 11, who knows me through the prism of her childhood.......but all others.........no longer here to have the memories of me.

 

i share my myriad number of photographs of my life with my granddaughter so she will know me as i am....and as i was.....and tell her all the stories about me (and she loves to hear them!)........but the ones who were actually with me as i was growing up........are gone.

 

this feeling is a reaction, i am sure, to the death of my mother a year ago and to the recent death of my father.........i imagine, i hope, that this feeling of disappearing will lessen over time.

 

but..........once i am gone.......who will remember me..........

 

will i just be a box of photographs on a dusty shelf........

 

i feel as if i am disappearing..........

 

 

 

13,653 views
49 faves
171 comments
Uploaded on April 19, 2009
Taken on October 23, 2015