shy

So.What makes me write this is that I´m just so annoyed by myself!! I always fear so damn much what others could think about me.Everytime I tell myself to be more confident....BUT IT DOESN`T WORK! I´m so unsure of myself that I can´t:

-take pics (that are no snapshots) of any other people than me

-let somebody else take my picture(only my sis can do it but i´m just smilin shy like an idiot then..)

-take a picture when somebody is looking

-doing more special pictures if someone is even in the house and could come into my room

-subscribe or fave someone´s photos (and if I do I always think his/her gorgeous photo/stream will be stained (don´t know if its the right word) just by someone who´s as ugly and untalented as me!)

-tell anybody,that I know, about this stream,because i fear they would laugh about me.And that means I cant put all the pictures of my sister or anybody else on it because I would have to ask her before I publish her on the Internet, what means I would have to tell her about this stream.

-ask anybody in real life how to take better photos because he/she would want to see mine first.

-ask anybody in Internet because I just can´t do it! I am too bad,bad,bad to make anybody waste his time with helping me(but I think I wouldn´t understand it anyway because I don´t know enough English for that)

 

All of this means,that getting better is really difficult.But because I have no selfesteem I would never think I could be as good as most people here.

I know that nobody will read this,because it´s too long (one more negative aspect of me - I cant make anything short) but it just feels good to have it written...

 

Done