Two Shirts

to go into my sunflower quilt. I would like to get ready for spring but life keeps throwing me curve balls. I am trying to adjust to post cancer drugs to help keep any rogue cancer cells from taking control of my body. I think my body adjusted to the Anastozole pretty well. I am on my third months of the drug.

Side effects I am experiencing...

night sweats, joint pain, exhaustion...

I started a study drug last month called Pablociclib. It is a drug used for metastatic breast cancer. I made it 14 days with the drug and my Absolute neutrophil count dropped to 700. The next week it dropped further to 500. so they kept me off it. Today I had labs done and the count is back up to 1300 and I am back on the medication as of tonight.

The worst side effects so far were the low blood counts, I developed sores in my mouth first one was on the life side gum line and then on the right side. It cleared up a week after being off the drug. We'll see how quickly it comes back.

My body is supposed to acclimate somewhat to the drug so we will see what happens.

The past two weeks I have cried more than ever before. Wednesday I cried for over 5 hours. I am not even certain what I am crying about these days. I just cry and cry and cry. I felt better yesterday and then had an accident.

I was boiling some water and carrying it from the stove to the sink and I dropped the kettle and it hit the counter and splashed up into the left side of my face. I ended up at ER with a burn from my forehead to just below my nose. I must have closed my eyes because my eyelid is burned but the eyeball seems to be ok. The worst part is just above my left eye brow. Today it has been weeping fluid all day. I had a scheduled appointment with my medical oncologist today and came away from the appointment with a lot of my questions answered. I think I needed to hear from him that I was going to be ok.

I am struggling with working full time but I no longer have FMLA available to take time off when I get overly exhausted or overwhelmed or anything. I am trying really hard to make it until I have job protection back again. I have to give 2 days notice to get PTO for medical appointments and so far the past 3 months I have been able to do that. It causes stress though.

My concerns about family add even more stress. My father-in-law is struggling with dementia and we may need to have him move in with us. I hope if needed we can do it. Family means so much. He smokes which will be really difficult for me. He has become really frail.

There is some fun in the future. My niece Emily is getting married next month and my niece Jenna is getting married in September. Yay! It didn't rain today either! The first time in over a week. We actually had sunshine. I feel less depressed today again I am not certain why. I did not cry once today. Yay! I am hopeful the burn is not going to scar. The redness has already diminished greatly. No skin has peeled so far just the weeping in the one area. My eye itches and feels a bit scratchy. I would imagine my tear duct is swollen. A good night sleep will be helpful. I was given 600 mg of Ibuprofen at the hospital and I took one pain pill last night but I won't do that again unless absolutely necessary. My dreams were about snakes all night last night.

Maybe tomorrow I will finally cut into these two shirts and work them into the sunflower quilt. That is a happy thought to go to bed with tonight. Sunflowers and sunshine tomorrow.

Done