The Bribe on The Death Star
Just as Stormtrooper Bruce's movie night is well underway, everyone scatters when Vader barges in unannounced.
Vader: Hope you will pardon my intrusion, but Paplatine sent me here with a special request. I see you've been reading the paper. Very good.
STB: My Lord, you're always welcome. But I'm not sure I heard you right - Palpatine sent you here? Is he trying to retrieve all the papers because of what you said about his Petting Zoo?
Vader: On the contrary. He asked me to make that statement. He feels if everyone thinks the zoo is dangerous then more people will want to visit it. What Trooper can resist a little danger now and then?
STB: So what does this have to do with me?
Vader: Palpatine wants you for a... how shall I put it? For a secret mission. You can't tell anyone. Not even your friends. Just you, me and Palpatine will know about it.
STB: Dude! You know I LOVE doing anything special for Palpatine! A secret mission! That is so cool. What does he want me do?
Vader: He wants you to go to the Petting Zoo and have an accident while you are there. The bad press will make everyone want to go and check it out. Oh, you must take along one friend, just don't reveal the purpose of your visit. Palpatine says a witness will make it more believable.
STB: He wants me to WHAT! Is he crazy? Oh, I mean of course he's not, but - is he serious? Well, of course he is... but. but. But what about my reputation? I mean think about it, I'll never be able to live it down if I have an accident at the Petting Zoo!! What's in it for me?
Vader: He knew you would react this way. That is why he's sending this pizza and soda, with an offer of free pizza and soda for a year. And...
STB: And?!
Vader: And, if you can keep this a secret, you'll get a free pardon the next time you screw up. It won't even go on your record.
STB: Lemme get this straight. I go and have an accident at the zoo, look like a moron, not tell anyone, and I get free pizza for a year AND the next time I make a mistake it'll be overlooked?
Vader: Don't forget the free soda. So is that a yes?
_____________________________
Viewing large is always fun.
The Bribe on The Death Star
Just as Stormtrooper Bruce's movie night is well underway, everyone scatters when Vader barges in unannounced.
Vader: Hope you will pardon my intrusion, but Paplatine sent me here with a special request. I see you've been reading the paper. Very good.
STB: My Lord, you're always welcome. But I'm not sure I heard you right - Palpatine sent you here? Is he trying to retrieve all the papers because of what you said about his Petting Zoo?
Vader: On the contrary. He asked me to make that statement. He feels if everyone thinks the zoo is dangerous then more people will want to visit it. What Trooper can resist a little danger now and then?
STB: So what does this have to do with me?
Vader: Palpatine wants you for a... how shall I put it? For a secret mission. You can't tell anyone. Not even your friends. Just you, me and Palpatine will know about it.
STB: Dude! You know I LOVE doing anything special for Palpatine! A secret mission! That is so cool. What does he want me do?
Vader: He wants you to go to the Petting Zoo and have an accident while you are there. The bad press will make everyone want to go and check it out. Oh, you must take along one friend, just don't reveal the purpose of your visit. Palpatine says a witness will make it more believable.
STB: He wants me to WHAT! Is he crazy? Oh, I mean of course he's not, but - is he serious? Well, of course he is... but. but. But what about my reputation? I mean think about it, I'll never be able to live it down if I have an accident at the Petting Zoo!! What's in it for me?
Vader: He knew you would react this way. That is why he's sending this pizza and soda, with an offer of free pizza and soda for a year. And...
STB: And?!
Vader: And, if you can keep this a secret, you'll get a free pardon the next time you screw up. It won't even go on your record.
STB: Lemme get this straight. I go and have an accident at the zoo, look like a moron, not tell anyone, and I get free pizza for a year AND the next time I make a mistake it'll be overlooked?
Vader: Don't forget the free soda. So is that a yes?
_____________________________
Viewing large is always fun.