Winter Jefferson
Druid
"Grey Tree" by SuPerBia
It's one of my attempts at an arty pic, sure. And I was googling to see if there was such a thing as a male Dryad to name it, and perhaps some fitting poetry...
But Uncyclopedia spewed up this, and it was too brilliant not to share instead.
DRUID.
"There are a few rules to becoming a Dryad, first you have to be old, and second you have to be a virgin. The Dryads believe that man is a curse laid upon mother nature, and reproduction of this curse should be outlawed. So in their belief it is the mother earth that chooses whether or not a new human (partially anyway) child should be allowed to be born.
The male Dryad must insert his genitalia into a knotted hole in a tree and pollinate the tree with his human life source. Then mother earth will decide whether or not it is worthy of bearing an offspring, and the tree will lower a new baby child, who in turn immediately eats his father, for two reasons; one so that there is not an added effect to the curse, keeping the number of people always balanced, and second by eating the body of an ancestor the Dryads believe that all the knowledge derived will be transferred.
If mother Earth doesn't find the male Dryad to be worthy of bearing her children then the hole in the tree that he is fornicating with will become overly infested with bees. After which the first sting will cause the males gland to swell to a point that he may not remove it from the hole and is destined to be stung until the mother earth decided he has been tortured enough. "
Druid
"Grey Tree" by SuPerBia
It's one of my attempts at an arty pic, sure. And I was googling to see if there was such a thing as a male Dryad to name it, and perhaps some fitting poetry...
But Uncyclopedia spewed up this, and it was too brilliant not to share instead.
DRUID.
"There are a few rules to becoming a Dryad, first you have to be old, and second you have to be a virgin. The Dryads believe that man is a curse laid upon mother nature, and reproduction of this curse should be outlawed. So in their belief it is the mother earth that chooses whether or not a new human (partially anyway) child should be allowed to be born.
The male Dryad must insert his genitalia into a knotted hole in a tree and pollinate the tree with his human life source. Then mother earth will decide whether or not it is worthy of bearing an offspring, and the tree will lower a new baby child, who in turn immediately eats his father, for two reasons; one so that there is not an added effect to the curse, keeping the number of people always balanced, and second by eating the body of an ancestor the Dryads believe that all the knowledge derived will be transferred.
If mother Earth doesn't find the male Dryad to be worthy of bearing her children then the hole in the tree that he is fornicating with will become overly infested with bees. After which the first sting will cause the males gland to swell to a point that he may not remove it from the hole and is destined to be stung until the mother earth decided he has been tortured enough. "