Frankie Decaiza Hutchinson
Becca
1) I go by the name of Becca...I only like it when people from mediteranean countries say my full name cos it sounds more beautiful with a rolling of the tongue...I want to change the way my name's spelled to Rebekah, it's stunning that way.
2) I identify ethnically as half Dominican and half Scottish, I don't know how I feel about the term 'woman of colour', I don't really understand it...at work a man siad he loves my 'half cast complexion', it was so difficult to talk about why I thought that was unacceptable, he siad he wasn't racist and that he thought that a lot of problems to do with how we term each other come from being 'too politically correct', I didn't know what to say and I couldn't be bothered in the end.
3) I think a lot of my identity that I am awre of now and even bits that I'm not aware yet are definately centred around the fact that my mum's from Dominica and my dad is probably from Scotland, I feel really influenced, special and inspired by my roots and by myself, I mean I look at how my mum plus my unknown father equals me and I feel beautiful, I also feel very lost and lonely and confused, the fact that my father is unknown not only means that I don't know half of my heritage, but it also means that I don't know or at least I feel I don't know half of myself...and I wonder a lot how much who I am is influenced by my father...is he in my personality as well as in my DNA and if so how much of who he is is influenced by his 'whiteness' and much of me is influenced by his 'whiteness'? And I was brought up in Englqnd...so how does that influence who I am?...So yes I think about this all the time...
4) I was cycling through Moulsecoombe and some children commented on my hair, they said ' we like your hair', I said 'I like yours too', they started shouting at that point and repeating that they 'liked my hair', so I became something to be mocked, not appreciated cos I was different, and loads of people in cars or on the street when I'm riding my bike say I look like either Macy Gray or like Corrinne Bailey Rae, it's like 'who can I think of that's black and got an afro, I'll put you in the same box, I'll categorise you, I'll put you into something that is paletable to me, I'll put you into something that makes who you are simple and esy to swallow otherwise it might mean stepping outside of their comfort zones to really see me as an individual with a whole bunch of diferent experiences in my life, I mean can you imagin if I said to every blonde man 'oh you look like Justin Timberlake'...how ignorant and how racist...I presume the're identity is the same as JTs, I don't know, I hate being put in these boxes'.
5) At work today's a prime example, I wore a white vest top and only the men felt the need to make fucking annoying comments that I didn't get till another lady of colour spoke to me about it, she said that what this middle aged white man meant when he siad 'you're very hard not to notice today' was because he could see my nipples, another white 20 year old man kept looking at my breasts and smiling at me in a really grotesque way, I felt so self conscious I couldn't even walk properly, and I chose not to wear a bra simply cos its more comfy and the white top I was wearing was the same 1 I'd been wearing for the past 2 days...I didn't want this unwated attention. And I've noticed that only white men comment when I wear my hair out, one man who's in his 70s always says 4I find it hard to keep up with your hair sometimes, you're always changing it' and I really want to say 'well don't look at it then, you don't have to keep up with it, it's like he's saying my hair and the way I choose to wear it is a burden to him cos he doesn't get it...there are other people with different hair styles too, I don't understand why I'm the only 1 to be commented about...I'm so easily noticed...why?
6) I feel like this is the term that probably best describes me, but I don't like it very much, what colour do you mean? I feel more than just someone of colour...I'm several things...
7) I think there's so much going on oppressing us and I don't even know what all of it is..I don't feel able to answer this question very well...
8) What classifies a woman of colour? Spanish women too? Portuguese women too? I don't know...is anyone with a little bit of a tanned complexion a woman of colour? I don't feel like I understand it very well and I don't know if I can identify fully with the term 'woan of colour'...
I feel very confused now...and quite upset particularly as I'm more awre that I'm not valued in this society as an equal, I'm not treated equal, I'm not just allowed to be, people always feel the need to comment so self righteously and I feel more pissed off that I'm an easy tarhet cos I'm a woman so therefore weaker and have some black in me so I'm the curious person...I want to be left alone, invisible like every other white man at work...its a piss take.
Becca
1) I go by the name of Becca...I only like it when people from mediteranean countries say my full name cos it sounds more beautiful with a rolling of the tongue...I want to change the way my name's spelled to Rebekah, it's stunning that way.
2) I identify ethnically as half Dominican and half Scottish, I don't know how I feel about the term 'woman of colour', I don't really understand it...at work a man siad he loves my 'half cast complexion', it was so difficult to talk about why I thought that was unacceptable, he siad he wasn't racist and that he thought that a lot of problems to do with how we term each other come from being 'too politically correct', I didn't know what to say and I couldn't be bothered in the end.
3) I think a lot of my identity that I am awre of now and even bits that I'm not aware yet are definately centred around the fact that my mum's from Dominica and my dad is probably from Scotland, I feel really influenced, special and inspired by my roots and by myself, I mean I look at how my mum plus my unknown father equals me and I feel beautiful, I also feel very lost and lonely and confused, the fact that my father is unknown not only means that I don't know half of my heritage, but it also means that I don't know or at least I feel I don't know half of myself...and I wonder a lot how much who I am is influenced by my father...is he in my personality as well as in my DNA and if so how much of who he is is influenced by his 'whiteness' and much of me is influenced by his 'whiteness'? And I was brought up in Englqnd...so how does that influence who I am?...So yes I think about this all the time...
4) I was cycling through Moulsecoombe and some children commented on my hair, they said ' we like your hair', I said 'I like yours too', they started shouting at that point and repeating that they 'liked my hair', so I became something to be mocked, not appreciated cos I was different, and loads of people in cars or on the street when I'm riding my bike say I look like either Macy Gray or like Corrinne Bailey Rae, it's like 'who can I think of that's black and got an afro, I'll put you in the same box, I'll categorise you, I'll put you into something that is paletable to me, I'll put you into something that makes who you are simple and esy to swallow otherwise it might mean stepping outside of their comfort zones to really see me as an individual with a whole bunch of diferent experiences in my life, I mean can you imagin if I said to every blonde man 'oh you look like Justin Timberlake'...how ignorant and how racist...I presume the're identity is the same as JTs, I don't know, I hate being put in these boxes'.
5) At work today's a prime example, I wore a white vest top and only the men felt the need to make fucking annoying comments that I didn't get till another lady of colour spoke to me about it, she said that what this middle aged white man meant when he siad 'you're very hard not to notice today' was because he could see my nipples, another white 20 year old man kept looking at my breasts and smiling at me in a really grotesque way, I felt so self conscious I couldn't even walk properly, and I chose not to wear a bra simply cos its more comfy and the white top I was wearing was the same 1 I'd been wearing for the past 2 days...I didn't want this unwated attention. And I've noticed that only white men comment when I wear my hair out, one man who's in his 70s always says 4I find it hard to keep up with your hair sometimes, you're always changing it' and I really want to say 'well don't look at it then, you don't have to keep up with it, it's like he's saying my hair and the way I choose to wear it is a burden to him cos he doesn't get it...there are other people with different hair styles too, I don't understand why I'm the only 1 to be commented about...I'm so easily noticed...why?
6) I feel like this is the term that probably best describes me, but I don't like it very much, what colour do you mean? I feel more than just someone of colour...I'm several things...
7) I think there's so much going on oppressing us and I don't even know what all of it is..I don't feel able to answer this question very well...
8) What classifies a woman of colour? Spanish women too? Portuguese women too? I don't know...is anyone with a little bit of a tanned complexion a woman of colour? I don't feel like I understand it very well and I don't know if I can identify fully with the term 'woan of colour'...
I feel very confused now...and quite upset particularly as I'm more awre that I'm not valued in this society as an equal, I'm not treated equal, I'm not just allowed to be, people always feel the need to comment so self righteously and I feel more pissed off that I'm an easy tarhet cos I'm a woman so therefore weaker and have some black in me so I'm the curious person...I want to be left alone, invisible like every other white man at work...its a piss take.