Dаz
15/365 # In the dark
Today . . . I don’t know where to begin. There were parts of the day when I felt like I was going to have a meltdown, write ‘I am a fish’ 400 times on my notebook and run out into the street screaming and trying to swat invisible flies.
It's a work thing - I’m meant to be taking over the team I’m in while my boss is seconded to a major project for 18 months – on the face of it this sounds great, and it is, it’s a great opportunity for me.
Thing is: I don’t think I know what I’m doing.
I’m trying to get to grips with things but today just felt like I was bouncing from one moment of confusion to another. And I can’t see how that’s going to change despite my lovely boss and her (also lovely) boss being encouraging – I know I’m coming up short. I don’t think they realise quite how out of my depth I am.
It’s lack of experience that’s letting me down, and I wouldn’t be feeling like this if I wasn’t preparing to make the step up as I think I’m coping OK in my current role. I just have this feeling of dread that everything’s going to go wrong and I’ll be the goon who’s messed it all up. The trouble is that there’s no one else who can step into my bosses job – amazingly, even though my lack of experience is frightening I’m still the most experienced member of the team apart from my boss. The big problem is that we’ll be replacing 14+ years of expertise with just over a year’s worth.
So tonight’s shot is a visual representation of how I’ve felt all day – in the dark and under pressure.
For even more black click here
15/365 # In the dark
Today . . . I don’t know where to begin. There were parts of the day when I felt like I was going to have a meltdown, write ‘I am a fish’ 400 times on my notebook and run out into the street screaming and trying to swat invisible flies.
It's a work thing - I’m meant to be taking over the team I’m in while my boss is seconded to a major project for 18 months – on the face of it this sounds great, and it is, it’s a great opportunity for me.
Thing is: I don’t think I know what I’m doing.
I’m trying to get to grips with things but today just felt like I was bouncing from one moment of confusion to another. And I can’t see how that’s going to change despite my lovely boss and her (also lovely) boss being encouraging – I know I’m coming up short. I don’t think they realise quite how out of my depth I am.
It’s lack of experience that’s letting me down, and I wouldn’t be feeling like this if I wasn’t preparing to make the step up as I think I’m coping OK in my current role. I just have this feeling of dread that everything’s going to go wrong and I’ll be the goon who’s messed it all up. The trouble is that there’s no one else who can step into my bosses job – amazingly, even though my lack of experience is frightening I’m still the most experienced member of the team apart from my boss. The big problem is that we’ll be replacing 14+ years of expertise with just over a year’s worth.
So tonight’s shot is a visual representation of how I’ve felt all day – in the dark and under pressure.
For even more black click here