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I had a Brother
had a brother, once. Rather, previous versions of me had a brother. He walked this earth for thirty-three years, and left this earth far too soon. I knew loss. I knew pain. Loss and Pain have been constant companions of mine, much of the time I have been spent alive. But I had forgiven them, for all they have done. I even befriended them. I had made peace with them. But this loss and this pain? It has been unforgivable, and some days unbearable. November 18, 2023, deeply effected me and profoundly changed me. Losing him shattered the last pieces of myself, that I viewed as being whole; the only pieces life hadn’t broken. I took this photo of him, when I was first starting out in photography, and learning my way around a camera. I remember the day – not the actual date and time, but I remember taking this on the old Cog railway on my way up to Pikes Peaks. I chose this photo because I want to see others the way he did. He had a lot of faults and could be a real pain in the ass, but he had a heart of gold for those that society deemed ‘less-than.’ His heart was towards those people left behind, such as individuals with disabilities; he even founded a company that supplied individuals with products they needed to meet basic needs. As time goes by, I sometimes like to imagine that he has a watchful eye on me, like he did on earth. It’s because of this loss, I am becoming the person I am, and have found myself living more boldly, taking more risks. The reality of how short can be, shook me and as a result has made me pursue more in life and demand that I achieve what I want. This is loss will always be with me, but I am grateful for life itself and the women I am growing into as a result.
I had a Brother
had a brother, once. Rather, previous versions of me had a brother. He walked this earth for thirty-three years, and left this earth far too soon. I knew loss. I knew pain. Loss and Pain have been constant companions of mine, much of the time I have been spent alive. But I had forgiven them, for all they have done. I even befriended them. I had made peace with them. But this loss and this pain? It has been unforgivable, and some days unbearable. November 18, 2023, deeply effected me and profoundly changed me. Losing him shattered the last pieces of myself, that I viewed as being whole; the only pieces life hadn’t broken. I took this photo of him, when I was first starting out in photography, and learning my way around a camera. I remember the day – not the actual date and time, but I remember taking this on the old Cog railway on my way up to Pikes Peaks. I chose this photo because I want to see others the way he did. He had a lot of faults and could be a real pain in the ass, but he had a heart of gold for those that society deemed ‘less-than.’ His heart was towards those people left behind, such as individuals with disabilities; he even founded a company that supplied individuals with products they needed to meet basic needs. As time goes by, I sometimes like to imagine that he has a watchful eye on me, like he did on earth. It’s because of this loss, I am becoming the person I am, and have found myself living more boldly, taking more risks. The reality of how short can be, shook me and as a result has made me pursue more in life and demand that I achieve what I want. This is loss will always be with me, but I am grateful for life itself and the women I am growing into as a result.