My Kinda Egg
(aka 'Hell Yeah, It’s Mexi!, aka 'Lil TX Rock’)
Hey favorite lil niece
We go way back. Remember your chair disinfecting crusade at Misogyne2? Sanitizing chairs like you were prepping for divine judgment. Meanwhile, I was threatening you - lovingly, of course - with a flat iron and a gentle push down the stairs and through a glass door. And you, completely unfazed, just said: “Oh god, stop it. You’re making me cum!”
Somehow, we’ve perfected the art of flirting with zero sexual tension. Because that would be incest. And if there’s one line we don’t cross - besides international borders - it’s that one. Plus there’s your virginity to consider as well.
Plus plus: Tijuana rules apply. What happened there stays there. (Also, we’re legally never allowed back.)
But here we are - niece and uncle, bonded by excruciatingly bad jokes and mutual emotional damage (mostly recycled and wreaked upon Oober Doms). For me, Little Rock isn’t in Arkansas - it’s in Texas. Because over this past year (which, let’s be honest, occasionally sucked), you kept it real and stood by me and Honeybunbuns like the ride-or-die you are.
I wish you all the masked intruders, hoochie daddies, and mixed mayhem your little black heart desires. (Isak, you know what to do!)
With love
Your Favorite Uncle Hubie
"In spite of ourselves
We'll end up a'sittin' on a rainbow
Against all odds
Honey, we're the big door prize
And we're gonna spite our noses
Right off of our faces
There won't be nothin' but big old hearts
Dancin' in our eyes”
(John Prine)
Perfect duet for us to perform because (1) cowboys, (2) whacky shit, and (3) a very Butthole Surfers reminiscent outro: Viagra Boys (with Amy Taylor) - In Spite Of Ourselves (John Prine cover)
My Kinda Egg
(aka 'Hell Yeah, It’s Mexi!, aka 'Lil TX Rock’)
Hey favorite lil niece
We go way back. Remember your chair disinfecting crusade at Misogyne2? Sanitizing chairs like you were prepping for divine judgment. Meanwhile, I was threatening you - lovingly, of course - with a flat iron and a gentle push down the stairs and through a glass door. And you, completely unfazed, just said: “Oh god, stop it. You’re making me cum!”
Somehow, we’ve perfected the art of flirting with zero sexual tension. Because that would be incest. And if there’s one line we don’t cross - besides international borders - it’s that one. Plus there’s your virginity to consider as well.
Plus plus: Tijuana rules apply. What happened there stays there. (Also, we’re legally never allowed back.)
But here we are - niece and uncle, bonded by excruciatingly bad jokes and mutual emotional damage (mostly recycled and wreaked upon Oober Doms). For me, Little Rock isn’t in Arkansas - it’s in Texas. Because over this past year (which, let’s be honest, occasionally sucked), you kept it real and stood by me and Honeybunbuns like the ride-or-die you are.
I wish you all the masked intruders, hoochie daddies, and mixed mayhem your little black heart desires. (Isak, you know what to do!)
With love
Your Favorite Uncle Hubie
"In spite of ourselves
We'll end up a'sittin' on a rainbow
Against all odds
Honey, we're the big door prize
And we're gonna spite our noses
Right off of our faces
There won't be nothin' but big old hearts
Dancin' in our eyes”
(John Prine)
Perfect duet for us to perform because (1) cowboys, (2) whacky shit, and (3) a very Butthole Surfers reminiscent outro: Viagra Boys (with Amy Taylor) - In Spite Of Ourselves (John Prine cover)