Gregor Vukasinovič
Telemetry
Seer in one way, seen in another: The saying goes, it's not paranoia if they're really after you. In that case, it's called intuition. You feel someone's eyes on you. Truth be told, for most of the time it didn't even feel like someone was after me personally. More after my computer, for whatever reason.
Every time that Windows Anti Malware thing came up routinely once a month or what, saying everything's A-OK... "Um... No. It's not. There is something. Don't know what it is, but there is something." Or when I was driving my virtual trains, flying planes, building cities. Cruising along, performing a particularly well executed (or particularly terrible) station stop. The weird feeling, someone just saw that. Someone's watching me from the virtual secondman's seat, figuratively speaking. Not all the time, not every day, and for whatever reason most pronounced with the train games. But when the feeling was there, it was unmistakable, coming in as an “imagine if” statement somewhere in the back of my head. It just didn't make any sense to the logical mind. Why would anyone do that.
So it must be some strange thing my brain sometimes does. It's a bit misshapen by nature after all, and has taken a beating or two over the years, so it's only reasonable it doesn't work without flaws. I also couldn't tell whether those eyes I felt had friendly or hostile intentions. But then, I never really asked myself that question. The eyes aren't real after all, so that question didn't come up. And knowing what I know now, it wouldn't have been an easy yes-or-no question either. I may well have been interpreting all the mixed signals just for what they were.
Either way, turned out it was all completely true. It's not paranoia if they really are after you. Vindicating and validating as finding that out may be in hindsight - one thing it doesn't do, is make the paranoia go away. I still feel eyes on me sometimes. Nowhere near as often, and not as intensely as they used to be, but they're still there. And I'm not even sure whether it's the same eyes it always was. I'm more of a public figure now than I was back then, albeit just a little. So it would only make sense if more people have me on their mind from time to time. Yet there’s elements of familiarity in that mess.
(Before you ask: The cab is that of KBE's ET 201, which you can't visit at the KBEF museum in Wesseling. Only during open days or on special request.)
Telemetry
Seer in one way, seen in another: The saying goes, it's not paranoia if they're really after you. In that case, it's called intuition. You feel someone's eyes on you. Truth be told, for most of the time it didn't even feel like someone was after me personally. More after my computer, for whatever reason.
Every time that Windows Anti Malware thing came up routinely once a month or what, saying everything's A-OK... "Um... No. It's not. There is something. Don't know what it is, but there is something." Or when I was driving my virtual trains, flying planes, building cities. Cruising along, performing a particularly well executed (or particularly terrible) station stop. The weird feeling, someone just saw that. Someone's watching me from the virtual secondman's seat, figuratively speaking. Not all the time, not every day, and for whatever reason most pronounced with the train games. But when the feeling was there, it was unmistakable, coming in as an “imagine if” statement somewhere in the back of my head. It just didn't make any sense to the logical mind. Why would anyone do that.
So it must be some strange thing my brain sometimes does. It's a bit misshapen by nature after all, and has taken a beating or two over the years, so it's only reasonable it doesn't work without flaws. I also couldn't tell whether those eyes I felt had friendly or hostile intentions. But then, I never really asked myself that question. The eyes aren't real after all, so that question didn't come up. And knowing what I know now, it wouldn't have been an easy yes-or-no question either. I may well have been interpreting all the mixed signals just for what they were.
Either way, turned out it was all completely true. It's not paranoia if they really are after you. Vindicating and validating as finding that out may be in hindsight - one thing it doesn't do, is make the paranoia go away. I still feel eyes on me sometimes. Nowhere near as often, and not as intensely as they used to be, but they're still there. And I'm not even sure whether it's the same eyes it always was. I'm more of a public figure now than I was back then, albeit just a little. So it would only make sense if more people have me on their mind from time to time. Yet there’s elements of familiarity in that mess.
(Before you ask: The cab is that of KBE's ET 201, which you can't visit at the KBEF museum in Wesseling. Only during open days or on special request.)