Gregor Vukasinovič
Trying To Care
Try as I may, it doesn't last. The planet, the environment, nature, animals... and about humans I won't even begin to talk. How is anyone supposed to care about any of that when it all feels so hollow. Like a hologram almost. Not real. Foreign. Distant. When I don't even feel connected to, or at home in my own body, let alone my neighbourhood, my city, my country - the bigger the more remote. As a kid I sometimes wondered if there are places where you just fall through the ground, like when you walk out of bounds in some video games.
That never happened to me so far, but I've seen it happen once or twice to people who accidentally dropped something on the floor and gone it was. A plastic lid, specifically. Disappeared into thin air upon impact on the floor, only to resurface many years later. Right there in the same spot where it could reasonably have landed back then, and where it's completely impossible to miss it.
The more I learn about all sorts of esoteric concepts, the harder does it get to care about the 3D world. In a way, that's just the whole point. Do you care knowing full well there's nothing to care about in reality? Just the bits and bytes of the universe, that your brain renders as you and your surroundings? Well, no. I can pretend I did, at least for a while, but it gets exhausting very quickly. Like being casted for a role that just isn't right for me.
Perhaps that's also why some people advise against looking into esoterics and all that. Calling it dark magic, witchcraft, the devil's work, you name it. Maybe they have a point. But then again, since I looked deeper into that, many things make more sense rather than less. And those that don't make sense, at least I understood why they don't make sense, if that makes any sense.
Trying To Care
Try as I may, it doesn't last. The planet, the environment, nature, animals... and about humans I won't even begin to talk. How is anyone supposed to care about any of that when it all feels so hollow. Like a hologram almost. Not real. Foreign. Distant. When I don't even feel connected to, or at home in my own body, let alone my neighbourhood, my city, my country - the bigger the more remote. As a kid I sometimes wondered if there are places where you just fall through the ground, like when you walk out of bounds in some video games.
That never happened to me so far, but I've seen it happen once or twice to people who accidentally dropped something on the floor and gone it was. A plastic lid, specifically. Disappeared into thin air upon impact on the floor, only to resurface many years later. Right there in the same spot where it could reasonably have landed back then, and where it's completely impossible to miss it.
The more I learn about all sorts of esoteric concepts, the harder does it get to care about the 3D world. In a way, that's just the whole point. Do you care knowing full well there's nothing to care about in reality? Just the bits and bytes of the universe, that your brain renders as you and your surroundings? Well, no. I can pretend I did, at least for a while, but it gets exhausting very quickly. Like being casted for a role that just isn't right for me.
Perhaps that's also why some people advise against looking into esoterics and all that. Calling it dark magic, witchcraft, the devil's work, you name it. Maybe they have a point. But then again, since I looked deeper into that, many things make more sense rather than less. And those that don't make sense, at least I understood why they don't make sense, if that makes any sense.