Gregor Vukasinovič
Transactional
No taking without giving, no giving without taking. The world, buying large, works like that, and people get confused when somebody doesn't. Doing someone a favor and expecting nothing whatsoever in exchange for that. No return favor, no material compensation in money or otherwise, not love, not sex, not affection, not friendship. And especially no invitation to their barbecue party with who knows how many guests. I might not expect a reward for trying to be of service, but I don't want to be punished either, thank you.
And people generally don't handle that well. There must be some hidden agenda, some dark motive then? And if not that, then they think they found an easy victim that they can exploit and abuse. And forget or ignore they too need time to recharge, and possibly more of that than other people.
There's no good solution to that, none that I know of at least. Only workarounds. Learn to set boundaries and how to defend them. Avoid people who show a lack of self-respect, because their respect for you will be even lower. Only, that usually leaves the people out of luck who would need it most urgently and most obviously.
Maybe what it comes down to ultimately, is the difference between gifting somebody a fish, and teaching them how to catch one themselves. Only, people don't seem to want to catch fish anymore. They want it already caught, killed, prepared and fried, complete with chips and a bit of salad. And all that preferably for free and at the push of a button.
Transactional
No taking without giving, no giving without taking. The world, buying large, works like that, and people get confused when somebody doesn't. Doing someone a favor and expecting nothing whatsoever in exchange for that. No return favor, no material compensation in money or otherwise, not love, not sex, not affection, not friendship. And especially no invitation to their barbecue party with who knows how many guests. I might not expect a reward for trying to be of service, but I don't want to be punished either, thank you.
And people generally don't handle that well. There must be some hidden agenda, some dark motive then? And if not that, then they think they found an easy victim that they can exploit and abuse. And forget or ignore they too need time to recharge, and possibly more of that than other people.
There's no good solution to that, none that I know of at least. Only workarounds. Learn to set boundaries and how to defend them. Avoid people who show a lack of self-respect, because their respect for you will be even lower. Only, that usually leaves the people out of luck who would need it most urgently and most obviously.
Maybe what it comes down to ultimately, is the difference between gifting somebody a fish, and teaching them how to catch one themselves. Only, people don't seem to want to catch fish anymore. They want it already caught, killed, prepared and fried, complete with chips and a bit of salad. And all that preferably for free and at the push of a button.