Fading Reality

Reality. Imagination. Truth. Sanity. Lack thereof.

Can't tell any more where one ends and the other begins.

If I'm living someone else's nightmare

Or my own wildest dream

Did I die at age 33 and swap timelines

And didn't even notice the transition?

Did several other versions of me die at age 33?

Across the dimensions.

and only the good ones are left now?

Or... only the bad ones?

Or how come I'm supposedly special suddenly?

I certainly wasn't yet last week!

Last week I was just me.

This time yesterday I was just me.

An hour ago I was just me.

Not anymore. Something changed.

And I doubt it's just me.

 

Is it just what happens when one does what I did?

Breaking Silence.

Taking the greatest pain and writing it off the soul.

And unlock what lies buried beneath. By accident.

Cause scare where the opposite was the goal?

Did I load a curse on myself?

Is it supposed to be a reward? A punishment?

Are these even viable terms here?

Appropriate and applicable?

Beyond my understanding.

And does it even matter if we're in heaven or hell

when you can't tell the two apart?

No. But what if that's just for now?

When all options have been ruled out.

All but one. The absurd, outrageous one.

Then I probably missed one in the first place?

 

Maybe just mind games. On the mind? By the mind?

Just obsession.

But what if not.

But what if yes.

Going in circles. Round and round and round.

Up and down, up and down.

Am I just being tested?

Culmination. Showdown.

Have I been trained for this all life?

Every dark road I had no choice but to follow.

Every step on broken glass.

Looks like a waysign now.

All pointing in one direction only. Right here.

Stones. Crystals. Stars. Constellations.

Time. Space. Numbers with a meaning.

Songs. Stories. Stories within stories.

Stories with no meaning. Thousands of them.

But a few that had one, a few that stuck.

Metaphors. Allegories. Clearly discernable as such.

...only to me, apparently? No one seems to notice.

Places so alluring, no one else will go.

Metamorphosis. Nostalgia. Utopia.

One can't get to the one

Without leaving the other behind.

 

Intuition. Reason. Feeling. Mixed signals.

The same, but in a whole different way.

Not as expected. The world on fire.

Down, up, down, up.

Too high, too fast. Got dizzy.

And the chase is on.

What on Earth are we doing to us...

 

Done