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HASSEL

I’m sitting on the stairs again, Max by my side, waiting. I’ve done this so many times, and every time, I end up just saying a quiet “Hi” when he passes by. I can never find the words, even though I’ve imagined it a hundred times. It’s my fault—I’m so shy, and maybe he is too. Or maybe he just isn’t interested in talking to me at all.

 

I wish I were more attractive, not just a normal guy. But I always think the same thing after having this thought: then they would only like your outside, not your inside. Whatever.

 

I’ve probably idealized him like I’ve done with others before, but I like him. It’s silly, but just seeing him makes my heart race.

 

Max nudges me, probably sensing how nervous I am. I want to say more than "Hi" next time he walks by... but I know I’ll freeze up again.

 

Maybe someday I’ll be brave enough. Until then, I’ll keep waiting, hoping he’ll notice me.

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Uploaded on November 10, 2025