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Be Your Own Beloved Day 25: Unmasking Ourselves
For todays photo prompt I did the opposite of if you wear make up every day don’t but with my hair lol. Story time. I’ve never felt like I belonged, fit in, or even understood society and the rules like others do. Life has often felt like a game others got the rule book too and I didn’t. In my early years this feeling was mirrored back to me through my peers and adults around which of course only compounded the feeling/effect. So I learned to stay small people seemed to like it better that way. When I was big bold and bright I was unwelcome. As an adult this has manifested as a tendency to not take care of myself. I don’t do anything with my hair or my skin and a bunch of other stuff. I want to do the things AND the habit creation is incredibly difficult for me. I’ve been doing something different with my hair because my natural curls got really damaged and broke off last year so now it looks kinda wonky curly so I smooth it out so it’s more manageable. This morning my housemate left the curling iron in the bathroom and on a whim I grabbed it and curled my ends real quick. I love it! More than that I love that I spent the effort on myself. For years I have not invested in myself because I’ve felt I wasn’t worth it. This little win of styling my hair and taking pride in it feels huge for where I’m at on my journey. Interesting to notice how shedding the identity of being a person who doesn’t do things like my hair feels too. Almost like I’m an imposter but I know that’s not true so it can stay over there.
Be Your Own Beloved Day 25: Unmasking Ourselves
For todays photo prompt I did the opposite of if you wear make up every day don’t but with my hair lol. Story time. I’ve never felt like I belonged, fit in, or even understood society and the rules like others do. Life has often felt like a game others got the rule book too and I didn’t. In my early years this feeling was mirrored back to me through my peers and adults around which of course only compounded the feeling/effect. So I learned to stay small people seemed to like it better that way. When I was big bold and bright I was unwelcome. As an adult this has manifested as a tendency to not take care of myself. I don’t do anything with my hair or my skin and a bunch of other stuff. I want to do the things AND the habit creation is incredibly difficult for me. I’ve been doing something different with my hair because my natural curls got really damaged and broke off last year so now it looks kinda wonky curly so I smooth it out so it’s more manageable. This morning my housemate left the curling iron in the bathroom and on a whim I grabbed it and curled my ends real quick. I love it! More than that I love that I spent the effort on myself. For years I have not invested in myself because I’ve felt I wasn’t worth it. This little win of styling my hair and taking pride in it feels huge for where I’m at on my journey. Interesting to notice how shedding the identity of being a person who doesn’t do things like my hair feels too. Almost like I’m an imposter but I know that’s not true so it can stay over there.