Anxiety and Vulnerability

Anxiety and Vulnerability

 

Wow, on this past Sunday, I had a beautiful moment of Anxiety and Vulnerability. That sounds like an oxymoron, doesn't it. Anxiety is not beautiful and vulnerability blows chunks. Honestly, I had had a relaxing day.

 

Sunday's are my "non-parenting" days. I don't cook, clean, or parent (hahahaha). This is a day of rest, reflection, and sometimes organization. I catch up on emails, menus for the week, organize a closet or two, church, and just relaxation. This particular Sunday, I tackled shaving my dog.

 

As the day wore on, nothing out of the ordinary was happening. I was noticing our new mattress isn't as good as it was. My room needs to be dealt with but I didn't want too. I took a shower, wrote for my blog, and pet my critters.

 

Then, about 10, I asked Bart to bring me up something to drink. We sat for a minute and talked about the upcoming week. He followed me into the bathroom and we chatted more. As he was sitting on my stool and I on the pot, cause why not, I began to feel anxiety wash up over me.

 

Past Me

 

In the past, I would push it down and ignore it. There is no way on God's green earth I would disclose what I was feeling to Bart. Show no emotion. Show no fear. Show no weakness. Wait till you are alone as to not burden him or have him look at you with that thought of I am crazy.

 

Present Me

 

This time, however, I let it all hangout.

 

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Done