Dracula at the supermarket

Count Dracula, snapped here at the local supermarket with his latest bride, is not happy.

 

"Look at me", he said to our reporter, in a quiet and private moment.

 

"I used to live all alone in a spooky dirty dusty castle. I would wander out at night, perform various rituals and other interesting activities, and return back to my coffin a happy bat. Not a duster to be seen.

 

But ever since I got married for the first time, and all the four hundred times since, it's been nothing but nag nag nag.

 

The Castle is sparkling. We have lots of new and frankly pointless mirrors.

 

To cap it all, here I am today out shopping with Mrs D, and all she wants is some toothpaste and then a look at clothes.

 

Furthermore, as you can see, I no longer even wear the trousers in my own domain. I'm getting pretty tired of it.

 

And now the royalties from the films of my life are fading away, well, I don't know. I might have to sell a kidney.

 

But I tell you, I won't be getting married again. I have four hundred and one immortal brides to look after as it is. You can't believe the alimony. "

 

Our reporter says the couple then went off towards the shoe department, tooth in arm, and the Count was hissing gently.

Done