The ritual

A few months ago in April, when a whole year had passed since I had my picc line inserted, I decided to celebrate how far I'd come in that year by gathering up my hundreds of breast cancer leaflets, letters, booklets, appointment cards & picc line covers and burning the lot of it.

Throwing stuff away isn't great when you have endless pages of sensitive medical info, and having a mini bonfire was pretty therapeutic - perfect day, sunny & some wind, but not too much.

I knew there was a lot but I hadn't realised just how much paperwork there was in having cancer.. they throw absolutely everything at you; it's a total overload of information but I'm grateful we have access to all this valuable & reassuring information at all - it's a lot to read when you're feeling fearful & overwhelmed, but ultimately knowledge is power.

Today in my mind, I am manifesting lifelong super wonderful health for myself & loved ones. I am fabulous, happy & healthy from this point on and making more amazing plans which don't involve fighting to extend my life.

It's not all 'F you cancer' because a lot of good has come out of it - I overcame paralytic fears, I learnt tonnes of stuff, I made new friends for life, (some of them hospital staff) and much more, so I'm thankful for the experience and I'm especially grateful to be able to reflect on how protected & loved I feel as I burn a little bit of the past - not because I want to forget, but because I've moved on.

 

Here I'm wearing a gorgeous Gypsophila midi dress by All About Audrey - www.allaboutaudrey.co.uk at The Hacienda, London

Done