Cabin Diaries...

When you hear the term "Ace" in regards to relationships, it refers to being "Aromantic", "Asexual" or both which can be called "Ace Squared".

 

Aromantic refers to people who have little or no romantic attraction to others.

 

Asexual refers to people who have little or no sexual attraction to others.

 

I have friends who are one or both. They seem to have more peace and calm in life without regret.

 

I want that peace. Over the years at times, love did indeed bring joy.

Those days are long gone.

 

Gone...

 

All I have felt for the last 10 years is extreme emotional pain for following my heart.

 

I want to be numb.

 

I don't want the pain anymore...

 

There is little chance I will find romantic happiness going forward. Those who were interested in me stopped being so when I started being my real self Who I was hadn't changed, except for feeling myself be happy finally.

 

For example an ex gf broke up with me because she "wasn't a lesbian". Others have been the same to me...all I did was come out...they were dating me anyways...

 

Does one fall in love with WHO someone is or WHAT they are?

 

I was raised to be the former as love is love

.

Since I've changed, I have only been able to romantically be myself with far flung Cisgender and Transgender women around the world in Second Life.

 

Most times I have been left behind by them. It's sadly a castaway society that way.

 

They never, ever last...

 

When they broke my heart, I wish they'd taken the pieces of it with them for I don't want to feel romantic love anymore:

 

"What's the use in tryin'?

All you get is pain.

When I wanted sunshine,

I got rain..."

 

I'm no longer a "believer"...

 

Take my heart out please.

 

I wish I was Ace...I don't want to feel heartbroken and so alone anymore...

 

Maybe I can find a magic surgery for that...

 

- Katherine

Done