Dear Madam City Attorney

(Read the entire text it the 'note' section). The playwright based “Dear Madam City Attorney McLean”upon his experiences/discussions with City of Santee, California, City Attorney Don McLean. The play examines the consequences of unethical conduct bygovernment lawyers. The play is available to anyone gratis!

 

TITLE: Dear Madam City Attorney McLean

! &n bsp; by Richard W. White

Copyright 1997; Edited, 2000.

 

CLASSIFICATION:Three-act, contemporary political drama

 

RATING: G

 

CAST: RICK - male, near fifty; thin; worn;

McLEAN – male, used to giving orders.

TAX LADY - female; self-assured; over bearing;

Ms. HOWARD - female; handsome; well dressed.

GEORGE - friendly; city cowboy; well fed.

 

LENGTH:50 minutes, plus or minus.

 

REQUIREMENTS: Permission to produce “Dear MadamCity Attorney McLean” is granted to any public or private school or theater.The playwright asks to be informed on any production of this work.

 

“Dear Madam City Attorney McLean” was written for the classroom or community theater setting, with minimal set requirements or rehearsal. Thecharacter McLEAN may be entirely read from the script, since the player is never seen. The character RICK may read much of his dialogue “from the computer monitor” (since he is writing it as he is speaking it). The glowing light (the McLEAN effect) maybe a flashlight or a small spotlight.

 

CONTACTING THE PLAYWRIGHT OR THE MAYOR:

The playwright may be contacted through by email firecat2@sbcglobal.net

 

 

NOTES: The playwright based “Dear Madam CityAttorney McLean” upon his experiences/discussions with Santee City Attorney DonMcLean. The play examines the consequences of unethical conduct by government lawyers. The characters of the play examine the political drama genre in contemporary America.

 

 

 

 

 

DEAR MADAM CITYATTORNEY McLEAN

 

 

A political drama

 

by RICHARD W.WHITE

based upondiscussions with

Donald McLean,City Attorney

City of Santee,California

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© 1997 by Richard W. White

 

 

 

Theauthor hereby grants to everyone the right to use this play gratis!

DEARMADAM CITY ATTORNEY McLEAN

 

APolitical Drama by RICHARD W. WHITE

Based upondiscussions with

Don McLean,City Attorney,

City of Santee,California

 

CHARACTERS

 

RICK TAX LADY

McLEAN DIRECTOR

! Ms. HOWARD

GEORGE

UNNAMED COUNCILMAN

MRS. McLEAN

 

With the curtain closed, RICK, a thin, cleanbut worn man near fifty, hurrying toward old age, appears at the center of thestage.

RICK: I’m going to start byreading the first two pages of the letter I read to the Santee City Council inApril 1995. Then, I’ll get on with the play.

Rick walks to the side of the stage andtakes his place behind a small podium.

RICK: Good evening, Mr. Mayorand Santee City Council. My name is Rick: I’m a former twenty yearresident and business owner. And I came here this evening to tell you straightout, the City of Santee cheated me on the Prospect Avenue bridge project.

The City engineer, Cary Stewart, concealed survey error from me and heconcealed plan error from the surveyors. And the result was chaos. Piles weren't centered under the footings. Footings weren't aligned underthe abutments. The bridge deck had to be lowered and reduced inthickness. Some alignments were off as much as two (2) foot.

City Engineer Cary Stewart concealed the survey error because he didn't want topay for fixing his mistakes. They were his mistakes because his planswere wrong and I should have been paid for fixing the accumulated errors. But I wasn't paid. I was cheated and Cary couldn't have cheated mewithout the help of City Attorney McLean. Period.

Cary also requested extra work, which he didn't pay for. The asphaltbikeway; lowering the bridge deck and cutting off the rebar; extra rip rap; changesin the manholes. Cary kept a 'log of extras', but when the project wasfinished, Cary wouldn't pay for any of it and he wouldn't give us any reasonfor not paying.

Nearly a year after we finished the work, we demanded arbitration before theState Board. In answer to our demand, City Attorney McLean sued claiming theState didn’t have authority to hear it.

But Cary and Attorney McLean weren't satisfied to see me cheated. Andthey weren't satisfied to see me wasting my! time an d money playing lawyergames. They decided to destroy my business with a bogus defaultresolution voted on by this city council without advance notice to me. The State found 100% in my favor two months after Santee defaulted me. It’s been years: Why hasn't the Santee rescinded the default resolution? Why haven’t I been paid? Why was I cheated? Why is it okay for Santee tocheat?

Good evening.

As Rick begins to walk behind the curtain,councilwoman Lori Howard blocks his path.

RICK: If you don’t mind, we’lldo this scene here, instead of in your coffee shop, to save on set cost.

LORI: Rick, you can’t do thisplay. The council has talked about it in closed session. You can’t do it,in my coffee shop or anywhere else.”

A rotund city cowboy, George Tockstein, CityManager enters.

RICK: Hi ya,George. I’ve been wanting to talk to you.

GEORGE: (Smiling andfriendly)Rick, we, I mean the council, we, the city, would rather just rely on thefinding of the court.

RICK: George, there has neverbeen a hearing on the merits. There has never been a finding by anycourt, except the one that decided Cary’s labor complaint was bogus. Whydon’t you just ask Cary Stewart why he didn’t pay me?

LORI: You can’t do thisplay! We aren’t asking or answering anything. Come on, George,let’s get out of this play.

UnnamedCouncilman steps into Rick’ path.

MRS. McLEAN: “I don’tcare if you use my name, in this play. It’s my married nameanyway.”

UNNAMED COUCILMAN: “Rick, you can’t do this play. On the phone or anywhere else.”

RICK: I won’t say yourname, or try to describe your peculiar voice or overly long sideburns. Iwill only work with your voice and the threat that you made to me. I tookit as a threat when you told me on the phone ‘this time you have gone too far,’in response, I thought, you’d said that to me for the barbeque I had thrown forthat intercity pop-Warner football team I sponsored. I gave the barbeque as aprize for the team having won the league championship. And I won’t saynothing about seeing you at five o’clock in the morning stuffing Jack Doylecampaign signs in the truck of your late model Japanese make sedan. Ihave already decided to keep the Mayor’s name out of this by referencing themayor of La Mesa, Art Madrid, who, I ran into in the parking lot of La MesaCity Hall.”

Nameless Councilmanleaves in a huff, as Lori and George walk from the stage. The curtainopens to reveal an early morning scene. Rick takes his seat, a foldingsteel chair at a folding table, which serves as his desk, facing theaudience. He is under the glow of a desk lamp, typing at the green hazeof his small computer monitor. Books are stacked on the d! esk, whi ch is setbetween two (tall) old steel filing cabinets. The walls of the room behindthe desk are primarily old scaffolding and two-by-four wall studs with noplaster covering. The house has been gutted by reconstruction. Framed pictures hang about on open-wall studs. A door is at the back ofthe stage. A wooden plank on saw horses serves as a counter top on stageright. An electric coffee pot is set upon the plank, together with coffeecup, a jar of instant coffee, a pill bottle and a grocery bag. Twocardboard boxes, stuffed with clothing, covered with plastic trash bags, are onthe floor at the back of the stage and a sleeping bag. Drying laundryhangs about. Old books, under plastic sheets, are stacked about on thefloor.

RICK: (Reading aloudin monotone from his computer monitor.) Opening scene. At his desk in his sparsepremises, Rick is reading from his computer screen, making a sternpronouncement: (Announcing, narrative style, still reading from thecomputer screen.) Since the beginning of history, productive people have organized themselves …

(The green glow of t! he compu ter screenbecomes tinged with orange, causing RICK to stop reading.)

RICK: McLean, move offmy monitor. I can’t see to read.

McLEAN: (A demanding, butdistant sounding man who is used to giving orders, speaking from high offstage.) It’s cold over here. The warmth feels good.

RICK: (Grinning.) Then go to hell.

(The orange glow fades from the computerscreen as a glow of light appears on the small gray cloth screen that is aboveand in front of R! ick.)&nb sp;

McLEAN: That little exercisebefore the city council last night was a waste of time.

RICK: The necessity of it goesbeyond what we can see or understand just now.

McLEAN: So why did you bother?

RICK: This experience needs tobe shared. The helplessness of one man’s humanity, the richness ofpoverty, the peace I am feeling: all of this deserves to be celebrated. But more importantly, you’re not the only crooked government lawyer: peopleneed to shown what happens when the government cheats.

McLEAN: What people? Idon't understand. Who are you are talking about? You should beworking.

RICK: Michaelanglo once toldthe Pope, ‘A man doesn't work with his hands alone.’ My heart is tootroubled to work.

McLEAN: Your soul is troubled.

RICK: Look who'stalking.

McLEAN: I was surprised howgood you looked last night.

RICK: Appearances is thecheapest of modern lifes’ necessities. It’s the one perk I allow mypride.

McLEAN: Pride? You don't evenown a bed.

RICK: When all my bills arepaid, I’ll buy a bed. (Softly speaking to McLean) Now please, I’m tryingto work. (After a slight pause, starting again with the narratorvoice.) Sincethe beginning, productive people have organized themselves into governments forthe purpose of mutual benefit. Where government is honest and withoutcorruption, society prospers. Where government is dishonest, societyfails to thrive.

For thoseliving it, the correlation between the ethics of government and quality of lifeis obscure, but it is observable, by a stroke as brief and brilliant as theflash of lighting, which unites the earth and sky in the night. I haveseen this coruscation as its power passed through my existence, vaporizing mylife’s work. And I come before you as a witness, for having lived throughit, (a pause, then the dialogue flows quickly) I know that the great unseendanger that America faces today, (slowly) is the ethical depravity which is creepinginto the ranks of our government lawyers.

McLEAN: That indictment is alittle enthusiastic.

RICK: (Quietly to McLEAN): I am still editing. Nowhush, I want to finish this. (! Narratin g) For America to prosper,we need to publicly condemn the crooked government lawyer.

McLEAN: What is allthis?

RICK: I’m writing a play aboutus.

McLEAN: Us? Doesn’t seem very productive.

(RICK types during thefollowing dialogue, reading it as he types it.)

RICK: (Speaking offhand): Realistically, my options arevery limited. My only asset is experience, which would count a negativein any other enterprise, but in this play writing business, it may be anadvantage. And the risk in this undertaking is minimal, which makes itattractive. (Rick stops typing) McLean, read this, please.

McLEAN (Poetically): In search of understanding,you trespassed into timeless contemplation, and for this offense, fate has castyou adrift upon a cosmic tide, where the jetsam of humanity twines with dybbuksand bobbing ossuaries in a slick of black ink on a windless white page, toawait Dies Irae. (Plainly): This play is crap.

RICK: What should I do tocontribute to America? Go door to door, to collect secondhand integrityand slightly worn ethics for you and your law partner wife?

McLEAN: Where do you get theseideas?

RICK: I asked you thatquestion while you were still living and you did the same thing: Why don’t youanswer me? I’m trying to do some good here: or should I write Mrs. McLeana letter, setting out my concerns for America’s future?

McLEAN: Reading oldbooks?

RICK: My experience is asomber treasure. For it to have value, it must be cast into the pool ofliterature, where in the ageless waters of humanly acceptable conclusions, allthe obtuse, precisely objective, impersonal phenomenon of science and law blendtogether … to become understanding … eventually.

(RICK types the words that McLEAN isspeaking.)

McLEAN: (Conciliatory,condescending): It’s these old books, isn’t it? These used up, very old books.

RICK: (RICK stops histyping and looks at McLEAN): George Bernard Shaw was self-taught.

McLEAN: And he to was afailure, painting his ideological graffiti in other peoples’ minds. (Apause) This idea is lunacy. Why don’t you get back into business?

RICK: (Looking to McLEAN): Lunacy is inspiration indisguise, since a man with many more brains than his fellows, necessarilyappears as mad to them as one who has less.

McLEAN: And cynicism is thelast refuge of a quitter.

RICK: ‘No man is abovethe law’. Did you ever read my letters?

McLEAN: Your little ethicslessons were misdirected: I was the law.

RICK: And that is preciselythe problem: You were the government of my part of America, functioning withthe ethics of an open pit toilet, a putrid, infected zit on the economic hullof America.

McLEAN: If America has aproblem, it’s people like you, failing to contribute their talents.

RICK: One more man on the oarswon’t save a leaky boat.

McLEAN: You’re pumping bilgewater onto the deck of the sturdiest democracy ever to set sail.

RICK: I’m simply plugging thelegal rot below the waterline.

McLEAN: If this country sinks,the fatal damage will more likely spring from the infectious negative mentalityof your ilk, rather than from structural damage, legal or otherwise.

RICK: The economic hull ofAmerica is taking on water, but you are still loading lawyer ballast. Don’t you realize each business lost in a free enterprise system is anotherhole in the ship of state?

McLEAN: What ken yourintellect brings to the American political discussion is as shallow as thisso-called play.

RICK: Allowing government lawyerslike you to smash small businessmen like me, with impunity, brings this countryto a potentially dangerous crossroads. The greatness of America comesfrom the diversity of its entrepreneurs sailing in the shallows; theinnovators; the small shops; individuals working alone who aren’t swimming withthe main stream. Ben Franklin with his kite; the Wright brothers in theirbicycle shop; Ford, with his first gasoline motor on his kitchen sink onChristmas eve.

McLEAN: (Enunciatingsternly) Isee the problem here: you imagine yourself a sort of mental ventriloquist whocan cleverly project his thoughts into other people’s minds. That’s whatyou used to do with your letters to me, wasn’t it? Well, you should know,your constant little lessons in good citizenship were a waste of postagestamps.

RICK: The drama of life isn’tplayed out with thoughts alone, lawyer McLean. (The telephone ringsand RICK answers it.) Hello. (He smiles proudly.) Yeah, this is Grandpa. (Helistens carefully for a moment.) No, I didn’t die. It’s just hard for me tocome and visit. (Listening, then gently) Mommy is driving on thelittle tire? (A pause.) Oh, gee. We’ll have to do something aboutthat. (Pause a beat) Is Mommy at work? (Pause) Okay. Grampa willthink of something. You better get ready for school. Grampa lovesyou. Bye-bye.

(RICK hangs up the telephone and typesMcLEAN’s dialogue as he speaks it.)

McLEAN: A rational manacting in the real world will strike a balance between what he desires and whatcan be done. It is only in imaginary worlds that we can do whatever wewish.

RICK: (Looking at McLean) (Typing the next line ofdialogue):This is my play and I imagine you gone. Go away. I don’t need thephilosophical counsel of a crooked government lawyer.

(RICK dials the telephone while McLeanreads.)

McLEAN: Choose your friends onmoral principles and you’ll soon have less company then you have now.

RICK: (Speaking tothe telephone) Isthe boss there?

McLEAN: I am here as the voiceof reality. You can’t continue to subsist like a Brahmanistictramp.

(A noisy jet passes low, shaking the house.)

RICK: (Speaking to McLean,offhand.) Reality in practical affairs is simply a series of tradeoffs. I choose tosurvive without material flourish. (Speaking into the telephone.) Hello, John. Hey,do you still want a structural slab behind the shop? (A pause.) I’ll make you a trade: fourtires for the slab. You buy the mud. (A pause.) Thanks. (Hehangs up the handset.)

McLEAN: You have turned yourlife into a lonely tragedy.

RICK: (Typing as hespeaks): This solitude is a thing of beauty.

McLEAN: It’s been years. Have you lost all sense of time?

RICK: Contemplation is thetimeless sense and best practiced in isolation, for as Emerson said, ‘alone iswisdom’. Leave me.

McLEAN: You are not happy inthis state.

RICK: Emerson said, ‘alone ishappiness’. Leave me.

McLEAN: You need to get outamong normal people.

RICK: Emerson said, ‘the crowdthat you are obstructs my contentment’. Leave me.

McLEAN: Emerson also said,‘Life consists of what a man is thinking of all day.’

(A moment of silence.)

McLEAN: You’re a talentedfellow. You should contribute.

RICK: This is mycontribution. You were the government: why did you cheat me?

McLEAN: For me to discussparticulars of the matter would violate the attorney/client privilege. Itwould be unethical.

RICK: (Looking to McLEAN,sans typing):So tell me of your ethics.

McLEAN: You should be doingsomething.

RICK: This play issomething. Help me with it or leave me alone.

McLEAN: You don’t really wantme to leave. Without me, you would have nothing at all and you reallywould be all alone.

RICK: Why did you cheatme?

McLEAN: I was protecting myclient.

RICK: Your client was thetaxpayer, not City engineer Cary Stewart. Your duty was to the law, notyour fat wallet. ABA Rule one point two D: ‘A lawyer shall not … assist aclient in conduct that … is … fraudulent.’

McLEAN: I will not respond toyour egregious slander. I assert it was my job to protect the City.

RICK: Your engineer CaryStewart ordered the work and then wouldn’t pay for it. When I demanded Statearbitration, you sued the State, claiming it had no authority to settle thematter. It was all legal baloney, to fatten your own wallet.

McLEAN: I love the law; I wastop of my class at Cal Western in sixty-two; but I’m not being paid to argueand I won’t do it.

RICK: So then leave.

McLEAN: I see you better thanyou realize. You turned your anger inside and now it is coming fullcircle, inside out, until it’s directed against those who would help you.

RICK: You are not helpingme.

McLEAN: You’re bulliedby your own ego; you’re trying to undo what happened with shear will power. It can’t be done. You can’t shift a single grain of sand with willpower. You should start a new business. You have the ability tocreate jobs.

RICK: (Typing as hespeaks): Ihave created a new job: I am a prospector, panning the sands of my experience, (gesturingto the books)exploring the veins of these old pages, in search of understanding.

McLEAN: (Laughs): Look around you. You made a better brick layer.

RIC! K: Brick s were a hobby,something for me to love: nothing more.

McLEAN: Your hobby made asplash at City Hall when they featured your home in the newspaper homesection.

RICK: Cary used to walk hisdog by every night, to make a splash on my bricks, after Santee defaulted me.

McLEAN: I’m notsurprised. You put him on the defensive. He needed to do somethingto assuage his ego.

RICK: Your loyalty wasmisplaced in Cary. Shielding him from the Engineer’s Board investigationwas a disservice to the community and a breach of your professionaleth! ics.&nbs p;

McLEAN: For me to commentwould be a breach of the attorney client privilege.

RICK: Cary wasn’t yourclient. It was a professional breach to stonewall the engineer’s boardinvestigation for five years.

McLEAN: What’s thepoint? It’s been eight years.

RICK: (RICK puts his handsto his forehead and looks to McLean through his fingers) Eight years and I am stillunable to make any sense of it. Eight years of document searches,depositions, motions, law! yer game s. Eight years with my spirit frustrated,my aspirations chained, my family in disarray. Eight years since I spentthe last of my pride, since I could afford self respect.

McLEAN: Forget it.

RICK: All I have is my memory:it is the most of me; and it needs healing: it must be healed, because ourfuture rests on our memories; memories are the foundation of our spirit - butto be healed, they must be exposed to the light.

McLEAN: (After a long pause.) Have you read this allthe way through? You sound stilted, on artificial wooden words that willalways be too long for your social stature. Believe me, you need to getback into business.

RICK: (Tinged with irony,his hands over his lowered head): The business I know has no sense to it, ifgovernment can cheat with impunity.

McLEAN: Government must putits own interest, the good of all, before that of any individual citizen.

(Rick rises and pours himself a cup ofcoffee while speaking the following dialogue.)

RICK: ‘Injusticeanywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. Whatever affects one directly,affects all indirectly’. Dr. King wrote that in his letter fromBirmingham jail.

McLEAN: And what did itget him? He was dead within six months.

RICK: What hope do any of ushave, if our government cheats?

Done