women. cubism.

2011.

 

self-realization.2011. (poem)

 

I wish you could forgive me one day

Forget that this world can be cruel

Please forgive the coward in me

Now I know I was only a thief

Who tried to steal your love?

Forgive me that I was influenced by your beauty

But I couldn’t find much beauty inside you

I never thought there could be anything inside you

My love was lust in disguise

You were beautiful and it was your only fault

I remember that cattle is killed for its body

I believe that I influenced you

I tried to influence you

But you didn’t show a sign of love, you are pure

We were tight lipped, our love was silent

I felt I don’t want you

But I was wrong

I always needed someone

I miss your love

at least your presence

I want you badly

ButI’m week

I remember you

Sometimes I feel guilty

For influencing you

For chasing you

You are a person of your own

Who ‘am I to influence you?

Who ‘am I to ask you to look at me, Look at my love?

I’ am nobody

I ‘am nobody to divert your attention

I’ am only a companion of yours

In the voyage of life.

I ‘am a companion of you like anybody else

I’ am not special

But you are special

Everybody wants you

Everybody needs your kind attention

Everybody seek your look

Everybody need’s your presence

You are special

You are beautiful

You influence others

Your face is special

Your smile is special

Everybody loves you

You are one of a kind

I loved you, I still love you, I will always love you

I don’t know why I love you

When you hate me so much

I know I will not get anything from you

I know you don’t even think about me

I love you; you are near to me, Dear to me

I know you are not able to love me

But it is OK, I love for myself

I believe in love, I feel there is something in it which will protect me

I feel there is something in beauty.

I realise you as a women and myselfas a man

What is more to it I don’t know

I know that you are beautiful

I also know that you don’t love me

I don’t think that my face is special

You can easily forget me.

I don’t think I have done the right thing

By trying to attract you

I could attract you to some extend

I don’t know if it is my success or failure

I wish you didn’t love me

Then I wouldn’t feel the pain feel now

You could have considered me as a moron

I was trying to break that image

I badly wanted your love

I could not even think of not attaining you

I felt you should also love me.

I wanted you very badly.

I could at least seek your attention

You knew that there is someone

Who wanted your attention?

Maybe you were not able to love me

But you knew there is someone who loves you.

You know I wanted you.

Even though you couldn’t love me

You knew there was somebody who loved you

I think you can’t be so cruel that you hate me.

I didn’t do anything to you except loving you

I was influenced by your beauty.

Your face is so simple and easy to draw

I will always draw your face.

I don’t find any other thing interesting to draw.

Even though you hate me so much.

I will always draw your face.

You never ever loved me, I ‘am afraid

But I always loved you

At least your love was not true love

You just found some attraction in me

I’ am afraid no girl ever loved me

It takes away some responsibility and adds an emptiness

I ‘am afraid even I ever loved any girl.

My love only gazed them

Over the top of their body

It was skin deep

I only dreamed about them

Nothing seriously happened

It is true my love for you was different

In one way

No other girl gave me satisfaction in love

Your love also made song feel sweet

Your love made Novel and Film seem beautiful

But I was afraid; I was not interested in the rewards of love

But I wanted you, it was true

I loved you.

 

Done