GasglowJones
Count Dimensio Issue I: Vlog like an Egyptian. part 1
Location: Advent City Texas.
Date: November 2nd 2019.
Time: 4:24pm
"Right, so the temple will be guarded but if we dress like Caldanian monks we should be able to sneak past." I said as I went over the map I had sprawled out on the table.
"And where exactly do we get these monkey suits?" Jack asked with a half interested look as he sipped his frozen fruit flavoured beverage.
"I believe I have some altuerian robes in the pocket-verse that should suffice if we glue novelty shark fins to the hoods and traffic cones to the-"
Suddenly my scheming was interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Who in the multiverse?.."
I opened the door to find what appeared to be a pair of young girls dressed in military uniforms with boxes of- cookies?
"Aren't you girls trick or treating rather late?"
"No sir, we're selling cookies to raise money for the local girl scout troop." One of the child soldiers stated.
"I see... So the military has not only resorted to enlisting children but is selling baked goods to raise funds?!" I asked in bewilderment. "Honestly, what is this realm coming to? It's the bloody Great War all over again!"
"Uh, never mind sir, have a good day..." the other girl said with a rather nervous tone before the pair dashed off dropping some cookies on the porch in the process.
"Why do they always drop thin mints?.." I muttered to myself as I picked up the box and passed it to my henchman as I went back to my scheming.
"Did it ever occur to you that you could just buy some of the ones you like instead of scaring the hades out of the kids hoping they drop some?"
"One has a hard time funding a group when you've seen a dystopian version of them slaughter millions in the name of Thinmintia goddess of death!"
"I suppose that would be a turn off..." Jack said in reply clearly regretful of his question. "Anyway can we get back to plotting please?"
"Certainly... Once we have our disguises we wait for a group of caldanian monks to come to the temple on their yearly pilgrimage and slip into the crowd as they enter. Once inside we follow the group to the altar room and while they are busy worshipping we sneak into the high priest's chambers and after an exciting duel we escape with the-"
Suddenly I was once again interrupted by a knock at the door. Albiet much louder than the previous one.
"Sounds like the scouts came back with reinforcements." Jack joked.
"Can't even mess with annoying children in this town..." I grumbled as I walked to the door and cautiously opened it to find a very odd surprise.
"Hello Jones." The female police officer said in a familiar and calm yet assertive tone.
"Chief? W-what a pleasant surprise..." I exclaimed somewhat taken aback by the leader of the inter dimensional task force standing outside my door. "Do come in..."
"Thank you, and please, call me Cahill. Only officers refer to me as chief."
"Uh oh, last name basis, I'll take that as my cue to ship off..." Jack said with a laugh as he grabbed his hat and headed for the door.
"Hold it!" I exclaimed to my henchman as I quickly grabbed my maps and notes off the table and passed them to him before Cahill could see them. "Almost forgot your charts."
"Ah, thank you. Wouldn't want these falling into the wrong hands." Jack said with a wink. "Anyway, I better get going. Nice meeting you again Miss Cahill!"
"Same to you Bracton..." Chief replied with a clear tone of suspicion in her voice as Jack dashed off and I shut the door behind him.
"Alright, what are you up to?" She asked as she sat down at the table.
"Why Miss Cahill, are you implying that I'm plotting some sort of scheme?" I said with a smirk as I sat down. "I feel offended..."
"Look I know you're up to something." Cahill said with a sigh."But we have much more pressing matters on our hands right now."
Cahil pulled out a small holograph projector and a translucent monitor like "screen" appeared with a criminal's file displayed.
"Who's this then?" I asked looking at the crook's oddly ancient clothing. He looked like an extra from that stargate show Jack watches. Especially with the Egyptian Nemes headdress and the futuristic armor.
"Meet Apophis Ra. Not much is known about him other than he's a criminal native to the dimension known as Antiquitus. Also he appears to be the leader of a cult known as the order of chaos.
"So like Discordianism?
"In a way, but more Egyptian in origin. In fact he believes himself the prophet of the serpent Apep and the sun god Amun Ra.
"Hence his name..." I said stroking my beard "But what does this nutcase have to do with me?"
"The past week he's stolen hundreds of Egyptian artifacts from various museums. Most recently he raided the Ramses tomb exhibit while it was on display in Memphis Tennessee. Which is were he left this."
Cahill then slid me a small sheet of metal with what looked to be Egyptian hieroglyphs on it.
"Cahill, just because I'm a tomb raider who enjoys history and linguistics does not mean I can read hieroglyphs!"
"Just press the ankh shaped button on the corner."
I did as instructed and a modulated voice with a slight Arab accent began to speak.
"Wasshappnen Count D?! Listen I've got a totally epic idea for a crossover that I wanna run past you. It's "a stroke of genius" as they say lol! Anyway my dude, Meet me at the Advent City museum at midnight tonight if you're interested! TTYL!"
"TTYL? What is that supposed to mean?"
"Your guess is as good as mine..." Cahill said as she closed the file, stood up and walked to the door. "But given you aren't bound by the same regulations as my officers I suggest you investigate the museum tonight."
"And how exactly do I get in to said museum?"
"I'm sure you'll find a way..." Cahill said with a smirk as she shifted dimensions and phased through the door.
"Another all nighter... Just peachy..." I grumbled as I grabbed my cape and hat off the rack and headed out.
However as I was ensuring the door was locked I heard a soft "Meow" under my feet.
"Hello Fluffenstein..." I said looking down my neighbor's cat and scratching his head. "What are you doing out here?"
Suddenly I remembered that my neighbor was out of town until Monday and he had asked me to watch his cat.
"well I guess you'll 'ave to stick with me mate." I said picking up the cat and setting him in my regular coat pocket. His white ears just barely sticking out as he settled in.
Count Dimensio Issue I: Vlog like an Egyptian. part 1
Location: Advent City Texas.
Date: November 2nd 2019.
Time: 4:24pm
"Right, so the temple will be guarded but if we dress like Caldanian monks we should be able to sneak past." I said as I went over the map I had sprawled out on the table.
"And where exactly do we get these monkey suits?" Jack asked with a half interested look as he sipped his frozen fruit flavoured beverage.
"I believe I have some altuerian robes in the pocket-verse that should suffice if we glue novelty shark fins to the hoods and traffic cones to the-"
Suddenly my scheming was interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Who in the multiverse?.."
I opened the door to find what appeared to be a pair of young girls dressed in military uniforms with boxes of- cookies?
"Aren't you girls trick or treating rather late?"
"No sir, we're selling cookies to raise money for the local girl scout troop." One of the child soldiers stated.
"I see... So the military has not only resorted to enlisting children but is selling baked goods to raise funds?!" I asked in bewilderment. "Honestly, what is this realm coming to? It's the bloody Great War all over again!"
"Uh, never mind sir, have a good day..." the other girl said with a rather nervous tone before the pair dashed off dropping some cookies on the porch in the process.
"Why do they always drop thin mints?.." I muttered to myself as I picked up the box and passed it to my henchman as I went back to my scheming.
"Did it ever occur to you that you could just buy some of the ones you like instead of scaring the hades out of the kids hoping they drop some?"
"One has a hard time funding a group when you've seen a dystopian version of them slaughter millions in the name of Thinmintia goddess of death!"
"I suppose that would be a turn off..." Jack said in reply clearly regretful of his question. "Anyway can we get back to plotting please?"
"Certainly... Once we have our disguises we wait for a group of caldanian monks to come to the temple on their yearly pilgrimage and slip into the crowd as they enter. Once inside we follow the group to the altar room and while they are busy worshipping we sneak into the high priest's chambers and after an exciting duel we escape with the-"
Suddenly I was once again interrupted by a knock at the door. Albiet much louder than the previous one.
"Sounds like the scouts came back with reinforcements." Jack joked.
"Can't even mess with annoying children in this town..." I grumbled as I walked to the door and cautiously opened it to find a very odd surprise.
"Hello Jones." The female police officer said in a familiar and calm yet assertive tone.
"Chief? W-what a pleasant surprise..." I exclaimed somewhat taken aback by the leader of the inter dimensional task force standing outside my door. "Do come in..."
"Thank you, and please, call me Cahill. Only officers refer to me as chief."
"Uh oh, last name basis, I'll take that as my cue to ship off..." Jack said with a laugh as he grabbed his hat and headed for the door.
"Hold it!" I exclaimed to my henchman as I quickly grabbed my maps and notes off the table and passed them to him before Cahill could see them. "Almost forgot your charts."
"Ah, thank you. Wouldn't want these falling into the wrong hands." Jack said with a wink. "Anyway, I better get going. Nice meeting you again Miss Cahill!"
"Same to you Bracton..." Chief replied with a clear tone of suspicion in her voice as Jack dashed off and I shut the door behind him.
"Alright, what are you up to?" She asked as she sat down at the table.
"Why Miss Cahill, are you implying that I'm plotting some sort of scheme?" I said with a smirk as I sat down. "I feel offended..."
"Look I know you're up to something." Cahill said with a sigh."But we have much more pressing matters on our hands right now."
Cahil pulled out a small holograph projector and a translucent monitor like "screen" appeared with a criminal's file displayed.
"Who's this then?" I asked looking at the crook's oddly ancient clothing. He looked like an extra from that stargate show Jack watches. Especially with the Egyptian Nemes headdress and the futuristic armor.
"Meet Apophis Ra. Not much is known about him other than he's a criminal native to the dimension known as Antiquitus. Also he appears to be the leader of a cult known as the order of chaos.
"So like Discordianism?
"In a way, but more Egyptian in origin. In fact he believes himself the prophet of the serpent Apep and the sun god Amun Ra.
"Hence his name..." I said stroking my beard "But what does this nutcase have to do with me?"
"The past week he's stolen hundreds of Egyptian artifacts from various museums. Most recently he raided the Ramses tomb exhibit while it was on display in Memphis Tennessee. Which is were he left this."
Cahill then slid me a small sheet of metal with what looked to be Egyptian hieroglyphs on it.
"Cahill, just because I'm a tomb raider who enjoys history and linguistics does not mean I can read hieroglyphs!"
"Just press the ankh shaped button on the corner."
I did as instructed and a modulated voice with a slight Arab accent began to speak.
"Wasshappnen Count D?! Listen I've got a totally epic idea for a crossover that I wanna run past you. It's "a stroke of genius" as they say lol! Anyway my dude, Meet me at the Advent City museum at midnight tonight if you're interested! TTYL!"
"TTYL? What is that supposed to mean?"
"Your guess is as good as mine..." Cahill said as she closed the file, stood up and walked to the door. "But given you aren't bound by the same regulations as my officers I suggest you investigate the museum tonight."
"And how exactly do I get in to said museum?"
"I'm sure you'll find a way..." Cahill said with a smirk as she shifted dimensions and phased through the door.
"Another all nighter... Just peachy..." I grumbled as I grabbed my cape and hat off the rack and headed out.
However as I was ensuring the door was locked I heard a soft "Meow" under my feet.
"Hello Fluffenstein..." I said looking down my neighbor's cat and scratching his head. "What are you doing out here?"
Suddenly I remembered that my neighbor was out of town until Monday and he had asked me to watch his cat.
"well I guess you'll 'ave to stick with me mate." I said picking up the cat and setting him in my regular coat pocket. His white ears just barely sticking out as he settled in.