a spot of grave robbing, a spot of bother
Miss Perspicacity Frost
13 New Victoria Street
New Victoria Township
Kasiopeia Isles
My dear Miss Frost:
As I am sure you are aware, my arrival in town has been delayed. I owe you an explanation, and I would beg a favor of you, should you determine that our interests align in this matter.
I was enticed to emigrate to the Kasiopeia Isles by my research partner, Dr. Alphonse Moreau, late of the University of Ingolstadt. He has - or perhaps “had” would be more accurate – a research site in one of the Isles where he observes experimental subjects in the wild. He told me that he had obtained substantial funding, enough for a large institute, and that the Township would be an ideal location, scientifically inclined and far from the sort of busybodies who plague those working on the frontiers of knowledge.
Unfortunately, at my stopover in Hong Kong I received word that the “funding” was the anticipated payout from investment in a silver mine in Ecuador, which turned out to be entirely fraudulent. Worse, he had fallen afoul of the British authorities in Australia, and will be serving twenty to fifty years of hard labour for various *entirely misunderstood* experiments in applied biological sciences (and, I ask you, how could one of the charges be “cruelty to animals” if the creatures in question were the result of crossbreeding with humans? The law truly *is* an ass!)
Thus, I find myself the owner of a rather large building in your town, but otherwise quite destitute.
What I would propose is that I donate the building to the Frost Academy for use as classrooms and laboratories, and that in return you hire me on as an instructor in the Extraordinary Sciences. Perhaps, if it is not a step too bold, Head of Department? I would dedicate myself quite eagerly to your students, maintaining only a small (and entirely underfunded!) research agenda of my own.
With a small advance on my pay, I would be able to purchase a ticket for the last leg of my trip, and would be able to join you well before the start of your new term.
Throwing myself upon your mercy,
I am,
Yours,
Doctor Fausta Essex
P.S. I don’t know if my erstwhile partner informed anyone, but he has shipped a few cadavers to our premises, for anatomical research purposes. So long as they remain chilled, they should be no bother to anyone in town.
a spot of grave robbing, a spot of bother
Miss Perspicacity Frost
13 New Victoria Street
New Victoria Township
Kasiopeia Isles
My dear Miss Frost:
As I am sure you are aware, my arrival in town has been delayed. I owe you an explanation, and I would beg a favor of you, should you determine that our interests align in this matter.
I was enticed to emigrate to the Kasiopeia Isles by my research partner, Dr. Alphonse Moreau, late of the University of Ingolstadt. He has - or perhaps “had” would be more accurate – a research site in one of the Isles where he observes experimental subjects in the wild. He told me that he had obtained substantial funding, enough for a large institute, and that the Township would be an ideal location, scientifically inclined and far from the sort of busybodies who plague those working on the frontiers of knowledge.
Unfortunately, at my stopover in Hong Kong I received word that the “funding” was the anticipated payout from investment in a silver mine in Ecuador, which turned out to be entirely fraudulent. Worse, he had fallen afoul of the British authorities in Australia, and will be serving twenty to fifty years of hard labour for various *entirely misunderstood* experiments in applied biological sciences (and, I ask you, how could one of the charges be “cruelty to animals” if the creatures in question were the result of crossbreeding with humans? The law truly *is* an ass!)
Thus, I find myself the owner of a rather large building in your town, but otherwise quite destitute.
What I would propose is that I donate the building to the Frost Academy for use as classrooms and laboratories, and that in return you hire me on as an instructor in the Extraordinary Sciences. Perhaps, if it is not a step too bold, Head of Department? I would dedicate myself quite eagerly to your students, maintaining only a small (and entirely underfunded!) research agenda of my own.
With a small advance on my pay, I would be able to purchase a ticket for the last leg of my trip, and would be able to join you well before the start of your new term.
Throwing myself upon your mercy,
I am,
Yours,
Doctor Fausta Essex
P.S. I don’t know if my erstwhile partner informed anyone, but he has shipped a few cadavers to our premises, for anatomical research purposes. So long as they remain chilled, they should be no bother to anyone in town.