Cormack Owle
43. The Captain and The Engineer: An Escape
Author's Note: The contents of this chapter include very sensitive subject matter and may be triggering to some individuals. Scenes of abuse of various forms are represented as not only for storytelling, but to raise awareness of what this behavior looks like. Abusive behavior in this story includes, but is not limited to: physical abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse, gaslighting, manipulation, intentional triggering of another's PTSD, and trauma. In no way are these scenes intended to purposely trigger or harm anyone.
~
After agreeing on a location and time for their dinner tomorrow, Vincent was glad to finally shut the door behind Damien after another long five minutes of "Goodbyes" later. He locked the door then turned around and slumped back against the wood with a heavy, drained sigh.
"Bloody...fucking...Hell...I'm not stoned enough for his shit!" he groaned aloud to himself once he heard Damien's footsteps descending the staircase. Bhang. He needed bhang. Right now, he didn't want to be sober. He didn't want to have to think. Yes, he was grateful to have gotten through this with Damien but it didn't cease the constant feeling of being on edge now. He felt beyond done with the day and still felt overwhelmed by it...and it was getting worse by the minute.
Vincent licked his lips and then pushed away from the door to head for his kitchen. His kettle sat cold on his wood stove with the container of Bernadette's specially made bhang on a nearby counter waiting for him. He just needed to select a tea to go with it. He set the kettle once again to heat up and went to go do just that.
By the time Vincent went to the cabinet to select a tea, he was already starting to feel sour. He already knew the bhang would not hit the way he was needing. He glanced at the concoction over his shoulder sullenly then back up into his cabinet before reaching for his favorite brand of chamomile tea. Yes, chamomile to calm his nerves. Vincent just had to remind himself that everything was fine now. He just had to center and breathe.
'This will help,' he thought to himself with determination as he closed the cabinet. But Vincent knew that the relief that bhang would bring him would not be the same relief as when he smoked the herb, itself. The sweet burn that came with cannabis was something that he longed for. It would be immediate and the effect would be that much better and stronger in the way he needed. But with broken ribs he knew it wasn't wise. The only other option was alcohol. While he was used to drowning his sorrows in liqueur, he loathed the fact that he used it as an escape. He never felt better the next day, but it was what he was used to. He was even less inclined to use that route now considering he'd promised Aiden that he would not....but it felt extremely fucking tempting right now!
Now, Vincent was standing before his kettle. He just stood there as he waited for the water to boil. All while standing there, Vincent just tried to let himself decompress. Rolling his head around on his neck produced no relief at all. His shoulders were even more tense and he just couldn't seem to physically come down quick enough from the stress and overwhelming thoughts. Yet, as he stared at his kettle and grumbled to himself and thought irritably that grass probably grew faster, he felt an unwelcome urge pulling at him: a need for escape.
Vincent wanted to just decompress and just forget about everything just for a little while! And to be honest right now, home didn't feel so welcome. It held a lingering, heavy discomfort. Or perhaps it was simply him? It didn't matter as suddenly cruel thoughts started to roar in his mind and he immediately began to regret his decision to pour his alcohol down the drain. Nor was there any cannabis to be found at home (aside from the bhang), and he wasn't supposed to be doing that, was he?
"Fuck it!"
The next thing Vincent knew, he was suddenly putting out the fire in the stove. As soon as it was doused, he scooped up his tea bag and bhang and went to put them away. He rushed himself doing so and then he quickly went to change his boots into more comfortable walking shoes. Then, he grabbed his pouch of money and his key. Without further ado, Vincent slipped out the front door of his flat and locked it behind him. Once he was downstairs by the street, he deliberately headed off in the direction opposite from Damien's sister's residence and The Fat Lady's.
...
It was a short while later that Vincent finally saw sight of the small, sleazy hole-in-the-wall bar well hidden along the edge of the slums that he'd chosen to patron this evening. It was a place that only locals knew of and even fewer frequented. It was known for strong and cheap alcohol, whores for any preference, and dirty dealings. In comparison, it made the usual rowdy The Fat Lady's Tavern look like a teahouse. And it was the kind of place Vincent could go and not be bothered by anyone he knew.
He could hear the shouting of a quarreling duo down the street and the sound of a woman screaming at them to stop their foolishness. Vincent glanced down that direction and sighed before squaring his shoulders and drawing himself up to his full height. Despite his small stature Vincent knew how to be intimidating in a way that made no one want to mess with him. And so with that front up, he stepped off the curb and headed across the street. Even though he appeared unarmed Vincent was not one to mess with, and he knew people knew it just by looking at him. And sure enough as he did, a few eyes did glance his way.
Vincent strode up to the door and yanked it open. He was very grateful to find that the bar was not nearly as busy as it usually was this time of evening. He made his way up to the bar and took a seat. He glanced towards the barman who was approaching but paused as he heard Vincent grunt, "Rum. Best you got."
"Coming right up."
As the man went to fetch Vincent's drink, Vincent sighed deeply and rested his elbows on the bar. Then he pressed his face into his hands and rubbed slowly. This was NOT how he wanted to end tonight. It had been such a wonderful day with Aiden and Bernadette! While he'd already made the decision to come here, Vincent still didn't feel good about it. Though he was of the mind of just not caring, a small little voice in the back of his head still burrowed its way back in. It spoke whispers; not so very nice ones at all. And without his consent, his mind shifted and he couldn't help but think: what would Aiden think of him right now?
Of course, ironically, that thought would have to come as rum was set down in front of him. Vincent grunted a "Thanks" as he reached for the goblet and drew it nearer. With another heavy sigh, he glanced into the amber depths of his drink. He'd thought about how just the other day he'd poured his three bottles of alcohol down the drain without a second thought. And it had been because Aiden had voiced his belief that Vincent would do the right thing and not drink his worries away. That had made him feel really good about himself. He wanted to be a man worthy of Aiden's praise! Yet...here he sat days later with alcohol between his hands anyway once again.
'What a low-life, I am,' Vincent thought silently to himself as he lifted the glass to just under his nose and inhaled deeply. That delicious, bold scent hit Vincent deep in a lot of just the right places. His mouth was already watering and his emotional aches screamed for silence! Yet as he parted his lips to take that first sip, he could hear Aiden's voice was in his ear as if he were right in front of him with that brilliant smile of his.
"...I know you can do this."
Vincent swore under his breath and muttered a string of very colorful curse words as he brought his hands to his face and rubbed with frustration. Why did it even fucking matter what Aiden thought?! he wondered irritably. He just wanted his damn drink and now he couldn't even do that?! How dare Aiden come into his life and shake things up like this?! What next?! What aspect of Vincent's life would he start wedging his way into next?!
What irritated him even more was he knew he wasn't really angry at Aiden. He just wanted to be angry at him. The truth was that he was angry at himself and Vincent damn well knew it. It just made him feel even worse. This was all on him. The worst part of it all was he knew that the alcohol wouldn't really do anything but make him feel even more like shit. Yet he still made the decision to come here.
Yet as he hunched over his drink a little bit more, a sharp pain pierced his side which made him involuntarily wince just the tiniest bit. Another sigh escaped him as he straightened uncomfortably. There was that as well. He hadn't exactly wanted to come here (at least that's what Vincent told himself) but he wasn't supposed to be smoking. So this was him being good, right? He thought back to how he felt about the bhang just a short time ago and how he'd rather be smoking the herb instead. It would bring the relief he really needed; both mentally and physically. But the coughing could cause further damage to his broken ribs. It would be wise not to. So, therefore, the craving of relief had brought him here to this disgusting place; not just the locale but his current mental state as well. And he felt it was just as well...for in his eyes it was what he deserved.
The sound of a woman's shrill laugh jolted him from his self-loathing as it followed with a fit of giggles as a man's heavily slurred voice began making loud, suggestive comments. Vincent turned away slightly and tried to tune out the sounds of the drunken couple as he focused once more on his drink. Rum. Yes, that was much more preferable to focus on...but it didn't last very long as the man exclaimed loudly, "Hold on, woman. I need to pee!"
The barman laughed across the bar, "Make sure to actually make it to the toilet this time?" As the man waved him off, he began to unsteadily make his way to his feet and set off to relieve himself. Yet he stumbled and bumped off the booth and nearly collided into Vincent's chair! The man fell stomach first into the bar and suddenly let out a massive belch right in Vincent's ear that echoed throughout the bar! The woman, barman, and a few other patrons laughed but Vincent felt disgusted and he had to fight not to punch the man. Though, thankfully, the man wandered off in search of the toilet a second later and Vincent was left to a bit more quiet once again.
Vincent silently judged the drunken man and his behavior. 'Disgusting,' he thought to himself as he lifted the goblet to his lips. Yet as much as he tried to push it down, a little voice in the back of his head whispered, 'Well, aren't we the judgmental one? And what of you, Vincent? How soon until you'll be lost in your own drunken stupor again like you always do when things get tough? Will you puke in front of someone else tonight?'
What if...what if Aiden found him like that again? Or worse? Like...like the time he'd woken up half-naked outside one of the bookshops. In his intoxicated state, he'd thought it was the library and couldn't understand why he couldn't go in (despite it being after midnight) when it was supposed to be a public place. God...that had been utterly embarrassing! Why the Hell DID he even drink?
And it was as if suddenly something switched in Vincent and his mind went blank. He blinked and then stared down into his goblet filled with rum one more time...and then with determination he lifted it to his mouth and drained the whole thing in one swallow! Then as soon as the last drop entered his mouth, he licked his lips and set the goblet down hard on the table.
'Never again,' he silently swore to himself as he stood abruptly and slid some coins onto the table to pay for his drink. He gave a curt nod to the barman then turned on his heel and left the bar behind, leaving the barman staring after him in bewilderment.
~
This scene was taken in Second Life at Victorian London - Time Portal in the Bar Parlour! Just go the main city square and it is directly behind the London Music Hall to the right upon entering the square from the landing point!
You can check out this AMAZING roleplay-type parcel and even rent from there! Its so realistic! Seriously! The details and realism here are incredible!
NEXT PART: Special Chapter- PRIDE MONTH! Vincent and Aiden are being shoved out of the Rainbow Closet!
www.flickr.com/photos/153660805@N05/52981192623/in/datepo...
To read the rest of the story, here's the album link:
www.flickr.com/photos/153660805@N05/albums/72157717075565127
***Please note this is a BOY LOVE (BL/yaoi/gay) series. It is a slow burn and rated PG13!***
Special thank you to my husband Vin (Be My Mannequin? Pose Store) for collaborating with me on this series and co-starring as The Captain!
DISCORD SERVER: That's right! The Captain and The Engineer has a Discord Server! If you wanna join and chat with other crewmates and see what's new and happening before it gets posted to Flickr, click the link!
***NEW!!!!***
The Captain and the Engineer now has a FACEBOOK PAGE! Please come Like, Follow, and join the crew! Thank you so much for all your support!
FACEBOOK PAGE:
www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558531406088
43. The Captain and The Engineer: An Escape
Author's Note: The contents of this chapter include very sensitive subject matter and may be triggering to some individuals. Scenes of abuse of various forms are represented as not only for storytelling, but to raise awareness of what this behavior looks like. Abusive behavior in this story includes, but is not limited to: physical abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse, gaslighting, manipulation, intentional triggering of another's PTSD, and trauma. In no way are these scenes intended to purposely trigger or harm anyone.
~
After agreeing on a location and time for their dinner tomorrow, Vincent was glad to finally shut the door behind Damien after another long five minutes of "Goodbyes" later. He locked the door then turned around and slumped back against the wood with a heavy, drained sigh.
"Bloody...fucking...Hell...I'm not stoned enough for his shit!" he groaned aloud to himself once he heard Damien's footsteps descending the staircase. Bhang. He needed bhang. Right now, he didn't want to be sober. He didn't want to have to think. Yes, he was grateful to have gotten through this with Damien but it didn't cease the constant feeling of being on edge now. He felt beyond done with the day and still felt overwhelmed by it...and it was getting worse by the minute.
Vincent licked his lips and then pushed away from the door to head for his kitchen. His kettle sat cold on his wood stove with the container of Bernadette's specially made bhang on a nearby counter waiting for him. He just needed to select a tea to go with it. He set the kettle once again to heat up and went to go do just that.
By the time Vincent went to the cabinet to select a tea, he was already starting to feel sour. He already knew the bhang would not hit the way he was needing. He glanced at the concoction over his shoulder sullenly then back up into his cabinet before reaching for his favorite brand of chamomile tea. Yes, chamomile to calm his nerves. Vincent just had to remind himself that everything was fine now. He just had to center and breathe.
'This will help,' he thought to himself with determination as he closed the cabinet. But Vincent knew that the relief that bhang would bring him would not be the same relief as when he smoked the herb, itself. The sweet burn that came with cannabis was something that he longed for. It would be immediate and the effect would be that much better and stronger in the way he needed. But with broken ribs he knew it wasn't wise. The only other option was alcohol. While he was used to drowning his sorrows in liqueur, he loathed the fact that he used it as an escape. He never felt better the next day, but it was what he was used to. He was even less inclined to use that route now considering he'd promised Aiden that he would not....but it felt extremely fucking tempting right now!
Now, Vincent was standing before his kettle. He just stood there as he waited for the water to boil. All while standing there, Vincent just tried to let himself decompress. Rolling his head around on his neck produced no relief at all. His shoulders were even more tense and he just couldn't seem to physically come down quick enough from the stress and overwhelming thoughts. Yet, as he stared at his kettle and grumbled to himself and thought irritably that grass probably grew faster, he felt an unwelcome urge pulling at him: a need for escape.
Vincent wanted to just decompress and just forget about everything just for a little while! And to be honest right now, home didn't feel so welcome. It held a lingering, heavy discomfort. Or perhaps it was simply him? It didn't matter as suddenly cruel thoughts started to roar in his mind and he immediately began to regret his decision to pour his alcohol down the drain. Nor was there any cannabis to be found at home (aside from the bhang), and he wasn't supposed to be doing that, was he?
"Fuck it!"
The next thing Vincent knew, he was suddenly putting out the fire in the stove. As soon as it was doused, he scooped up his tea bag and bhang and went to put them away. He rushed himself doing so and then he quickly went to change his boots into more comfortable walking shoes. Then, he grabbed his pouch of money and his key. Without further ado, Vincent slipped out the front door of his flat and locked it behind him. Once he was downstairs by the street, he deliberately headed off in the direction opposite from Damien's sister's residence and The Fat Lady's.
...
It was a short while later that Vincent finally saw sight of the small, sleazy hole-in-the-wall bar well hidden along the edge of the slums that he'd chosen to patron this evening. It was a place that only locals knew of and even fewer frequented. It was known for strong and cheap alcohol, whores for any preference, and dirty dealings. In comparison, it made the usual rowdy The Fat Lady's Tavern look like a teahouse. And it was the kind of place Vincent could go and not be bothered by anyone he knew.
He could hear the shouting of a quarreling duo down the street and the sound of a woman screaming at them to stop their foolishness. Vincent glanced down that direction and sighed before squaring his shoulders and drawing himself up to his full height. Despite his small stature Vincent knew how to be intimidating in a way that made no one want to mess with him. And so with that front up, he stepped off the curb and headed across the street. Even though he appeared unarmed Vincent was not one to mess with, and he knew people knew it just by looking at him. And sure enough as he did, a few eyes did glance his way.
Vincent strode up to the door and yanked it open. He was very grateful to find that the bar was not nearly as busy as it usually was this time of evening. He made his way up to the bar and took a seat. He glanced towards the barman who was approaching but paused as he heard Vincent grunt, "Rum. Best you got."
"Coming right up."
As the man went to fetch Vincent's drink, Vincent sighed deeply and rested his elbows on the bar. Then he pressed his face into his hands and rubbed slowly. This was NOT how he wanted to end tonight. It had been such a wonderful day with Aiden and Bernadette! While he'd already made the decision to come here, Vincent still didn't feel good about it. Though he was of the mind of just not caring, a small little voice in the back of his head still burrowed its way back in. It spoke whispers; not so very nice ones at all. And without his consent, his mind shifted and he couldn't help but think: what would Aiden think of him right now?
Of course, ironically, that thought would have to come as rum was set down in front of him. Vincent grunted a "Thanks" as he reached for the goblet and drew it nearer. With another heavy sigh, he glanced into the amber depths of his drink. He'd thought about how just the other day he'd poured his three bottles of alcohol down the drain without a second thought. And it had been because Aiden had voiced his belief that Vincent would do the right thing and not drink his worries away. That had made him feel really good about himself. He wanted to be a man worthy of Aiden's praise! Yet...here he sat days later with alcohol between his hands anyway once again.
'What a low-life, I am,' Vincent thought silently to himself as he lifted the glass to just under his nose and inhaled deeply. That delicious, bold scent hit Vincent deep in a lot of just the right places. His mouth was already watering and his emotional aches screamed for silence! Yet as he parted his lips to take that first sip, he could hear Aiden's voice was in his ear as if he were right in front of him with that brilliant smile of his.
"...I know you can do this."
Vincent swore under his breath and muttered a string of very colorful curse words as he brought his hands to his face and rubbed with frustration. Why did it even fucking matter what Aiden thought?! he wondered irritably. He just wanted his damn drink and now he couldn't even do that?! How dare Aiden come into his life and shake things up like this?! What next?! What aspect of Vincent's life would he start wedging his way into next?!
What irritated him even more was he knew he wasn't really angry at Aiden. He just wanted to be angry at him. The truth was that he was angry at himself and Vincent damn well knew it. It just made him feel even worse. This was all on him. The worst part of it all was he knew that the alcohol wouldn't really do anything but make him feel even more like shit. Yet he still made the decision to come here.
Yet as he hunched over his drink a little bit more, a sharp pain pierced his side which made him involuntarily wince just the tiniest bit. Another sigh escaped him as he straightened uncomfortably. There was that as well. He hadn't exactly wanted to come here (at least that's what Vincent told himself) but he wasn't supposed to be smoking. So this was him being good, right? He thought back to how he felt about the bhang just a short time ago and how he'd rather be smoking the herb instead. It would bring the relief he really needed; both mentally and physically. But the coughing could cause further damage to his broken ribs. It would be wise not to. So, therefore, the craving of relief had brought him here to this disgusting place; not just the locale but his current mental state as well. And he felt it was just as well...for in his eyes it was what he deserved.
The sound of a woman's shrill laugh jolted him from his self-loathing as it followed with a fit of giggles as a man's heavily slurred voice began making loud, suggestive comments. Vincent turned away slightly and tried to tune out the sounds of the drunken couple as he focused once more on his drink. Rum. Yes, that was much more preferable to focus on...but it didn't last very long as the man exclaimed loudly, "Hold on, woman. I need to pee!"
The barman laughed across the bar, "Make sure to actually make it to the toilet this time?" As the man waved him off, he began to unsteadily make his way to his feet and set off to relieve himself. Yet he stumbled and bumped off the booth and nearly collided into Vincent's chair! The man fell stomach first into the bar and suddenly let out a massive belch right in Vincent's ear that echoed throughout the bar! The woman, barman, and a few other patrons laughed but Vincent felt disgusted and he had to fight not to punch the man. Though, thankfully, the man wandered off in search of the toilet a second later and Vincent was left to a bit more quiet once again.
Vincent silently judged the drunken man and his behavior. 'Disgusting,' he thought to himself as he lifted the goblet to his lips. Yet as much as he tried to push it down, a little voice in the back of his head whispered, 'Well, aren't we the judgmental one? And what of you, Vincent? How soon until you'll be lost in your own drunken stupor again like you always do when things get tough? Will you puke in front of someone else tonight?'
What if...what if Aiden found him like that again? Or worse? Like...like the time he'd woken up half-naked outside one of the bookshops. In his intoxicated state, he'd thought it was the library and couldn't understand why he couldn't go in (despite it being after midnight) when it was supposed to be a public place. God...that had been utterly embarrassing! Why the Hell DID he even drink?
And it was as if suddenly something switched in Vincent and his mind went blank. He blinked and then stared down into his goblet filled with rum one more time...and then with determination he lifted it to his mouth and drained the whole thing in one swallow! Then as soon as the last drop entered his mouth, he licked his lips and set the goblet down hard on the table.
'Never again,' he silently swore to himself as he stood abruptly and slid some coins onto the table to pay for his drink. He gave a curt nod to the barman then turned on his heel and left the bar behind, leaving the barman staring after him in bewilderment.
~
This scene was taken in Second Life at Victorian London - Time Portal in the Bar Parlour! Just go the main city square and it is directly behind the London Music Hall to the right upon entering the square from the landing point!
You can check out this AMAZING roleplay-type parcel and even rent from there! Its so realistic! Seriously! The details and realism here are incredible!
NEXT PART: Special Chapter- PRIDE MONTH! Vincent and Aiden are being shoved out of the Rainbow Closet!
www.flickr.com/photos/153660805@N05/52981192623/in/datepo...
To read the rest of the story, here's the album link:
www.flickr.com/photos/153660805@N05/albums/72157717075565127
***Please note this is a BOY LOVE (BL/yaoi/gay) series. It is a slow burn and rated PG13!***
Special thank you to my husband Vin (Be My Mannequin? Pose Store) for collaborating with me on this series and co-starring as The Captain!
DISCORD SERVER: That's right! The Captain and The Engineer has a Discord Server! If you wanna join and chat with other crewmates and see what's new and happening before it gets posted to Flickr, click the link!
***NEW!!!!***
The Captain and the Engineer now has a FACEBOOK PAGE! Please come Like, Follow, and join the crew! Thank you so much for all your support!
FACEBOOK PAGE:
www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558531406088