The Eraser #7: The Infamous Joey Rigger

Lenny parks outside of 130 Wien and Novik Blvd, where his first job as ‘The Eraser’ shall occur. It’s a pity he is dressed as a pencil. Jumping out of his van, he grabs a bucket of his patented cleeratol, a mop and bucket, and a pack of chicken bites (this is hungry work). All these supplies in tow, he runs towards the abandoned house. Having expected a cabal of low looking gangsters, Lenny is surprised to come face to face with a figure in a red and gold winged suit.

 

Firebug: “Umm… are you the guy?”

 

Lenny freezes like an antelope in headlights (marvel reference in a DC product, what is this the CW?). Gangsters are easy, but with supervillains… they are unpredictable.

 

Eraser: “Hi, I’m Len-RASER, I’m Le Eraser!”

 

The figure looks at Lenny, slightly confused.

 

Firebug: “Well I’m Le Firebug, but you can call me Joey Rigger, Len.”

 

Eraser: “What did you want me for, Joey!”

 

Firebug glances towards the corner of the room, where a heavily burnt body lies.

 

Eraser: “Jesus f*** Christ, dude… did you do that?”

 

Joey: Well, my friend Harlan helped a little. Can you do something about it?”

 

Eraser: “Sir, they don’t just call me The Eraser because I dress as a number 2 pencil!”

 

Joey: “Are you sure?

 

Eraser: “Yes, can you just let me get on with the job!”

 

Joey: “Sure, I’ll just boink my girlfriend upstairs!”

 

Lenny doesn’t answer, preferring not to let that sentence sink in. Once Joey has gotten upstairs, Lenny pulls out a piece of apparatus. He jams a pipe into the crispy, crispy neck, and before plugging the other end to a cannister of cleeratol and turns a dial at the end of it. Cleeretol slowly pumps into the body, and the body begins to dissolve, the previous crispiness aiding in the reaction. Anticipating a long wait, Lenny calls Firebug twice, the first time resulting in uncomfortable creaking, and the second time producing and exclamation of-

 

Firebug: “SHUT THE F*** UP PENCIL NECK I’M TRYING TO-!

 

Lenny cuts it off before anything more is said.

 

Lenny: “Well if I’m going to be here for a while!”

 

He pulls out his phone and dials in a number.

 

Ossie: “Len?”

 

Lenny: “I have a lot of waiting to do Oz…”

 

Ossie: “You don’t mean…”

 

Lenny: “Bring the bags!”

 

2 Hours Later…

 

While Oz escapes through the window, not realising they were on the second floor, Lenny clears away any Marijuana smoke that remained, as Firebug makes his way down the stairs.

 

Firebug: “Sorry to keep you waiting, me and my girlfriend were-”

 

Lenny: “La-la-la-la, I am not listening! Well, the body is gone, though I did call some…”

 

Lenny engages in the stoner trope of examining his hands for a moment.

 

Lenny: “…Help! Now I for the matter of payment!”

 

Firebug pulls out his wallet, inadvertently dropping it in the process. Courteously, Lenny picks it up, noting a photograph inside it.

 

Eraser: “Oh, you know Tiger Moth?”

 

Firebug nods insincerely as Lenny notes the angle at which the photo is taken.

 

Eraser: “She doesn’t seem to know you are there… is that… CALENDAR MAN!”

 

Firebug snatches the photo from Lenny’s hands, and babbles defensively.

 

Eraser: “Where were you when you took that?”

 

Firebug: “…hiding in her closet.”

 

Eraser: “… … … how quaint!”

---------------------------

The Cookie rises…

 

Done