Drury Walker- Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

=====Gotham City====

 

Twag- *This* is his house?

 

Bill- My information is scarcely wrong Mr Twag.

 

Twag- Yes but a man of his... reputation...

 

*They press the doorbell. A woman opens the door*

 

Tara- Yeah?

 

Twag- Mrs-?

 

Tara- Stevens. Yeah. Stevens. What do you want?

 

Bill- We'd like to speak to your husband, is that alright?

 

...

 

Tara- Are you cops?

 

Bill- Oh, far from it.

 

...

 

Tara- Come in then. Marty! Visitors!

 

Bill- *whistles* Nice place.

 

Tara- Suppose so. Marty sued Wayne Enterprises a month or so ago. Biiiig cash settlement. Tell ya, I ain't ever seen so much money.

 

Bill- I can imagine.

 

*Twag's gaze wanders over to a picture*

 

Tara-...My son.

Twag- *Your son*? ... Yes, of course, I heard about what happened ... My 'condolences'

 

Tara- It's nothing. Let's move on shall we?

 

Twag- Please.

 

*She leads them into the living room*

 

Tara- He must be upstairs. I'll call him again.

Help yourself.

 

*she gestures to a pile of old gossip magazines.

Bill takes one*

 

Tara- Marty!

 

*There is a noise from the landing*

 

Marty- Coming.

 

*Martin appears at the door*

 

Marty- What is-?

 

Twag- Hello *Martin*

 

Marty- Oh, not this again. Read my lips Twag: NO. I've done this team up nonsense twice and believe me, it's never exactly gone well for me.

 

Bill- That's hardly a reason now is it?

 

Marty- Uh huh. And you are?

 

Bill- William Garth.

 

Twag- Blaze's kid.

 

Marty- Oh. The insane cultist. You were on the news. Piss off.

 

Bill- I think you're being overly dismissive here.

 

Marty- I don't think I am.

 

Tara- Ok, is something going on I don't know about?

 

Marty- Nothing. Just make some coffee.

 

Tara- Uh, excuse me? I'm not your slave!

 

Marty- Coffee. Please!

 

Tara- *grumble* Just wait until you're fat..

*exits*

 

Marty- Now look what you've done. I'm finally on top of things I'm not letting you ruin this. I'm going to give you five seconds to get out-

 

Twag- Don't turn your back on me! Onomatopoeia.

 

*Martin's body language suddenly becomes a lot tenser. His neck grips, his back straightens and when he speaks, his voice is cold and emotionless*

 

Ono- Yes?

 

Twag- I'm going to ask you a question. Is that ok? Are you really on top Ono?

 

...

 

Twag- Yes, you're rich. Yes you've this nice life, and that bratty stepson's locked up...

 

Ono- And?

 

Twag- Don't you want more? I can give you that!

Ono- Tell me, do you know who else said that?

...

 

Ono- The Moth. Charaxes. Mr Moth. Ted Carson. But in the end, Mr Twag, it was my own efforts that got me here.

 

Twag- Let me put it this way-

*To the tune of "In or Out"*

Twag- I remember a time

When crime was sublime

There was plenty of loot in the lair

 

We'd shoot and we'd score

And the money would pour

We'd nary a worry or care

 

Then along came this mayor

With his soft-hearted dream

And he ratted Bill out in the end,

 

We'll rally the troops!

We were meant to regroup

And return to our roots once again!

 

Are you in or out?

Gotta know without a doubt

I'm the one you need for a dirty deed

I'm the best, success is guaranteed

 

Are you man or mouce?

Listen here you little louse

You want a fearless leader, one that's strong and stout?

Better vote for me

Are you in or out?

 

Bill- I used to be smart, yes,

Horrendously heartless

Without corruption, times are tough

I knew what I had

To be blissfully bad;

Then Walker brought this sensitive stuff!

And we strayed from the path

Of our rigorous wrath;

Now we're taking a bath in the dust!

But you'll reclaim your winnings,

Your humble beginnings,

In turmoil and torture I trust!

 

Twag- Are you in or out?

Double-crosser or devout?

Put your faith in me,

Pretty soon you'll see

I'm the king of generosity

 

Are you foe or friend?

Here's the path I recommend

You want a ride to fame?

I've got the fastest route;

What's it gonna be?

Are you in or out?

 

Bill- We'll be ruling in all the right places,

From City Hall to the Hattery

Imagine the fear on their faces

When we drop by for cookies and tea

 

Twag- Come on, Ono!

Follow me!

Are you in or out?

If you're with me, give a shout

I'll lead you all the way,

Into the glory days

 

Bill- We'll start a whole new monarchy!

Are you out or in?

Make your choice now, sink or swim!

 

Twag- You can stick with me, or stay behind and pout

What's it gonna be?

Consider carefully.

Are you in or out?

 

Ono- Clap. Clap. Clap.

 

Done